[spyderglass]

Hi everyone.

Most of you know me, know that I have two wonderful children, a son that just turned 10 today, and a daughter who is 6.

Well, happy birthday to my little Jared, today at school he was analyzed by a psychologist. Some background on Jared, he's been in speech therapy since he was 4, he's always been a very active little boy. He has an extremely hard time concentrating, and he struggles allot in school.

Last year he was put into a special class for English and Math. He attended regular grade 3 in the afternoons, and struggled greatly there.

The psychologist did an assessment on him in Grade 1, and again today, and it is her opinion that he has ADHD and that we should put him on Ritalin.

I cried all the way home. I've heard so many horror stories about Ritalin, so many reasons not to give your child this drug.

Anyone else with a child that has ADHD? Anyone with a child on Ritalin? What are your experiences, good, bad, positive, negative.

We have tried everything else, and have exhausted every avenue, this is our last resort, do we do it?

Before you ask, I'm in Canada. Here in Canada they do extensive testing before giving the prognosis of ADHD, this is a factual diagnosis, not jus the teachers saying, ah, problem child, slow learner, hyperactive, ADHD. He has been monitored for 5 years now by the same teachers, and the same psychologist, the diagnosis is sound.

Thanks in advance for any info you have.

Alty, a very sad mom. :(

DO NOT PUT HIM ON RITALIN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED
Sorry- I was a so called ADHD child- it made me sick to my stomach
It gave me headaches- I lost a lot of weight-
Your child has nothing wrong with him
He is probably too smart-
Myself- I got discouraged at the slow pace of school classes
Try other options before medication
Read a book called Please Understand me and Please Understand me 2
Your child is an 'Artisan' child
Some children just learn differently- Visual Aural Reading And Kinesthetic
Most classrooms are based in Aural and Reading only-
But please- for your child- anything but Ritalin

[JudyKayTee]

DO NOT PUT HIM ON RITALIN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED
sorry- I was a so called ADHD child- it made me sick to my stomach
it gave me headaches- i lost alot of weight-
Your child has nothing wrong with him
he is probably too smart-
Myself- i got discouraged at the slow pace of school classes
try other options before medication
Read a book called Please Understand me and Please Understand me 2
your child is an 'Artisan' child
some children just learn differently- Visual Aural Reading And Kinesthetic
Most classrooms are based in Aural and Reading only-
but please- for your child- anything but Ritalin

I know nothing about the subject but I do see that you take Cymbalta, which has so many side effects.

Is it possible you were misdiagnosed as a child and that is why the Ritalin caused so many problems?

[Alty]

Oh, gosh - I have no experience with this, no knowledge but I just wanted to lend my support. I think like anything else you have to do your research, find a Doctor you trust and then see what works for your son - not necessarily what works for the rest of the World.

He's obviously got a caring Mom, you said he's a great kid - you just have to find what works for him - and you.

Again - no advice, don't know anything about it - just wanted to lend what little support I can.

Darnit, I had to spread the rep.

Thank you so much Judy for your caring words and for your support.

This has been hard to take. I don't know allot about this either and that's frustrating. I want to do what's best for my son.

Good news, I have a wonderful doctor, I trust him and I know he'll exhaust every avenue to find the right meds or alternatives for my son.

Thank you so much. :)

[Alty]

DO NOT PUT HIM ON RITALIN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED
sorry- I was a so called ADHD child- it made me sick to my stomach
it gave me headaches- i lost alot of weight-
Your child has nothing wrong with him
he is probably too smart-
Myself- i got discouraged at the slow pace of school classes
try other options before medication
Read a book called Please Understand me and Please Understand me 2
your child is an 'Artisan' child
some children just learn differently- Visual Aural Reading And Kinesthetic
Most classrooms are based in Aural and Reading only-
but please- for your child- anything but Ritalin

My husband was on Ritalin when he was younger, and he claims that it helped him tremendously.

All medications can have bad effects on certain people. No medicine will work for everyone.

My son has the opposite problem at school, he has trouble finishing his school work because he's too easily distracted. He cannot concentrate on the work, and that's why he's frustrated.

I agree that he is a very intelligent child, he just can't channel that intelligence because the outside world is too distracting. This frustration comes out in aggressive behaviour and temper tantrums. He's also very emotional over very small things. These are all symptoms of ADHD, in fact, the list that the psychologist read to us that are characteristics of ADHD, well my son fits every one.

I don't think it's a mis-diagnosis, but I will look into alternatives to Ritalin. I'm not discounting Ritalin as an option though. I want what's best for my son, that's all.

I never go into things blindly, I will continue my research and talk to my doctor about alternatives. Ritalin is my last option.

Thank you for your concern. :)

[starbuck8]

My husband was on Ritalin when he was younger, and he claims that it helped him tremendously.

