[sur13]

Im a sophomore at my high school, I go to a gym and workout, I like to think as myself as a guy who doesn't let people get to him, people say stuff to me that I just find stupid and I don't really say anything, so people find me soft, but I workout, and I know I'm not a weak person. I know in my head that if someone were to try me I am able to knock someone out. Yet people still have the image of me as a ''soft'' guy. Other people get that I dea into my girlfriends's head so she doesn't think that I would defend her if I ever had to, and I know that I would because I care about her a lot, so I don't know what I have to do so people don't think that, I'm not the type of person who get into fight for stupid stuff, I'm not going to get suspended for something stupid and mess up my school year.

[N0help4u]

You are thinking level headed while they are thinking speculations that may never happen.
Tell them you like dealing with things when the time comes and you just might surprise them some day so don't assume anything.

[mimi03]

I have an 18 year old brother who had this problem during his first couple of years in high school.

Your peers may see something in you that they wish they could obtain... personality, intellect, even your girlfriend (it could be anything)! Teenagers often find someone to pick on to make themselves feel better when they are down because they don't have other outlets.

Just try to stay positive, ignore the comments until they become more. Don't feed into them with arguments, let them see that they aren't worth a second thought!
If it's a particular group, try to keep your distance by not sitting near them in class etc. (if possible).

Finally, If your girlfriend takes what others are saying about you as true then she's not that great of a girlfriend, sorry.

Good luck!

[DoulaLC]

You are showing a good deal of maturity at an age when many just aren't there yet... some will never get there.
Stand your ground, be true to what you feel is the right way to handle things. It's unfortunate that many feel the need to have some sort of tough guy image, show some sort of bravado. It's partly the age.. hormones are at an all time high, but it is also the image that is often portrayed and perpetuated. It can make it difficult, as you have seen, for those teens who have different priorities for themselves and their lives.

[Andrew916]

Take comfort in the fact that you know that you can defend yourself and your girlfriend. I'm not saying you should go out and fight someone to prove it, but there are ways you can show her you're strong enough to do what is necessary- and do it good. I'm sure that your gym has pressure pads that sense how much force you exert on them. You punch it and it shows how much force there is. That should help prove it and give your girlfriend some peace of mind. As for the others- if they mess with you physically- show them...

[bushg]

Hi sur13 You sound a lot like my son. He had the same problem. He played football, baseball, worked out. He did not belittle people treated his girlfriend with respect and did not engage in the smut talk and ignored idiots as much as possible and he was often called "soft." He told me that most of the time he ignored it, but then a certain guy would tell him he could crush him would throw popcorn etc at him in the hall ways. My son got the boy off to himself and told him its me and you, you want to go, lets do it or stop running your mouth... problem sloved. From that day forward he said when the boy wanted to start running his mouth he would look at him and say "anytime"... the boy eventually backed off and shut up.

He would be told he was stupid and not smarter than the rest of the kids in his advanced placement classes. He said everyday there was some fool that wanted to mess with you whether it was the local drug dealer, gangster, emo, jock etc... He said if you chose to address everyone that said something to you you would be in a fight almost everyday. Like you he did not want to be in trouble at school and did not want to be suspended so he ignored a lot.

My son graduated with one of the highest awards that the school offered, it was a fully paid college tution based on attitude, community service and grades.
Everyone or every school can not offer such an award. But you keep your eye on the prize being a good person and getting a good education and ignore the rest of the crap as much as possible. You will be awarded with so much more than the loud mouthed, ill tempered people. You'll leave them in the dust just like my son did.

Attitude is everything, keep your head up, look them in the eyes and smile. You know you can take care of business if you have to, that is all that matters you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If your girlfriend doesn't understand that then maybe she is not worthy of you. Good luck, I know there will be times when it will get you down... just get on here and chat with us or talk to a trusted friend, teacher or parent.




Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
And remember what peace there may be in silence.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
And listen to others,
Even the dull and the ignorant;
They too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
They are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
You may become vain and bitter;
For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.


Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
For the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals;
And everywhere life is full of heroism.



Neither be cynical about love;
For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
Gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
Be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe,
No less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
And whether it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
Whatever you conceive Him to be,
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
In the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
It is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

[erin7799]

When you are in your 20's and reaching 30 you're going to look back on your high school years and a whole lot of the people who looked better than you or thought they were tougher than you aren't going to matter to you in your life. I understand that you feel this way now, but ultimately in the end it's not going to matter. You'll end up being the better person in the long run. Keep up what you're doing. And it's awesome that you have the mind frame that you're not going to put yourself in the position to fight. It gets you nowhere but into trouble.