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katie609 · Jul 15, 2008, 06:06 PM

Okay so yeaah I guess I'm "too young to be in love" whatever whatever but I really really have liked this kid since like well in 8th grade and we went out for quite awhile and I don't know what I was thinking, but I broke up with him a few months after we started going out. I had a lot going on and everything it was just tough. But I've still always liked him. Weird I know. I lost 2 best friends because of this kid and I went through so much to get him and I just dumped him like that.
"if you love somone, let them go. if they return to you it was meant to be" right?
Well hopefully.
Anyway he's had several girlfriends since I had broken up with him and now I'm a sophomore in high school and we've tried to "just be friends" but we just have to many feelings for each other I guess? He almost cheated on his girlfriend with me once but I wouldn't let him
So now he's single and he's coming back to me he won't stop texting me and he well.. wants to hang out. I still have strong feelings for him even though we haven't really hung out in awhile but it seems like the only thing he wants is to... do "stuff" if you know what I mean?
I don't want to be his rebound girl I want him to genuinly like me not just want to hang out with me to get down my pants you know?
I know some answers are going to say noo he's not worth it. But that's not a good enough answer
Please just give me advice because I feel like the only way to keep him around is to do "stuff" with him because I really like him and I'm scared he doesn't feel the same way:confused:

soccerchick28 · Jul 15, 2008, 06:30 PM

What you need to do is sit down and have a talk with this guy and see where you both stand. Straight up ask him do you like me for me or just for the sex. The truth might hurt, but it will help you a lot in the long run. If he genuinely likes you, go out with him. If he just wants you for sex, kick him to the curve. You are a classy lady and deserves more respect.The only way he thinks he can get away with it is if you let him think he can.
I know this will take a lot of courage and guts to do, but it will pay off later :D
Good Luck!!

Soccerchick28 :)

smokedetector · Jul 15, 2008, 06:45 PM

You have to decide if YOU want to let ANYBODY in your pants right now, and if you don't, then don't go changing your values and standards for any man. That's something you control, and if you let someone take it just because they want it, why would they respect you afterwords? You want him to respect you, so don't let him pick the fruits, you hand them to him if and when YOU are ready.

liz28 · Jul 15, 2008, 06:55 PM

It seems that this guy wants sex since you stated that he only wants to do "stuff" and it don't seems like the movies or anything similar.

If that's all he wants then you don't need or should'nt want him. Cherish yourself more and set aside your feelings for him.

You can have a talk with to confirm what he wants from you but actions speak louder than words and if that's what he's requested from you then your not only his rebound girl but plaything. You deserve more and these type of guys you should stay away from.

You should focus on having fun with friends and school, and not sex. Sex can lead to a lot of problems that you might not be ready for. If you do decide to have a boyfriend make sure he wants other things besides this.

Remember your body is your temple and you must protect it and respect it, otherwise; no one else will.

katie609 · Jul 15, 2008, 07:08 PM

Thank you guys for your awesome advice but since I haven't hung out with him in awhile I feel like the only way to get closer to him is not necessarily through sex but other things like it

smokedetector · Jul 15, 2008, 07:37 PM

What do you mean "other things like it?" Like oral sex? Which base are we talking here?

katie609 · Jul 15, 2008, 07:45 PM

You

liz28 · Jul 15, 2008, 07:54 PM

Why would you want to do that? You should'nt do neither . Is that what you want t be with this guy his personal sex toy?

soccerchick28 · Jul 16, 2008, 09:02 AM

It is not worth it!! If he really truly liked you he would respect your body and your values.

smokedetector · Jul 16, 2008, 09:17 AM

Well my original advice stands. I view oral sex the same as real sex in this situation. It is completely up to you. Your decision. Don't let him influence it. Be your own woman and decide on your ideals, values, etc. regardless of who wants you do what. Good luck.

katie609 · Jul 17, 2008, 12:07 PM

Yeah well he freaking texts me right and he's like I don't want to do anything with you anymore. I didn't even know what to say to it, I just said okay. But I find out the reason why is cause he's hooking up with 3 other girls!

smokedetector · Jul 17, 2008, 12:56 PM

Well hey, view it as a learning experience. If a guy isn't OK with being with you without sex, then that's likely all he really DOES want. My advice for the future: take a while to get to know the guy and for him to get to know you without anything sexual going on. If he can see past his... uh... manly desires... and like you for you and not what you can do for him, then he just might be worth it.

N0help4u · Jul 17, 2008, 01:40 PM

So you liked each other before but it was wrong time, too young, etc...
Now you are older and have another chance. Tell him that you want the old him that you felt comfortable with and you want to know him and build a real relationship. That you can have a lust relationship a dime a dozen but that is not what you want so if he is really interested he will take the relationship in the right direction.

kcgirl25 · Jul 17, 2008, 02:06 PM

I believe if you really like this guy, then it's worth a shot to try and DATE again! If you want to hang out with him then do it, but don't give him "stuff", make him wait, if he's not willing to wait for "stuff" then he's not worth it, and that proves to you that all he wants you for is sex!

liz28 · Jul 17, 2008, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by katie609

ok it seems like the only thing he wants is to...do "stuff" if you know what i mean?

i want him to genuinly like me not just want to hang out with me to get down my pants ya know?

i feel like the only way to keep him around is to do "stuff" with him because i really like him and im scared he doesnt feel the same way:confused:

Its clear that all he wants is sex. If you think engaging in any sexual activities will make him want to be with you or make him stay around your wrong. He'll only be there for this reason only until he move on. Try not to have sex of any kind with him and see how long or if he would want to be with you. Don't sell yourself short because it seems that this guy wants you only as an booty call and you should never what to be that to no one.

liz28 · Jul 17, 2008, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by katie609

yeah well he freaking texts me right and hes like i dont want to do anything with you anymore. i didnt even know what to say to it, i just said okay. but i find out the reason why is cause hes hooking up with 3 other girls!

This guy was bad news and its good he out of your hair but I wish you would have made that decision. Never put someone else needs before your because your never get what you want and doing something to please that person will not keep them but make them think less of you. He told you what he wanted from the beginning even if he did not do it verbually but his actions prove it.

sadgirl123 · Jul 21, 2008, 12:21 AM

Talk with the guy and ask him if he wants you for you or is he just want the sex. No guy will admit what he truly wants but if he says he likes you, don't let your brain think, or your heart will sink. Just listen to heart, if it tells you to get back with him, do that and hope for no regrets. Otherwise tell him that you like him too but is just not willing to get in a relationship with him. Hope my advice works!! :)

katie609 · Jul 21, 2008, 08:54 AM

Yeah seriously thank you everyone your advice really helped me a lot :)