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Pirate11 · Sep 13, 2008, 10:13 PM

My wife and I have been married for 28 years. I am in the Navy and have been deployed a lot within the past 8 years. I got Orders across the country and could not sell the house in time to move the family. Once I got there, I moved my family to Louisiana, next door to her parents house to help her dad out. After I moved all our our possessions there, she then tells me a month later that she has been unhappy due to my commitment to the Navy and that she has been seeing an old boyfriend and has feeling for him.
She states that she does not love me but loves the old boyfriend. She had a hysterectomy 6 weeks ago and has started talking to me like I am a human being again.
Several people have told me to just divorce her and get on with my life, others have stated to wait until she get her physical side back on track and things might turn around again for the better.
I am confused. I love my wife, even though she wiped our checking/savings accounts out and I am stuck with a house across the country that I cannot sell and she states that she is happy.
Should I give up on our marriage and go through with the divorce or should I give her space and time and see what happens in 5-6 months. I feel that I am on a Yo-Yo.:confused:

ThruHerEyes · Sep 13, 2008, 10:58 PM

I think only you can answer this question. No matter what anyone else says, we cannot feel what you do in your heart. And in the end you are going to do what you want. It's easy for others to give advice when they are on the outside looking in.

For example, my first reaction would say to divorce her. But love makes us do things we wouldn't typically do otherwise. You need to do what is best for yourself and decide if this is a woman you want to continue a relationship with even if she does come back. You will never be able to trust her again.

div2wice · Sep 22, 2008, 08:06 PM

First off, THANK YOU FOR SERVING!! Please know we appreciate and pray for all of you guys, no matter where you are, every day.

Second, I have to be honest, and forgive me for using the hormone card, but hormones can make us wigg out. I'm not sure for the reason behind the Hysterectomy, but having female issues myself I can tell you that hormones really can change a woman's actions. I don't know here, and I don't know why all of a sudden she's against you being in the Navy when its been years, so it sounds like there could possibly be other issues underneath that.
It is up to you. Its hard because you really can't do anything while you're overseas. Is there ANY way for her to come over there with you to work it out? I know the house, but it may be worth struggling with the house temporarily for you & her to have some time to work this out.