Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    gaurangg's Avatar
    gaurangg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 18, 2008, 07:30 AM
    What do I do to get back my love
    Hi,

    We stay in the same apartment, I only came to know when one of my friend introduced her to me in our office. She took my no. from my friend and started messaging me to make friendship. We became very good friends and after a months time I felt that I was falling in love with her. When I asked her if we were falling in love, she replied, I am already in love with you.But I was not sure if at all I was in love with her or it was just an infatuation. We used to go together in the same cab and used to hold our hands and sit together. Finally I also told her that I lover her and we started going around. I had sleepless nights and stuffs thinking of her.Every thing was going on well. One day the villain of our story arrived.

    Let me tell you about the family of my gal before going further. She is the only blessed daughter and not pampered much. She is abided by some rules. She is not allowed to go out of the house after 6 and has to be informed about where ever she is going. A bit orthodox family. She is a malayali and I am a Marwari.

    She had a past. She was in a relationship for 3 years with a guy who according to her was a physco who never treated her well. He used to embarrass her in front of public and this gal loved her madly until she realized that he was just using her and had other gals also.

    This Guy's Parents were also very supportive and started calling this poor gal and troubling her. She was helpless and when I suggested her she was afraid. The guy's parents called her asking her to come back in his life and stuffs and she was tortured. She asked me to go away from her life as she didn't wanted to see me in trouble.I loved her a lot and denied leaving her. I was with her giving her moral support.

    I wanted to make her strong and bold and asked her not to be afraid every time. They told her that they will visit her house and talk to their parents about the marriage.She became very scared that day and I was again asked to leave her as she was verymch scared this time.

    After few days she settled herself as the guy was away on some project work to Europe and there was a sign of happiness on her face. I have seen her weeping on my shoulders as I used to console her and give her courage.

    One day, the worst day of my life, we were together and I was teasing her. Every boy will tease her gal to find out how much she loves her. Even I did the same. I told her that I think "We dont have a future together". She was like , Oh! Is that so and why do I think we don't have a future. I replied, you always crib and stuffs.Inever knew that she will take it that seriously. We enjoy for few more minutes takling and then she had to go as it was getting late. We kissed each other and said bye. The other we spoke and she was looking fine.

    On Monday, She left for office without informing me and I became very angry.As we always used to go together.

    I messaged her thanks for leaving me.

    She replied back: Something wrong with you.

    I didn't reply as I wanted to make her realize her mistake.

    We didn't talk for 4 days when I realized that I was wrong. I guess it was my mistke which made her move from me. I called her on Friday and apologised she said its OK but her behaviour had completely changed. I donno what had happened to her.

    I knew it was my mistake and I Apologised for more than a month. She said we can only be friends and not more than that. I first thought of that and said OK. I Thought that at least she will come back one day but no, I was wrong. She was ignoring me. When ever I messaged or tried calling her, she ignored me. I used to weep and apology again and again but that didn't mattered her.

    I built some courage in me and asked her if she really wanted to leave me just meet me once and tell me about my mistake and I will not even utter a single word. She was not at all ready to meet me.

    We had a conversation on phone for an hour and I was asking her what was the actual issue please let me know. I asked her did she love me. Her reply was

    Yes, I do love you, I love your Mom, I love your sis and my Bro.

    She was a bit slow as if she was crying inside. I told her, Please tell me Bye for once and I will never trouble her again. She didn't.

    Its been a more than one and a half month since I have seen her or spoken to her.

    I love her a lot and am not able to concentrate. Can you please help me or suggest me something.All my cousins have helped me a lot they even tried to talk to her but she is not replying to any one.

    She only replies whe we message her saying that I am going to meet her ex-bf and she replies saying that now he is no more troubling her and she is living peacefully why do you want to make it a mess again.

    I suspect that there can be some sought of threat from her Ex and she is just doing that to protect me or self protection as her parents are not aware of her relationship. She used to every time tell me that she loves me more than I loved her.

