[zabardast]

Okay, I'll cut to the chase. I've been living in a resort town for the summer and we get a lot of immigrants. There's this girl from a European country who works at the same place as my mother. I'd seen her a few times during a month or so period but never spoke to her. I guess my mom and her hit it off pretty good and became friends. My mom invited her over one night without me knowing but I was pretty excited to get to meet her because she's very physically attractive. She was very friendly and over the night we talked a lot and played cards. I dropped her off later that night and she said she wanted to do something later that week and told me what her day off was. It was a few days from then. I actually ended up talking to her again at my mom's workplace (it's got wi-fi so my brother and I go in there quite a bit to use internet) the next day. I asked her if she wanted to go see The Dark Knight midnight showing and she said yes. It actually got called off because I later found out the theatre wasn't showing it until the next day. The next day I came to pick my mom up. My mom informed me that this girl was hungry so I asked her if she wanted to go get something to eat. She said yes. My brother was with me the whole time. She invited us over to her room and we played cards, talked and drank until 4 am. My brother and I left but we made plans for a boat ride on her day off. I saw her on that boat ride but was with my whole family so this wasn't exactly anything fun. She still wanted to hang out, though. After she ate food with my family the day was going awkward. My brother insisted on hanging with us. I ended up dropping him off later and we got some alone time. We were walking and eventually we made it to a bench with a nice view of the Great Lakes and the Mackinaw Bridge. The moon was out and it was quite romantic. I was nervous and it took me some time to kiss her. She kissed me back strongly and one thing led to another and we ended up making out at her room and later having sex.

Okay, I wasn't intending on making this so long so I'll try to wrap it up. Basically, she's been acting funny and it's hard to find out what's going on. I saw her the next day and she was acting strangely cold and distant. I had a feeling she was feeling bad about sleeping with me on the first date. There's also the fact that she's leaving back to Poland in September and I have college as well. Apparently she just broke up with a boyfriend after 5 years as well. I kept my distance from her for a few days sensing something was wrong and then a few days later she told me she just wanted to be friends and wasn't looking for a boyfriend.

I told her that was fine and we ended up swimming and I dropped her off. I was actually a little bit more upset than I let on, though. I ended up writing a letter telling her I was upset with her for leading me on and I told her I was a virgin and she pushed for sex more than I did. I wasn't mean or nasty but I said I wasn't interested in being friends, it was too weird.

That was about a week ago. My mom and sister are still close with her. It was her birthday I guess and they insisted on getting her a present. My sister dropped it off and they made plans for that night. I wasn't intending on doing anything with them but there's only one car and basically my brother and I ended up hanging with them. I was pretty cold and left early. I sent a text saying simply good night and have fun and she replied saying she wanted to talk. I called her and apologized for ignoring her and she asked me if I wanted to hang with her the next day and that she wanted to talk with me. I asked what she wanted to talk about and she said, "you know".

That day came and nothing happened, we just hang out (her, me, her roommate, my brother and sis) and it was boring and basically I'm confused. I sent her a text saying I thought she wanted to talk and got no reply. She was tired though from working all day but I'm confused. I thought she wanted to talk about the whole thing?

Basically, what the heck is going on? Is it salvageable? Is she still interested in me? Should I just let go? If I have to let go, how do I let go and still hold my head up high?

Thanks in advanced.

[KissMe10der]

You really need to think of it logically... She is going back to poland. And your going to college. Do you really want to stay with someone who is going to another country?

As for losing your virginity, do you feel guilty that you aren't together and had sex?

I was told once after I went to work crying after a one night stand... Cause I felt guilty and stupid. That most people have had at least one, whether they admit it or not. I don't know that kind of made me feel not so bad, that I wasent horrable. It was a mistake.

[zabardast]

You really need to think of it logically... She is going back to poland. And your going to college. Do you really want to stay with someone who is going to another country?

It's an obstacle but we could try to make it work...

