[oodarkman]

Okay, I've been married for 6years and in all that time I've been unable to climax frm oral sex. My wife tries Very hard to please me but its just not happening and now I'm starting to not feel much even during sex I find that I offten have to force myself to orgasm so that it doesn't just go on for ever when we first got together I was a Vergin and when we first had sex I didn'tfeel much then either but over time it got better
But now it seems t be getting worse then before and I can tell that its starting to effect her as well

Any advice would be helpful

[starbuck8]

Do you have any problems with normal penetration and having an orgasm? If not, there may be something phychological, or even physical going on. Do you hold yourself back, thinking that you are going to disappoint her? It might be something going on in the back of your mind, since you were a virgin when you married, that makes you feel uncomfortable, and then unable to have an orgasm. Are you totally relaxed during oral sex? or are you worried that you might not please her by not climaxing.

There could be many things happening. I would suggest talking to your wife about this, if you haven't already. You could try different idea's in the bedroom that excite you also. If that still doesn't work, I would start with asking you family Dr.

[oodarkman]

Thanks for responding
And yes I can climax during intercorse I must admit that at times I have to kind of make it happen because in the past for a while she would be done and would still be kind of stuck out there and that would ake her fill unskilled or just unable to please me and when it comes to a fear of not being able to please her that's not really an issue you could say that in our relationship she's kind of like the Guy would tipiclly be she has hers and then falls to sleep:) Because of My medical trainning I'm kind of well verse with how tko make the body go crazy I think she kind of likes that about me hehehe but all jokes aside I want to be able to enjoy these times with her and I find myself more in the I'm not sure if I felt anything mindset Medicly I have hd an ongoing thingfor soe years where I get sick if I don't ejaculate andsome times if I go with out for a while do to family stuff or biz trips or what ever when we do have sex the orgasm for me is qite painful

So yeah that's where I'm at
Any idea what could be causing these tings? And How do I deal with them?

[Romefalls19]

You may want to talk to a professional about this as it could be something you are doing to yourself inside your own head without you really knowing you are doing it

[talaniman]

Medicly I have hd an ongoing thingfor soe years where I get sick if I don't ejaculate andsome times if I go with out for a while do to family stuff or biz trips or what ever when we do have sex the orgasm for me is qite painful

See a doctor for your problem. Why suffer?

[Choux]

Initially, it sounds to me like you have no passion for sexuality with your wife. Now, what is the cause of this lack of feeling and desire?

There are many reasons this could happen. Common problems are caused by negative religious attitudes toward sex. Or, lack of passion for your partner. Or, history of porn/masturbation addiction. Or, psychological blocking due to homosexuality or some other reason. Or, medical problem. Or, neurosis... and so on.

So, you have to go to your physician who may refer you to a urologist to check out your equipment... or to a therapist so you can talk about your deep attitudes toward sex.

[oodarkman]

Hello Choux,
Well I've been told that because I have somewhat of an over production problem
That as I get older it may effect me. But the only things I;ve noticed is that if I don't ejaculate offten enough I will staet throwing up and I start cramping majorly
I've been to a few doctors and they say that there isn't anythign really wrong with me except that I need to try not to go for long periods with out releaf
But my bodies been this way sense I was 18/19 and kind of got worse or more intense
When I was about 27
Something else I've been dealing with is that for no reason at all I will become errect and stay that way for about 2hrs witch to be honest can be somewhat painful

And although from time to time I will handel it myself I really would rather not

[Choux]

One of my brothers had that kind of problem. He would have an erection for four hours. Unfortunately, I didn't ask him what he did about that.

A man, in my opinion, should have an ejaculation a day. The stats on prostate cancer indicate that there is a big tie in to lack of ejaculations and prostate cancer. I think you are just going to have to force yourself.

So, is it lack of passion for your wife and her sexual skills?

If so, you two are going to have to work together under the supervision of a sex therapist, no?

[talaniman]

If you know what the problem is, then make some adjustments to your sex life that allows for fun, but gets you off. Start with oral, and finish with another technique.