    A gal who says that she loves more than I love is a big thing. I am sure I gave all the happiness what she might have not received from her ex-boy in her three years relationship. What I had given her in our 4 months relationship.
    gaurangg's Avatar
    gaurangg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Aug 18, 2008, 09:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by gaurangg
    Hi,

    We stay in the same apartment, I only came to know when one of my friend introduced her to me in our office. She took my no. from my friend and started messaging me to make friendship. We became very good friends and after a months time i felt that i was falling in love with her. When i asked her if we were falling in love, she replied, I am already in love with you.But i was not sure if at all i was in love with her or it was just an infatuation. We used to go together in the same cab and used to hold our hands and sit together. Finally i also told her that i lover her and we started going around. I had sleepless nights and stuffs thinking of her.Every thing was going on well. One day the villain of our story arrived.

    Let me tell you about the family of my gal before going further. She is the only blessed daughter and not pampered much. She is abided by some rules. She is not allowed to go out of the house after 6 and has to be informed about where ever she is going. A bit orthodox family. She is a malayali and i am a Marwari.

    She had a past. She was in a relationship for 3 years with a guy who according to her was a physco who never treated her well. He used to embarrass her in front of public and this gal loved her madly until she realized that he was just using her and had other gals also.

    This Guy's Parents were also very supportive and started calling this poor gal and troubling her. She was helpless and when i suggested her she was afraid. The guy's parents called her asking her to come back in his life and stuffs and she was tortured. She asked me to go away from her life as she didnt wanted to see me in trouble.I loved her a lot and denied leaving her. I was with her giving her moral support.

    I wanted to make her strong and bold and asked her not to be afraid everytime. They told her that they will visit her house and talk to their parents about the marriage.She became very scared that day and i was again asked to leave her as she was verymch scared this time.

    after few days she settled herself as the guy was away on some project work to Europe and there was a sign of happiness on her face. I have seen her weeping on my shoulders as i used to console her and give her courage.

    One day, the worst day of my life, we were together and i was teasing her. Every boy will tease her gal to find out how much she loves her. Even i did the same. I told her that i think "We dont have a future together". she was like , Oh! is that so and why do i think we dont have a future. I replied, you always crib and stuffs.Inever knew that she will take it that seriously. We enjoy for few more mins takling and then she had to go as it was getting late. We kissed eachother and said bye. The other we spoke and she was looking fine.

    On Monday, She left for office without informing me and i became very angry.As we always used to go together.

    I messaged her thanks for leaving me.

    She replied back: Something wrong with you.

    I didnt reply as i wanted to make her realize her mistake.

    We didnt talk for 4 days when i realized that i was wrong. I guess it was my mistke which made her move from me. I called her on friday and apologised she said its ok but her behaviour had completely changed. I donno what had happened to her.

    I knew it was my mistake and i Apologised for more than a month. She said we can only be friends and not more than that. I first thought of that and said ok. I Thought that atleast she will come back one day but no, i was wrong. She was ignoring me. When ever i messaged or tried calling her, she ignored me. I used to weep and apology again and again but that didnt mattered her.

    I built some courage in me and asked her if she really wanted to leave me just meet me once and tell me about my mistake and i will not even utter a single word. She was not at all ready to meet me.

    We had a conversation on phone for an hour and i was asking her what was the actual issue please let me know. I asked her did she love me. Her reply was

    Yes, I do love you, I love your Mom, I love your sis and my Bro.

    She was a bit slow as if she was crying inside. I told her, Please tell me Bye for once and i will never trouble her again. She didnt.

    Its been a more than one and a half month since i have seen her or spoken to her.

    I love her a lot and am not able to concentrate. Can you please help me or suggest me something.All my cousins have helped me a lot they even tried to talk to her but she is not replying to any one.

    She only replies whe we message her saying that i am going to meet her ex-bf and she replies back saying that now he is no more troubling her and she is living peacefully y do u want to make it a mess again.

    I suspect that there can be some sought of threat from her Ex and she is just doing that to protect me or self protection as her parents are not aware of her relationship. She used to everytime tell me that she loves me more than i loved her.

    A gal who says that she loves more than i love is a big thing. I am sure i gave all the happiness what she might have not received from her ex-boy in her three years relationship. What i had given her in our 4 months relationship.
    Can someone please help?
    Cailleac Bhuer's Avatar
    Cailleac Bhuer Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    -
     
    #3

    Aug 18, 2008, 09:58 AM
    I believe when you told here that you two had no future, you broken her heart and trust. You may have been kidding, but she obviously feels you weren't and that you will abandon her someday.

