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    lionesss062403's Avatar
    lionesss062403 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 9, 2008, 06:15 PM
    Relinquishing paternal rights for good reason
    I have been paying child support for 10 years now. The mother has refused to let me see my kids since they were a year old when she left me for another man. She keeps taking me back to court over and over again when she learns I may have a few more dollars in my pocket although she knows I have kept up with reporting any changes. The courts have been very much on her side to the point where the last time she put a petition out for me, she lied saying I had not paid since months before (payments were taken directly out of my paycheck) and the court allowed her to do this causing thousands in arrears that were already paid. I moved out of the state and got a job making significantly less money and had this states child support office send a petition/modification for child support. For no reason this petition was denied by the other state and child support is still standing at the pay I was making with the previous job. The court says they will make me pay it and that this states agency needed to stay out of it. So now since I haven't been able to see my kids in 9 years and she has taken every penny she could get her hands on over the years legally or illegally, I am tired of the games. I want to voluntarily terminate my parental rights. The kids don't know who I am and they won't until they are of age to contact me or I can pursue them without a problem. I have tried everything from directly dealing with it to lawyering up and still have no results. I don't have any other choice but to go this route because I don't even live in the same state anymore so it would be pointless to fight for visitation again. What do I do? Will a court allow me to TPR based on these reasons?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Aug 9, 2008, 06:34 PM
    Why can't you get the proof of your jobs making direct payments?
    Have you ever filed for custody/visitations rights with your kids?
    You can't terminate your rights and very most likely even if you somehow managed to do that you would still be held responsible for child support -especially arrears.
    You need to get a lawyer AND the proof of what you HAVE paid.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Aug 9, 2008, 08:10 PM
    NO,
    Even if you could * and you can't* give up your rights, you still have to pay support, rights and obligations are two separate things

    Sounds like you are not using an attorney, no you don't owe back for what you already paid, a new court appearance that you actually go to, with an attorney and present the evidence

    And to be honest she can't stop you from seeing the child, just like she takes you back to court for support you take them back for visits.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 10, 2008, 07:40 AM
    Unless there is more to this then your telling us, There is no way a court would block your access to your children. In your situation its not ideal for re-establishing visitation but it still can be done. How much distance is there between you and your children. How much are they taking for support ? Is it over the legal limit ? You need to go to court where this originated from and get ALL this taken care of.
    lionesss062403's Avatar
    lionesss062403 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 10, 2008, 02:20 PM
    To answer califdadof3: I live 9 1/2 hours away. The payment IS over the legal limit and I'm telling you, no matter what I've done to fix this, they have continuously messed it up. I was in court with her at the beginning of last year because of the amount being over limit. Judge had me paying the entire time of 4 months that SHE drew it out. Finally in the end they ended up giving me some money back. It lasted temporarily. She took me back again after that because she was not happy with their decision and lo-n-behold, I had just got a dollar raise. They felt they needed to add on another $400 a month. I was already paying close to $1000 a month for two kids. Man, I was only making $19/hr! Sounds like a lot but, where I lived I might as well have been making minimum wage. That's also the reason I had to move away to an area that was a little more affordable not to mention, I do have a family to take care of. Like I said before, she has gotten away with a LOT. I've been broke and barely making it ever since she started her BS and with lawyers and all, still get screwed. I'm to the point where I'm about to get ahold of the congressman of both states.

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