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993099142 · Jul 17, 2008, 06:55 AM

This man is honest and has never been known to lie to me, he cares deeply about the welfare of every stranger that he meets, is very loving, humble, faithful, and has am incredible work ethic. He is also devoutly religious and willing to sacrifice anything for His God. He is also incredibly wise.

Well, he knew I kind of liked him, and he sat next to me on the couch and he started holding my hand and we would cuddle. He's done this twice, but he says he's not my boyfriend. Just about everyone says he can attract a girl that is better looking, smarter, more hardworking, and has better morals than me and I don't think he is ready to settle down with me.

He's never kissed me before, and he started placing his hands near my breasts... and I didn't know if it was because he wanted to make out with me or if it's because he wanted to sleep with me... Also, I am confused, because he has always been sensitive and compassionate and loving... Should I trust him that he won't go too far if I let him touch me?

N0help4u · Jul 17, 2008, 09:00 AM

I wouldn't trust him. He most likely is lonely in the hugs and cuddles department and just wants somebody that can 'fix' that for him temporarily.

Romefalls19 · Jul 17, 2008, 09:07 AM

I agree N0help... He sounds like he's just missing the companionship

JBeaucaire · Jul 17, 2008, 09:13 AM

I disagree with the posts above.

A man like this you can CERTAINLY talk about this uncomfortable subject with, can't you? I know it will feel weird to ask the questions, but that's no reason not to ask.

"I'm starting to feel physically attracted to you and wonder if you are feeling the same?"

"I'd like to talk about what you think is appropriate and not in physical interaction for unmarried people?"

"Will you kiss me, please? I can't wait another moment!"

"If we move to this level in our relationship, would we be considered dating exclusively?"

If he's as great as you say, your question(s) will be momentarily startling, then he will be relieved as you are to get to ease the tension and actually KNOW the answers to these things... he's curious, too.

And BTW, great lovers can talk to each other about anything. Shake off the awkwardness and talk.

N0help4u · Jul 17, 2008, 09:33 AM

I am not saying don't be his friend but just proceed with caution until you are sure of his intentions and the direction the relationship is going.

993099142 · Jul 17, 2008, 09:38 AM

Yeah, I don't know what to think... Like I really want him to touch me, but he never wants to see me!! And a fortune teller told me that I would have to wait and that if I rushed things it would create problems for me later on.

N0help4u · Jul 17, 2008, 09:41 AM

When you rush things it can create bigger problems later. Me and my boyfriend each still have consequences from decisions we made with our ex's 20 yrs ago and they are not good at all.
If he really cares there should be ways to find out by talking. His touching to see how far he can get is not a good way to base a relationship on.

talaniman · Jul 17, 2008, 08:14 PM

EDITTED LINK<https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2986398

Should I trust him that he won't go too far if I let him touch me?

NO!

ylaira · Jul 17, 2008, 08:24 PM

FROM MY OTHER POST: Never let yourself be taken advantage. Leave a self respect. Anyway, if he had sex with you its not an assurance he'll develop some feelings right after. Save yourself from heartache. ITS BETTER TO BE UNATTACHED THAN BE USED. Want to be his penis' comfort?

You're from Harvard so I assume you are a bright person to know this.

993099142 · Jul 19, 2008, 06:04 PM

Eww... that's pretty graphic.

Chery · Jul 19, 2008, 06:21 PM

What is your and his age-group?

How long have you known him and where did you meet?

As JB said - shake off the awkwardness and talk to him, the sooner the better, but I'd do it in a neutral place, such as a park or coffee-shop.

I'll be just as graphic as ylaira.. I'm sure you've heard of the 'wolf in sheep's clothing'...

It's your choice, but do you really know all you need to know about this guy? He just might be a great actor around other people and a jerk when alone with you, so please be careful. Roaming hands and no endearing conversation leave me suspicious.

This crush you have just might crush you if you are not careful and he should respect you enough to let you know his intentions with more than just his hands all over you.

ylaira · Jul 20, 2008, 12:44 AM

I didn't read all your posts, but I will say the same thing over and over about this guy.