[qetuo]

Hi everyone... its been around 3 months since the major turmoil in my life... after she left me... now I feel that my life has no purpose and I don't have the inspiration in my life to do anything... its like I am blindly hoping she might return... but that's a very blind hope... I know it... now I have nothing left in my life... when she was there I saw the whole world and my life in her and now when she's gone I am unable to find anything else in my life... nothing interests me... there's no purpose left in my life to live... its been 7 yrs and I ve thought of only her and being with her... I recently decided to join for work... but the work place is 150 kms away from home and I have no many friends in that place... I feel like the world has shrunk into just my memories and pain... I still love her more than anything...
I lost control over myself when she broke up and started texting her a lot... that irritated her a lot... and yesterday she had called me up and convinced me that its over and we need to lead our own lives... she said I want you to live happily and even I ll live happily and told me not to interfere in her life... and if I continue to contact her,she would inform her parents...

I was totally immersed in her when she was there... the thing is she's very enthusiastic and has great dreams for her life... she always is in her quest for excellence and success... it inspired me a lot to be like that... but now when she's not there... there's simply no inspiration left in my life... I have no dreams of my own... the only dream I had till now is to make her dreams come true... I m finding it very difficult to live... its become a aimless and dreamless life... I used to be enthusiaitic and was searching for excellence just because she was there...

Those 7 yrs feel like my true life and the earlier life seems like just a dream and I'm totally lost... please help me... suggest me what to do... I m despo for a solace... I feel like dying sometimes...

[Chery]

Sorry to hear that you are suffering so, but it's of your own doing. One should never, ever place anyone else in the center of our universe. Being clingy and needy is not an attractive trait and will turn any girl off. So what have you learned from this? And what are you going to do now besides staying on the pitty-pot?

GET A LIFE. Read the first four stickies in the relationships section and finally realize that you are not the only one and that life does go on. There is more to life than just being there and living for one individual. Set yourself some realistic educational and career goals and start your healing process. Relocate and/or change the décor of your place so that you won't be constantly reminded of your weaknesses. Change music, literature and routines and find a new set of friends and events to partake in. Quit your crying!

FACT - you are not going to get her back. FACT - you can only control your own life and not what another person is going to do. FACT - there are millions of us this has happened to and we have all survived, so wake up and start living your own life.

Let us know, besides being obsessed with this girl, what other plans you had in your life before you met her and start setting new goals in life.

We all know it hurts like heck, but we also know we will get over it eventually... TIME is what we need now to heal and get self-respect and perspectives back.

The sooner you start, the better.

So, now do some reading, then come back on here to vent, get angry, get sad, get mad, and get up and start taking those steps to heal.

I promise, it will work... but it will take time.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

[Guidostern]

You definitely want to listen to Chery... she knows what she is talking about...

We all understand that breakups are hard... not only emotionally, but physically. I'm not sure what you really like to do in your spare time, but think about working out, making new friends, or even catching up with the friends you've lost contact with. It's always good to get an outside perspective on things.

I know you say that you don't think life is worth living without her, but just think about this... would life have been worth living 7 years ago without her? It's hard, but you'll have to find that part of yourself that you lost during the past 7 years. Take some time and just stay focused on you. Like Chery says, it will take time... but it will work. No one person is worth putting yourself through the agony of questioning how much your life is worth... this may not make sense right now, but it will. I'm sure that you're a great person, even without her in your life if that's how it's got to be.

Everyone is here to help, and we've all been through bad breakups, near misses, and I'm sure that more than one of us have felt this way... Don't be afraid to ask questions... someone will have an answer, or at least try to answer it the best we can.

Good luck, and keep us in the loop...

[talaniman]

Sorry to hear that you are suffering so, but it's of your own doing. One should never, ever place anyone else in the center of our universe. Being clingy and needy is not an attractive trait and will turn any girl off. So what have you learned from this? and what are you going to do now besides staying on the pitty-pot?

GET A LIFE. Read the first four stickies in the relationships section and finally realize that you are not the only one and that life does go on. There is more to life than just being there and living for one individual. Set yourself some realistic educational and career goals and start your healing process. Relocate and/or change the decor of your place so that you won't be constantly reminded of your weaknesses. Change music, literature and routines and find a new set of friends and events to partake in. Quit your crying!

FACT - you are not going to get her back. FACT - you can only control your own life and not what another person is going to do. FACT - there are millions of us this has happend to and we have all survived, so wake up and start living your own life.

Let us know, besides being obsessed with this girl, what other plans you had in your life before you met her and start setting new goals in life.

We all know it hurts like heck, but we also know we will get over it eventually... TIME is what we need now to heal and get self-respect and perspectives back.

The sooner you start, the better.

So, now do some reading, then come back on here to vent, get angry, get sad, get mad, and get up and start taking those steps to heal.

I promise, it will work... but it will take time.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

Nothing to add to this excellent, to the point post. Better take heed, dude

[qetuo]

Thanks a lot friends...
I will try to grasp what all you told me...
I miss her a lot... she's somewat become an integral part of my character,my personality... so my mere existence is somewhat of a reminiscence and constant reminder of her... she's so integrated into my mind that even to this day I think of her every second... I feel like she's mine... and I can't think of anyone taking my place.. it hurts me a lot...
I seriously thought of ending my life a few times but looking at my parents I stopped myself..
I feel nothing's left at all in my life.. we studied together for many years... so what ever I have learnt becomes a reminder of her... there's no way I can be without her...

I have committed some mistakes when we were together... not that they cost me this breakup but I remember them and regret them each and everyday... I ve lost total interest in life... nothing's left now...

I'm constantly praying for her to come back... but I know that's impossible for she's moved on in life...

[talaniman]

... there's no way I can be without her...

Cheer up, as bad as it is its part of the growing and learning process and will shape you down the road. Hope you enjoyed the experience you shared, and realize that its up to you alone to continue on. As Chery has said, review the stickies here, and you will gain some good insights that are sure to help. Trust me, you are not alone, we have all been through the heartbreak of a failed relationship. Some of us a few times.

[Applejacks83irv]

Hey man I feel you on the 7 year plan and stuff? But it will get better! You need to go and keep yourself bizzy like work out it helps! A lot!. dame I feel you so bad man but you need to move and keep moving! Right now she broke up with you cause of so many reason that she was looking for?. and in time you will see? The truth always flots up to the top! So go out chill with family and friends? But really you should take that piss off mad engery! And use it out on the gym! And you start to see! There to many girl out there that what you want, I tell you the frist lay you have going to suck! Cause you feel like your cheating but its cool!. what do you think she doing? She dating around F-in around being the ho she want to be before she get old and want to start a family and all that sh!t! Your going to lean of this world and it suck sometimes but there are still angels out there that want to be save! Whatch home! Eavrything will favor in you! But for now go work out and do it hard! Run lift weights get sexy and leave that girl alone and let her wonder about you!

[qetuo]

Worst part is I never made friends because I had her... now I'm out of college and I have no body else in my life but a few people... I ve lost everything including her... she's moved on well... she's happy...
And recently I got diagonised for high levels of anxiety... my life will never be happier again I guess...

[talaniman]

Wrong! As you start taking better care of you, your life will get better. If you put the time, and energy, you put into her being happy, into building a life you enjoy, it shouldn't take long to be happy with yourself.