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ttnozawa · Aug 13, 2008, 08:51 PM

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. We met when we were both 17 and have lived together for the past 3 years. When we met we were both virgins and it was both of our first time to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Now, as lots of my friends talk about dating, sleeping with different people, having fun being single, I feel like I am missing out on the single's life. I've only had experience with one man- the guy I am currently with- and feel like there might be something more or better out there. But I am scared to leave my boyfriend because I do love him a lot and I know that once we break up, we will not get back together. I've heard the grass is not greener on the other side, but how can I know for sure if I've never experienced for myself? Should I stay with him and be happy for a good relationship or should I break it off so I can experience different things? My fear is that I will leave him and realize that I made the biggest mistake of my life.

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 13, 2008, 09:15 PM

Then don't leave him. Why ruin a great thing to be selfish? Those single people that are bragging are mostly likely doing so to convince others that its great, but secretly covet a relationship such as yours.

The grass is NOT usually greener on the other side. But if you feel this is necessary then ask for a break to discover single life. If you don't want to hurt the relationship, then stay happy.

You know sometimes people talk about how awesome it is to be in college and live the college life, and sometimes I am jealous because I want to experience those college parties, dorm buddies, and events. But do I want to get rid of my dog, quit my job, sell my car, and get rid of my apartment to go to college for something that I can acquire through experience? NO!

Just think long and hard about the consequences of your actions.

Make a list of PROS and CONS.

strong__dan · Aug 13, 2008, 09:25 PM

I know dating lots of people to find the one is what a lot of people do!! But if you really love your boyfriend and know in your heart you don't want to leave him, I wouldn't. Maybe you found the one already!! Do what you want to do, don't do what your friends are doing!! If you love him so much and he treats you right why leave him, you might end up with someone way worse then you will regret it. It sounds like you love him, but if you didn't and things weren't working out then leave him but that doesn't sound like the case!! Good luck!

ISneezeFunny · Aug 13, 2008, 09:48 PM

Grass may seem greener on the other side... but you may find out that it's astroturf once you get there.

If you're happy with the relationship, then stay. However, from what you're saying, it doesn't really look like you're happy..

talaniman · Aug 13, 2008, 10:24 PM

The grass looks greener on the other side because they take good care of it. Take care of your own back yard, and it will be just as green, if not greener.

Life is what you make it for yourself, and those single people are looking for what you already have. They are still kissing frogs, and you have your prince already.

BetrayalBtCamp · Aug 13, 2008, 10:59 PM

If you have been together for 6 yrs, you're at the stage where it is likely to feel like a routine (meaning rut). That's par for the course. It doesn't have to stay that way though, you can have a lot of fun putting some excitement back into the relationship. And you're at the age where you are giving serious thought to what your life is like & what you want in it.

That may or may not include your boyfriend, but if it's been a good relationship so far, then there is still a lot of great potential there. Only you can determine if that is worth protecting or not. Maybe you just need to try some new things for yourelf & not just completely throw the baby out with the bathwater.

And asking your friends what they hate about being single may give you a more balanced picture of what that type life is like, & what it would be like for you if you do decide to go solo.

Good Luck!

HighandDryinnNy · Aug 13, 2008, 11:36 PM

Do you love him, or are you IN love with him
Big difference
Yeah the grass may not be greener on the other side, but how do you know if you never leave your backyard?
Do you want to spend the rest of your life regretting the lack of experience? And if so, does the relationship you have now make that regret seem trivial?
If you are in love with him, stay with him- good men are hard to come by(girls like you have them snatched up :) )
If you just love him because he has become dear to you, then I say don't settle. There is no bigger regret in life than settling. You don't know if your true love (or his) is right around the corner
You've been together for 6 yrs, talk to him. Find out how he feels as well. Better to open up a can of worms now and eventually be happy than live with regret, resent and bitterness

ChihuahuaMomma · Aug 13, 2008, 11:38 PM

That actually brings me to another point, if you leave him to explore what else is out there, are you going to be okay with him finding someone else?

Ana_ · Aug 14, 2008, 04:52 AM

I had a similar experience me and my ex were each others first everything, were together for 4 years and lived together for 2.. I started thinking that I was too young to be in such a serious relationship and wanted to see if there was someone else out there for me so I broke up with him..

Do you know what I found out.. there are a lot of a. holes out there!and when my friends would tell me how lucky me and my ex were to have such a perfect relationship the first time around I think I didn't really understand what they meant!lol.

I went out with the biggest jerk for a year after that who I fell madly in love with and he treated me like sh*t and it was the worst experience of my life it was just a rollercoaster of emotions the whole time as I was still not over my ex as well! But in all honesty I don't regret it because I learnt a lot about myself and relationships and matured (which is really what I was looking for the experience.. carefull what you wish for right).

But I don't think I was really in love with my ex (we are just friends now) and I have a new boyfriend now who is awesome and I'm really optimistic about our relationship! But if you are in love with your boyfriend my advice would be to stay because the grass is not always greener on the other side.. You might just find that you are looking for something you already have.. Well its your decision! Good luck :)

zawatska · Aug 14, 2008, 05:01 AM

I lost my virginity to the man I'm with right now, we've been together for 5 years and have been living together for about 3 years. It seems like everyday is the same, same routine and I just think you're bored. And you will always remember the man you lost your virginity to. Everyone here has answered your question, stay with him. If only he's good to you, and you love him and he loves you back.

Romefalls19 · Aug 14, 2008, 05:16 AM

Stay with him, the grass isn't greener on the other side, it's just how the sun reflects off your house onto their lawn. They are probably looking over at your lawn and relishing in the fact your lawn and house are so perfect together

HighandDryinnNy · Aug 14, 2008, 07:59 AM

Wow we really killed this 'grass is greener' metaphor, didn't we?

BetrayalBtCamp · Aug 14, 2008, 08:24 AM

Ok, can't resist this one... sometimes the grass is greener on the other side but only because it has been fed more manure.

A good point has been made that you may be bored. If that may be the case, see what might be something new you could do together to change the routine or try something you've put off doing for yourself.