As for losing your virginity, do you feel guilty that you aren't together and had sex?

I don't really feel much guilt. More like disappointment. If I was after a one night stand I could have done that a long time ago. I'm probably more guilty admitting to her I was a virgin.

I was told once after I went to work crying after a one night stand... Cause I felt guilty and stupid. That most people have had at least one, whether they admit it or not. I don't know that kind of made me feel not so bad, that I wasent horrable. It was a mistake.

I feel a little stupid. Almost makes me want to just find a rebound chick just to spite her or something.

[KissMe10der]

Rebounds hurt you more in the end.

[Romefalls19]

Distance will be far to great for an already problem plagued relationship

[JBeaucaire]

It's you I'm disappointed in. You actually wrote a girl a letter making her feel bad for having sex with you on the first date? I know that wasn't the POINT of the letter, but it is what you did, isn't it?

I'm very disappointed. A gentleman always takes responsibility for himself. Unless you were raped by this girl, you had sex with her. You did that. Who wanted it more is not only irrelevant, it's a bit rude at this point. To put something like that on her head is not the least bit noble.

Don't do that, don't ever do that to a girl ever again, OK? Yes, there's such a thing as honestly sharing your feelings, but feelings aren't TRUTH, they are just feelings. And some feelings/thoughts should not be shared, especially if they are ignoble. You can do better than that next time and I expect you will, yes?

In a nutshell, you liked her, she liked you, had a whirlwind first date and slept together. That's just chemistry and the plumbing working the way it's supposed to. That night was not indicative of anything real, it was purely romantic. So, let it be a great memory of your "first time". Let it be good.

Does she like you? Of course. But so what? She's leaving in a few weeks and you're getting all puppy-dog, and to what end? She doesn't want a boyfriend, especially not one thousands of miles away.

Let her know you appreciate your night together, but it is what it is and nothing more. THANK her for a wonderful "first time" and apologize for the letter. Let her know you're looking forward to spending whatever time you can with her this summer, and you promise not to be "weird" since you know she's leaving in September.

Then honor that, have a great summer with her.

[zabardast]

It's you I'm disappointed in. You actually wrote a girl a letter making her feel bad for having sex with you on the first date? I know that wasn't the POINT of the letter, but it is what you did, isn't it?

No, I just assumed she was feeling bad for having sex on the first date. I didn't want her to feel bad.

I'm very disappointed. A gentleman always takes responsibility for himself. Unless you were raped by this girl, you had sex with her. You did that. Who wanted it more is not only irrelevant, it's a bit rude at this point. To put something like that on her head is not the least bit noble.

Don't do that, don't ever do that to a girl ever again, OK? Yes, there's such a thing as honestly sharing your feelings, but feelings aren't TRUTH, they are just feelings. And some feelings/thoughts should not be shared, especially if they are ignoble. You can do better than that next time and I expect you will, yes?

In a nutshell, you liked her, she liked you, had a whirlwind first date and slept together. That's just chemistry and the plumbing working the way it's supposed to. That night was not indicative of anything real, it was purely romantic. So, let it be a great memory of your "first time". Let it be good.

Does she like you? Of course. But so what? She's leaving in a few weeks and you're getting all puppy-dog, and to what end? She doesn't want a boyfriend, especially not one thousands of miles away.

Let her know you appreciate your night together, but it is what it is and nothing more. THANK her for a wonderful "first time" and apologize for the letter. Let her know you're looking forward to spending whatever time you can with her this summer, and you promise not to be "weird" since you know she's leaving in September.

Then honor that, have a great summer with her.

I think you are right. I'll try to do what you said. Thanks.

[talaniman]

Grow up, and appreciate the memory, and leave it at that. There is no relationship, just one good time. Cherish it, and respect her.

[babygurl1977]

Take into consideration that she is leaving and where is that going to leave you? Solo! So just think of the good times you both had and leave it at that. Just being friends makes more sense in this case. Good luck