[Hitch21]

Okay, so , my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now, things have always been good. He may have lied to me about really small things. And then I found out he lied to me about where he was going a couple times. His excuse was that he didn't want me complaing or nagging.
Well, things have been a bit rough lately, arguing not understanding each other, and today after a long week of arguin, he told me that he wants to make things better and start new and how much he cares for me.
He told me he's going out to some family event. I don't know why but I just have a feeling he's not. I don't know if its because of this past week and all the stress and pain I was in. and I'm still not completely okay. And because I miss him and wanted to go out with him tonight.
I don't know, how can I start trusting him again? Is it asking much or being pushy if I ask him to somehow show me proof, what can I do or say to him.
I want to tell him how I feel about the trust issue, how can I bring it up without upsetting him and starting another argument. How and in what ways can we discuss on trusting each other again.

[Bluerose]

Hitch21,

I could be wrong but to me it sounds like you have trust issues. You need to focus on what is exactly going on and not so much on what you think might be going on. You will drive him away. Or may simply cause him to lie to you to avoid a row.

[Skell]

You definitely have trust issues Hitch and with them it is near impossible to have a healthy relationship. Going by this and your other posts you seem very clingy and desperate for his attention. You pus and push and push. You need to have your own life as well just as he does. If you don't trust him then why are you with him. If you love him you need to trust him. Anything less is your problem not his.

Do you think he is cheating on you?

[Hitch21]

I don't think he is cheating on me. We were supposed to han gout today but he didn't call me back.. and he didn't pick up when I called.. so I don't know how its my problem.
Is it too much to ask for, just for him to call and give me some attentnion...
I'm not going to call until he does I guess.I don't want to be pushy... but I don't think I'm asking for much

[Skell]

Well if what you are saying is true and this is a common thing then why are you with him? You don't sound happy. You don't trust him. He doesn't pay you any attention. Why are you with him?

Either he is a jerk who isn't worth being with or you are over bearing and pushy? Ill give you the benefit of the doubt and blame him. In which case my advice would be to dump him because it doesn't seem like he is very interested in you.

[Hitch21]

I don't know, I love him and he loves me... and this is the only time this has ever happened.. . idk

[Skell]

Well if that is the case why can't the two of you sit down and talk about this? If you are two people in love you should be able to sit down and have an honest discussion about your concerns.

I think deep down you do think he is cheating on you. Am I right?? Has his behaviour changed dramatically lately. You say it has never been like this before. Is there any reason you can think of why now?


Im not one for hanging innocent men but reading all your posts its almost like you think he may be cheating but are afraid to admit it.

It just doesn't make sense to me. You sound so sad and upset about all of this yet you appear as though you haven't really sat down and had a proper conversation with him. Why not?? Is it because he refuses to?

He certainly isn't acting like he loves you is he?

[talaniman]

I don't think your ready for a healthy mature relationship right now and urge you to allow yourself to grow up a bit more. All your post have the same concerns and that's about him doing whatever, and no proof of anything. Deal with your own issues and stop projecting them on him.

[sweetann_32]

Trust and communication are some of the main ingredients of a good relationship. When you love someone you become apart of each other, and when one deceived you and there is proof there isn't much you can do now. The greatest thing is to know and at times. Ladies, at times we need to let them know that we are aware of what they do, talk to them about the situation and watch what comes next. If he really cares and respect the relationship then things should be looking brighter. But if it continues, then we need to be strong and move on, it won't be easy after loving your partner with your all. Every man and woman wants a good man/woman in their life, but not every man/woman knows how to keep one.