[kroderus]

Okay, I'm 14. I live somewhere in New York. I met this girl whose 16 in a chat room(pathetic, I know). We talk on the phone all the time, and she's told me that she likes me a lot, and I think I may like her too. Now, here's my problem: she lives in the midwest US. For those of you who don't know, its about 28 hrs by car to her from me. And I can't afford to go by plane either.
She's told me she's not a virgin, too. I am though. She's told me numerous times that she would take my virginity if I let her. And we've had phone sex at least 3 times.
I need help! What should I do? I just started 10th grade at a new school and there's a lot of girls there and I've already seen a girl I may like, but I don't want to ruin it with Midwest girl.

[J_9]

Hun, you are only 14, live REAL life not cyber life. LDRs rarely work out for adults, much less children.

As for your virginity... keep it until you are ready to be a father. Tonight I will be delivering the baby of a 14 year old girl. Very sad situation indeed.

[jjwoodhull]

In reality, you could not have a relationship with someone who lives half way across the country while you are still in high school. If you want to keep chatting with her to maintain a friendship, that's fine. But you should be pursuing the girl that you are interested in school. Also, seriously, 14 is too young to be having sex. There will be plenty of time for that in the future. :)

[JBeaucaire]

Midwest girl = a really fun penpal... apparently 14 year olds do cyber sex now, too (*sigh*)
Local school girls = potential girlfriends.

There is nothing to "mess up" with someone you are geographically separated from. You two aren't 2 years into a relationship THEN got separated, you've never actually met. It's completely different, and you know that.

Keep your fun and frisky pen pal, if you want, but lead your life in the real world. Don't lie to your pen pal either. She can offer good advice (hopefully) about dealing with girls as you start REAL dates.