[Shakeh]

My hands start to shake when I am in public places ,when I am in my home or somewhere that I haven't direct responsibility everything goes well I have no shakiness and I am relaxed ,but as soon as I consider that I must do some important things in front of unfamiliar people and the people are going to watch me for it I start to shake ,I hate this situation that puts me in very uncomfortable situation ,naturally I am a shy person and I know I have lack of confidence ,but this situation really disable me and I want to run away from that places,I start to think that the people are going to make fun of me ,I don't like to take any drugs ,is there any practical advices that can help me please?:confused: :confused:

[Clough]

You could be having some sort of anxiety attack. These sort of things can manifest themselves in a number of ways. I have had them for years.

What sort of situations cause these sort of things to happen to you, please?

Thanks!

[Shakeh]

Thanks for responding Clough,
I had it since my childhood but it was so little and rare,they got worse since I lost my mother and I must did some official inheritance official works ,I was so nervous that days and the behaviour of some of the officials was not so nice .in other hand there was a bank that my mother had some money there and I inherit some money from my mother ,the cashier behavior was was not really intelligently and I started to be shaky there and decided not to go to that bank again and little by little I noticed that going to anther bank also cause me the same anxiety attacks and I know have this attacks in some other public places unrelated to this!

[Clough]

What I found was helpful to get rid of my anxiety attacks was to put myself into situations where I would have to perform and be in front of people. It took some time and angst on my part, but for the most part, I'm over them. I do still have some fears, though...

I'm not sure that we ever really get over or get rid of them completely.

To me, it's sounds as though you need to be out with people and doing things with them where you might have some responsibilities toward the other people.

What do you think?

Thanks!

[Shakeh]

Thanks again Clough I will try my best ,Yes I must try to stop that fears I know,maybe that fear comes with some roots in our minds,the fear to not be humiliated by others, not being in situations that is going to harm our emotions,if I could stop that physical symptoms !

[Choux]

Are you from an English speaking culture like America, Australia or Britain.. I get the feeling you are not. That makes it difficult for me to answer your question, in a way.

I think you are frightened by situations in which you have no experience... made more difficult by the death of your mother on whom you relied.

When I was young, I had the same problem you have, lack of confidence and being shaky, but I worked my way out of it and was able to function in all social situations.

The first step that helped me the most was to be in a social situation where I had to talk to people and succeed. It is helpful to have a social role... not just "be yourself"... while you are developing your confidence. I took a job as a waitress in a quality restaurant to make money for college. I really gained a lot of social confidence from that simple job!

One of the most important pieces of wisdom an individual needs to learn in life is 'not to take anything personally'. I highly recommend the book, "The Four Agreements" by Ruiz for four lessons on how to think about important things and how to live happily.

Best wishes going forward, :)