    Plus, you fail to see that you hurt her feelings and she leaves without and you get angry at her? And then you do not respnd to her text because you want her to see her mistake?

    I am sorry but it was you who made the mistake when you said told her you two had no future and then insulted her further with the "you always crib and stuffs" comment.

    If I were you, I would write her a very nice apologigtic letter saying how you screwed up and should never have said those things, even in a joking or teasing way and send it to her with a nice bouquet or something she likes...
    gaurangg's Avatar
    gaurangg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Aug 18, 2008, 10:11 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Cailleac Bhuer
    I beleive when you told here that you two had no future, you broken her heart and trust. You may have been kidding, but she obviously feels you weren't and that you will abandon her someday.

    Plus, you fail to see that you hurt her feelings and she leaves without and you get angry at her? And then you do not respnd to her text becuase you want her to see her mistake?

    I am sorry but it was you who made the mistake when you said told her you two had no future and then insulted her further with the "you always crib and stuffs" comment.

    If I were you, I would write her a very nice apologigtic letter saying how you screwed up and should never have said those things, even in a joking or teasing way and send it to her with a nice bouquet of flowers or something she likes.....
    Hi Chilleac,

    Thanks, for your precious reply. Just to let you know I apologised for more than a month and also brought cards and stuffs for her but all in vain. I know she still loves me but she is not telling me the exact reason. She is not ready to meet also. I have tried my level best. I assume her Past is coming in between. He is treathening her or something.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Aug 18, 2008, 10:18 AM
    I agree with Cailleac you 'testing' her made her feel like things were unstable and you would end up leaving her cause you didn't care as much as she cared. It is never good to play the little games couples play, it is always better to ask direct ''what do you feel?'' ''what do you want?" type questions then nobody has to second guess the other.

    You really do need to write an apology letter and tell her that you never really meant the things you said the way she took them and she means a lot to you.
    gaurangg's Avatar
    gaurangg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Aug 18, 2008, 10:55 AM
    Yes, I do know that I had committed a crime of hurting her feelings but I was kidding with her and she was fine the other day. I told her all this on Sat and we had lots of talk on Sunday. Suddenly on Monday she changed. I am very much moved due to my own mistake. I am still trying to convince her but she is not at all answering..

    Please help me!
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Aug 18, 2008, 11:02 AM
    You don't want to over do it with the I am sorry please take me back stuff either
    Cause that could push her further away too. When a guy acts too desperate or needy it scares girls off just as well.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 21, 2008, 11:47 AM
    You hurt her feelings, and apologized, now give her time to consider whether, your worth her time, and efforts any longer.
    gaurangg's Avatar
    gaurangg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Sep 4, 2008, 04:21 AM
    Hi everyone,

    Thanks for everyone's opinion and help. I guess now I will not require any opinion as the gal whom I loved is engaged..

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

I'm in love and want her back [ 7 Answers ]

Hi my name is Brandon and I'm 15. Ok I know you probably think I don't know what love is but let me explain. My first love was Amy a girl from another school same age, beautiful and perfect in my mind. We went out for four months and during the four months she would constantly call me, send me...

How to get my first love back [ 12 Answers ]

Hi this is my first time here, I'm not sure if this question has been asked but I really need help here! I'm a 20-year-old girl who recently ended a dating relationship with a 22-year-old guy. He asked me to be his girlfriend in December but I said I was not ready and he continued treating me...

Will I get back my love? [ 1 Answers ]

Hi, My birthdate is Oct 6 1974, and boyfriend's date of birth is May 20 1979, we had a fight on the day he went abroad (it was his mistake). He said he would call me as soon as he reaches his destination. However he hasn't called or emailed. Has he forgotten me or does he still think about me. Is...

Does he love me back? [ 2 Answers ]

Can anyone give me any advice on how to get my ex back? We broke up 8 months ago because I just wanted some space and I didn't feel that I loved him anymore. But just over 4 months ago I realised that I was still in love with him. I really want him back. I can't stop thinking about him and it...

I'd love to have my ex back [ 2 Answers ]

Hi. I am new to all of this so I am not sure what I should share or not but I wanted to give it a whirl. I am 20 years old and still madly in love with my exboyfriend. We met @ work and seemed so good together - he was so happy and everyone @ work said that we were perfect together and that he was...


View more questions Search