[86webster]

I feel like it's very tough sometimes to have these conversations with friends because they unfortunately can become irritated and biased in certain situations.

I have been dating this amazing girl for a little over 5 weeks. From the first night we met we have had the most amazing chemistry. This is not an assumptive statement she has stated this as well. She is 22 and I am 25. Obviously the first thing that will come to mind is potentially we are in different spots in our lives. She is working full time and knows exactly where she wants to go and I have been working and also am working for goals in my life. Our dates are unbelievable. She has told her friends that when her and I go out "it is as though no one else is around us. We are in our own world". When we are done with our dinner we come back to my place pop a couple bottles of wine and just have the most amazing times hanging out. She spends the night and the next morning when she has left we send each other cute messages about the amazing time we had. We talk on the phone and text daily(alot). I know she isn't dating anyone else and neither am I.

I guess my main question is that I would like to make plans to get together a few times a week. She works a day job from 7:30 to 2pm and is training for a marathon currently. She claims to love spending time with me and her friends verify that. She is planning things in the future already and has told me that she could see herself falling in love with me which was a very big surprise since neither one of us had actively been looking for a relationship.(that was discussed as well) She simply doesn't like to make plans. I don't know why unless there is a fear of cancellation or maybe she is busy and would like to see me more but just can't right now. I believe that no matter how busy you are if you truly want to see someone you go out of your way to do so. Is that wrong? I make myself available and I have plenty that I could be doing as well. I feel like she might come around here soon and it might potentially be a natural process of getting together more often. Currently we maybe get together maybe twice a week and sometimes only once a week. My personal beliefs are that in order to advance our relationship we need to have more personal contact. Not just phone conversation and text messages. Am I being unrealistic? If you believe that I should just relax and it will happen natural then I feel like I can stop thinking about it so much. Should I maybe even play a little hard to get? I really care about this girl and want to see where it can go. The thought of hard to get kind of scares me. Any help would be amazing!

[help089]

Well this is a tough one because your right about the age gap and I know what it is like because younger people have bigger goals than slightly older people and because you have more-or-less achieved your goals that you set, I think you two should talk out like a plan of action by planning everything around your spare time and her marathon training and see if there is, anything that you two are doing but can cut out in order to make time for each other i.e. annual girls night out or guys night out. Because I don't believe that you two have no spare time what-so-ever! Give it a try you never know it might work out.

[ISneezeFunny]

I'm actually coming from the other side of the equation... where I'm pretty busy most of the time and the girls I date make time for me, and eventually start complaining. If you're seeing her once a week, but still staying in touch via phone/text... appreciate it, and don't complain. Being together 2 - 3 times a week will come in due time, but right now, she may just be really busy, and if you're constantly trying to get her to spend more time with you, there's a good chance she'll tire of the clinginess and leave.

I say this... because I'm that way. Girls I usually go on good dates with... will call the next day and want to hang out in 2 - 3 days... which I just plain... can't. It's not that I don't like her, or don't want to spend time with her, but I just have important things that actually have an expiration date.

If she's at least taking time out during the day to call/text you, then leave it be. If you're one of those guys that need to spend time with the girl 3 - 4 times a week, this girl may not be it for you.

[Danap]

The two of you seem to feel the same way about each other. Try to remember that you two had things going on before you met. It's good that you have other things to keep your mind busy when you are not together, this helps you appreciate your time together just that much more. You cannot ignore you other commitments, this will only make you resent each other when those things start crashing down on you.