All medications can have bad effects on certain people. No medicine will work for everyone.

My son has the opposite problem at school, he has trouble finishing his school work because he's too easily distracted. He cannot concentrate on the work, and that's why he's frustrated.

I agree that he is a very intelligent child, he just can't channel that intelligence because the outside world is too distracting. This frustration comes out in aggressive behaviour and temper tantrums. He's also very emotional over very small things. These are all symptoms of ADHD, in fact, the list that the psychologist read to us that are characteristics of ADHD, well my son fits every one.

I don't think it's a mis-diagnosis, but I will look into alternatives to Ritalin. I'm not discounting Ritalin as an option though. I want what's best for my son, that's all.

I never go into things blindly, I will continue my research and talk to my doctor about alternatives. Ritalin is my last option.

Thank you for your concern. :)

Big huge cuddly kissy Jare Bear hugs from Auntie Starby! :)... and of course little Syd pop too!

[Alty]

Right back at you Auntie Starby! :)

Jare Bear is currently shopping with daddy. I'm to have dinner on the table when they return. :(

I haven't yet talked to Jared about all this, I don't know how to bring it up, or how to make him understand when I do. Should I tell him or wait until we go to the doctor and have the doctor explain it to him?

If I can explain what's going on, maybe he'll be a bit less frustrated until we figure out what we're going to do. Maybe if he realizes that it's not his fault, he'll feel better.

Opinions? Advice? Anyone?

[starbuck8]

Why is it always easier to give decent advice when it's not personal? :( I think I would tell him just the basics before you go to the Dr. so he understands a little bit, and knows it isn't his fault, and isn't scared when he goes to the Doc. I would ask to be able to go in and talk to your Dr. ahead of time too, without Jared there, to discuss with him how you should handle speaking to Jare Bear about this, so he doesn't think it's something he's done wrong.

Wish I could give you something else, but I just don't know enough about it! :(

[Alty]

Starby, that's what I was thinking too.

I'd love to be able to sit with Jared and tell him, but most of this will be over his head. I think summarizing what's going on, talking at his level, that's the best option. I want to tell him so that he'll realize that all of this is going to get better, that it's not his fault, that this can be fixed.

Darnit, tears again. I love that kid so much, it hurts that I can't fix this easily. :(

Thanks Starby. :)

[starbuck8]

That's what good momma's do! They want to fix everything, and take it away. He might just surprise you, and just brush it off, and let you do what's best, and handle it, while he continues enjoying the things he likes to do!

[JudyKayTee]

Darnit, I had to spread the rep.

Thank you so much Judy for your caring words and for your support.

This has been hard to take. I don't know allot about this either and that's frustrating. I want to do what's best for my son.

Good news, I have a wonderful doctor, I trust him and I know he'll exhaust every avenue to find the right meds or alternatives for my son.

Thank you so much. :)

Just know I'm thinking about you -

What you just said is so very important - I've mentioned this before but not in this context. My husband was a brittle diabetic. There were signs and warnings when he was a child but his family did not seek treatment because his father was diabetic and this was a shameful family secret.

When my husband was finally diagnosed it became HIS shameful family secret, his fault.

My husband was a Doctor of Pharmacy, an educated man - and he always had the feeling that somehow, somewhere, Diabetes was his fault. He knew that made no sense - but as a little boy he had no one who told him otherwise and he grew up with a vague sense of shame.

So you are absolutely, positively, doing the right thing - it's not only about his physical health. t's very much about your son's self image, how he feels about himself.

You're all going to be okay. (Now I've got tears in MY eyes - group hug, group hug.)

[Wondergirl]

My autistic son is very visual and learns best by seeing instructions, etc. written down. When he hears something, it's in one ear and out the other, or at least very difficult to comprehend. So he has learned how to compensate, and we have figured out the best way that works for him. He asked me, "Is autism bad?" and I said, "No. You learn things in your own special way, your brain is wired a different way, so we figure out through trial and error how you can learn the best way for you." He has a fantastic memory which comes in handy so often, so please figure out Jared's strengths and use those to the utmost.

[Alty]

Thanks Wondergirl. :)

My son is the exact opposite. No matter what, written or oral directions, he cannot seem to focus enough to follow the direction he's given. He tries so hard, you can see the frustration in his face, body language, the way he reacts. Tears are the norm when he doesn't grasp something, because he wants to so badly, he tries so hard. It's frustrating because I want so badly for it to be easy for him, but wishes aren't reality.

Homework is always a challenge, for both of us. I am a visual person, so I learn by seeing things written down, or drawn out. I tried to teach him the way that I learn, but of course it didn't work. So I tried orally giving instructions, that failed too.

