[worriedwoman]

Okay I have been contemplating this for a while wondering what I need to do. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years now. He has a 7 year old boy whom he has full time custody over... his mom is nowhere to be found since he was 2. Okay so I have been there since right after he turned 5 trying to do the motherly role. I've always felt sorry for him that he really never got to have a motherly relationship. But he has been a very hard child to do that with though because he is so hyper and just out of control. And he doesn't appreciate anything that I have ever tried to do for him.

So me and his father just had a baby 9 months ago and in the past year he has turned into the worst child ever. My boyfriends mom along with other family members strongly believe that he has ADHD. But my boyfriend says he's not going to take him to the doctor for them to tell him that he needs to be put on medication. He has a big pride issue and doesn't want to believe that there is anything wrong.

In the meantime the little boy is running around the house screaming and throwing himself on the floor, cussing, telling everybody to shut up, just totally out of control. He will not listen to a thing I say. If anyone tells him to do something he does the exact opposite. And he really treats me like a piece of dirt. If I cook dinner he says its gross and won't eat it just because I cooked it... he won't even try it.

I really don't know what to do because I don't want my child growing up around this kind of behavior thinking that it's okay to act like this. But I have tried to talk to my boyfriend on getting him some kind of help or some kind of advice... especially when they had to take him out of school in first grade because the teachers couldn't do anything with him. My boyfriends mom now homeschools him and she said the other day that her blood pressure is already so high that she just don't know how much more she can take of teaching him because he just don't want to listen and do the work and its just too stressful.

But on the other hand I don't want to leave because he is my child's father too and we love him very much. Him and her have a very close father daughter relationship, and it's not fair to her if we have to leave because he won't at least try to do something about his son. I mean we have talked about getting married and everything but I just don't know if I could marry into something like this. This is so hard to live with... sometimes I just feel like it would be easier if I left but that's still not going to fix the problem about the child's behavior. They've been using the excuse that he's just a 5 year old boy, and then he's just a 6 year old boy... well now he's a 7 year old boy and it's not getting better with age... it's getting A lot worse. Please help me and tell me what I should do.

Thanks!

[ScottGem]

Make an appointment with a pediatrician to have him evaluated. Then tell your boyfriend that you have made the appointment and are taking him.

Your boyfriend is doing the child a disservice by not getting him evaluated. Its actually bordering on abuse.