Check out some similar questions!

allypoo · Aug 15, 2008, 11:42 PM

Hey,

Me and my boyfriend just met 2 months ago, and we fell in love with each other. I am a guy as well, his dad recently found out his son's sexuality and isn't too happy with it so my boyfriend has to attend therapy with a counselor to basically turn him straight. His dad doesn't want us dating because he thinks all I want is sex... which isn't what I want. I've dated people my age but I just love this boy. I don't what to do, help me out please?:confused:

nickeknew · Aug 15, 2008, 11:50 PM

I don't think the father has the right, if his son wants to be homosexual, let him. You guys deserve to date congrats on finding someone.

allypoo · Aug 15, 2008, 11:59 PM

Originally Posted by nickeknew

I dont think the father has the right, if his son wants to be homosexual, let him. You guys deserve to date congrats on finding someone.

Thanks! Yea his dad won't even try to get to know me and just assumes I'm bad because I am 19 yr dating a 14 yr old

nickeknew · Aug 16, 2008, 12:02 AM

Lol what's the age dif between him and his wife just because your both men doesn't mean u should be treated differently

Clough · Aug 16, 2008, 12:03 AM

You really need to be aware, allypoo, that because of the difference in your ages, his father could press charges for something against you because you are an adult and he is still underage. His father is still responsible for anything concerning him. You aren't able to be like his father in the any sense of taking responsibility for him if anything were to happen to him. I hope that you wouldn't want to get into big trouble because of the choices that you make. If you were 24 and him 19, then that would be a different matter...

I'm sure that there will be others who will be along to respond to your post. I don't like to discourage relationships that could possibly good as long as all of the factors are in place that make it okay for the relationships to be happening in the first place.

sGt HarDKorE · Aug 16, 2008, 12:21 AM

Well dating isn't illegal, but sexual contact is. There is not much you can do but wait a couple of years.

nickeknew · Aug 16, 2008, 12:23 AM

Right in 5 years his dad can't control him

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 16, 2008, 12:28 AM

Wait until he is legal. Regardless of sexuality you can be charged with statutory rape for having sex with a minor. Being in a relationship with him is iffy too. If you care for him, then remain friends until he is of age.

Clough · Aug 16, 2008, 12:37 AM

Yes, even being in a relationship is definitely iffy too!

Please think of how you thought about things when you were his age. You are already headed on your way for the adult type of choices that you will have to make in life. He still has choices to make and things to learn and experience that still have to do with the early teens, school, etc. a lot of which will have nothing to do with being an adult. He needs to be allowed to make those choices and experience things according to his age and based on his parent's guidance without feeling pressured by an adult outside of his family to be making choices to do things that he really isn't ready to do based upon his experience and age.

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 16, 2008, 12:38 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

Yes, even being in a relationship is definitely iffy too!

Please think of how you thought about things when you were his age. You are already headed on your way for the adult type of choices that you will have to make in life. He still has choices to make and things to learn and experience that still have to do with the early teens, school, etc. a lot of which will have nothing to do with being an adult. He needs to be allowed to make those choices and experience things according to his age and based on his parent's guidance without feeling pressured by an adult outside of his family to be making choices to do things that he really isn't ready to do based upon his experience and age.

Absolutely agree

ISneezeFunny · Aug 16, 2008, 12:42 AM

I do have a question.

... what do you guys talk about? It's not about the sexuality, I'm concerned with... it's the maturity. I have a 15 year old brother, and talking to his friends is like stabbing myself in the eye with a spoon.. . what is there to talk about?

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 16, 2008, 12:47 AM

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I do have a question.

...what do you guys talk about? It's not about the sexuality, I'm concerned with...it's the maturity. I have a 15 year old brother, and talking to his friends is like stabbing myself in the eye with a spoon. ...what is there to talk about?

Good point, but there is also a large maturation period from 19 to 22 :P.
Albeit, not nearly as much as 14 to 19.

allypoo · Aug 16, 2008, 01:01 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

Yes, even being in a relationship is definitely iffy too!

Please think of how you thought about things when you were his age. You are already headed on your way for the adult type of choices that you will have to make in life. He still has choices to make and things to learn and experience that still have to do with the early teens, school, etc. a lot of which will have nothing to do with being an adult. He needs to be allowed to make those choices and experience things according to his age and based on his parent's guidance without feeling pressured by an adult outside of his family to be making choices to do things that he really isn't ready to do based upon his experience and age.

I agree as well. I did ask him what he wanted to do and he chooses still be with me. I'm not stupid I'm just confused, I appreciate your opinions and advice but its hard when emotions are caught in it as well. I can deal wit waiting for 3-4 years but I don't know if he can, he doesn't want me to get introuble but I don't know I just want him to be happy because like you said he's only 14 n should live n experince life like one. Sorry I'm so confused I don't make sense at time and can't put my thoughts to words. But thanks for your help =]

nickeknew · Aug 16, 2008, 01:07 AM

Its great to see you care I hope things go well

Clough · Aug 16, 2008, 01:15 AM

Thank you for replying, allypoo! I know that my other associates here will agree that we're glad that you are giving this sort of thing some serious thought as to whether it is okay for this to be happening or not.

My recommendation is that you wait and see for a number of years and not let what he wants right now to influence the good, intelligent choices that you need to make because you are the adult in this situation and being the adult, you will need to deal with any consequences of having a relationship on an adult level. He's not on the same level as you and won't even be near to that for at least a number of years.

There are many "fish in the sea" to find as far as people with whom you could have a relationship. How about exploring the possibilities with other people who are your own age, or at least adults or even older than you, before making some sort of commitment to a serious relationship with someone where you know it isn't really correct to be in, not just because of the difference in ages, but because of the differences in the experience levels of life?

JudyKayTee · Aug 16, 2008, 06:17 AM

Originally Posted by allypoo

Hey,

Me and my boyfriend just met 2 months ago, and we fell in love with each other. I am a guy as well, his dad recently found out his son's sexuality and isn't too happy with it so my boyfriend has to attend therapy with a counselor to basically turn him straight. His dad doesn't want us dating because he thinks all I want is sex...which isn't what I want. I've dated people my age but I just love this boy. I don't what to do, help me out please?:confused:

You only asked about dating but - the legal answer about what age you need to be for a sexual relationship depends on the State. It's a minimum age and in some States there cannot be a "large" age difference between the parties.

At 14 your boyfriend is legally under the control of his parents and at this point they get to determine who he dates, outside a sexual relationship.

They could have you arrested for custodial interference if you are told to stay away and do not.