Through many different strategies, trial and error, we have come up with a way that works, but it still takes him 10 times as long to do homework then the other kids in his class. This of course leaves very little time for anything else, like sports, or fun time. Many times I just say, we'll do the rest tomorrow, because I want him to go outside, play with his friends, have some fun. It shouldn't always be work, work, work. We did discuss this at the meeting and the teachers and psychologist agreed.

I can't say it enough, I have a wonderful son, I love him so much. He is the light of my life. He is such a kind caring child, so giving, so loving, full of hugs and kisses. I don't want that to change and it is starting to because of his frustration in not being able to learn things easily. I will do whatever it takes to ease that frustration, even if it means medication.

Like I said, I'll try everything else first, but if Ritalin is the only option, then I guess we'll try it. I just want the best for my little boy.

Thank you everyone. :)

[Wondergirl]

Alty - Be extremely creative. I got a girl client to enjoy times tables when she made cheers out of them. Remember the meditation/karate/tae kwando idea for better focusing. Get books from the library about how to help an ADHD child, and get help from a librarian in finding them.

The main thing is, don't dissolve into tears and regrets and misery. Stay on top of this. We are here to help however we can.

[Alty]

I will wondegirl. I am the research queen, and I have already started getting information on ADHD and how to help my little guy.

I will try everything else before I resort to medication. I'm waiting for the psychologist report and then we'll go to the doctor. My doctor hates giving medication if there are alternative methods, so I trust him completely. He will also exhaust every avenue before resorting to drugs.

Thanks again for all the support everyone, it means so much to me. :)

[Wondergirl]

((((((((((Alty)))))))))))

[firmbeliever]

You're all going to be okay. (Now I've got tears in MY eyes - group hug, group hug.)

Can I join in the group hug?
I have to join Judy on this as I know nothing on how to help you Alty,but I sure hope you find a way to make it work well for your family.

At least you are aware of the problem and possible medication and/or help available for Jared.I am sure there are more children who grow up lost because their parents did not have the knowledge you have to take any action which would benefit their child with such conditions.

Good Luck Alty.

[DoulaLC]

Hiya Altenweg,

Can only offer some thoughts from a teacher's point of view of what I have seen in my classes with other students.

As you said, every drug will have some issues for some people. With ADHD it is often a process of determining which treatment, whether it be a medication or otherwise, works best for that individual. When medications are used, it then becomes a question of the correct dosage for that person. There is often a period of trial and error... watching to see how your child responds and making adjustments accordingly. For some, lifestyle changes work well and may all that is necessary, for others the introduction of medication achieves tremendous results.

Kids and adults diagnosed with ADHD tend to know something is off, they know they have difficulty staying focused or maintaining their concentration. I have had kids tell me they feel like their mind is racing and they can't slow it down. They know they struggle in class with academics and/or behavior. For many, the relief from having a reason determined and medication to "fix" it comes none too soon.

As firmbeliever mentioned, some children who could really use the help, never get it because their parents are not informed... and sometimes it is because their parents see it as a stigma to have their child on medication... meanwhile the child continues to suffer needlessly. Certainly drugs are used more than necessary... but when they are necessary it is literally like night and day for these children and adults.

Hope Jared finds what fits him and school becomes less of a struggle and far more enjoyable!

[Alty]

Update;

We sat down with Jared yesterday and told him (in words appropriate for his age) that he has ADHD. We explained what it is, what happens because of it and that there are a few things we are going to try to help him deal with it. We told him the medicine might be an option, but that we're going to try a few other methods first.

I expected him to cry, to say why me, you know, all the things I did when I was told he had ADHD. His reaction was surprising, his exact words "Great! So that's what's wrong with me. If I take the medicine will I finally be smart?"

Of course I told him that he's already smart, in fact he's very smart, he just doesn't know how to channel it because of the ADHD. I explained that we were going to try a different diet and we were going to try outside activities, he was really excited to get started.

The smile on his face was so reassuring. He's happy, he thought that he was stupid, that he just couldn't understand things like his classmates could. I know that's not the case, and I've always told him that he's a smart boy, but of course those are just words, they didn't change how he felt. Now he has a name for what's wrong and it's made him so happy to know that it isn't him, that this can be fixed and that it's not his fault.

Kids, they never cease to amaze me.

[BlakeCory]

I expected him to cry, to say why me, you know, all the things I did when I was told he had ADHD. His reaction was surprising, his exact words "Great! So that's what's wrong with me. If I take the medicine will I finally be smart?"

That statement says so much about him and also you. It is wonderful; really amazing to read about all the love and concern you have for him. After reading post after post with people doing such strange things it is so refreshing to read about someone who took the time to handle a situation correctly.

I know that you both will find a way to handle this and get past it, whether it is through discipline or medicine because your love will be the ultimate cure.

[Alty]

Blake, had to spread the rep. Thank you so much for those kind words. :)