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    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #1

    Jun 23, 2008, 02:14 PM
    My ex fiancés stuff
    My fiancé left on vacation and asked me to hold onto to some of his stuff. I told him I could and then 3 weeks into his 6 week vacation he dumped me. I have given him 72 hrs to have someone pick up his stuff but he has not. Can I throw it out? There was no money involved in this nor a written contract.
    progunr's Avatar
    progunr Posts: 1,971, Reputation: 288
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    #2

    Jun 23, 2008, 02:17 PM
    Boy, where did you find that winner?

    He's not even smart enough to come get his stuff, and then break up with you?

    I say you can do with it as you please, he is the one who abandoned it there.
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #3

    Jun 23, 2008, 02:28 PM
    When my best friend got mad at an ex-friend-with-benefits, she took his bag of stuff, put it under the tire of my car and told me to run over it. I did. A few times. Maybe 5 times. The crunching noise sounded great! She got great satisfaction from that.

    He left his stuff at her house so basically, it was hers right?

    Tee hee hee...
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Jun 23, 2008, 03:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chrissymarie
    My fiance left on vacation and asked me to hold onto to some of his stuff. I told him I could and then 3 weeks into his 6 week vacation he dumped me. I have given him 72 hrs to have someone pick up his stuff but he has not. Can i throw it out? There was no money involved in this nor a written contract.

    Money or no money it's a bailment, however casual, and it could very well end up your word against his word.

    Destroy his stuff and there's a good possibility you will find yourself in Small Claims Court.

    I think you have to send him a certified letter, get a receipt, give him a reasonable time. If you know he's out of town I don't think giving him 72 hours is going to seem reasonable to the Court.

    On a non-legal note: as tempting as it is, I wouldn't stoop to his level - he wasn't honorable but that doesn't give you license to behave in the same manner.

    And purely on a personal note - Is this the guy you participated in threesomes with? Sounded like he was looking at other pastures then, he was looking for something he didn't have.
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #5

    Jun 23, 2008, 03:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
    I think you have to send him a certified letter, get a receipt, give him a reasonable time period. If you know he's out of town I don't think giving him 72 hours is going to seem reasonable to the Court.

    What do you think is a reasonable time fram? He is not due to return till the 16th. He has made things hard for me and I'm not willing to help him anymore.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #6

    Jun 23, 2008, 03:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chrissymarie
    what do you think is a reasonable time fram? he is not due to return till the 16th. he has made things hard for me and i'm not willing to help him anymore.

    At least until he gets back in town - do you know when he's coming back? I'd write him a letter and give him 72 hours following when he gets the letter.

    If, for example, you know he's coming back on Monday, arrange for delivery on Monday and demand he pick up his stuff before Thursday PM.

    OR pack it up and deliver it to a friend or relative - it's work for you but it would get rid of his stuff quickly and easily.

    OR I've seen this work but you're out of pocket at first - pack it up, place it in a storage unit (the most reasonable you can find), send him the certified letter and tell him if he wants the stuff he'd better pick it up because you aren't going to pay any more and if he doesn't it will be auctioned off.

    And then be grateful you're done with him -
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #7

    Jun 23, 2008, 03:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
    At least until he gets back in town - do you know when he's coming back? I'd write him a letter and give him 72 hours following when he gets the letter.

    If, for example, you know he's coming back on Monday, arrange for delivery on Monday and demand he pick up his stuff before Thursday PM.

    OR pack it up and deliver it to a friend or relative - it's work for you but it would get rid of his stuff quickly and easily.

    OR I've seen this work but you're out of pocket at first - pack it up, place it in a storage unit (the most reasonable you can find), send him the certified letter and tell him if he wants the stuff he'd better pick it up because you aren't going to pay any more and if he doesn't it will be auctioned off.

    And then be grateful you're done with him -

    Do you think I could just send his attorney a certified letter to relay to him, giving him 5 days once the letter is received to have a relative or friend pick up his stuff. I'm definitely not packing anything up or putting anything in storage under may name. I mean we made this verbal agreement once while we were together. Now that were not the agreements we had before are broken. I should be burdened with him when he is not burdened with me. I am very upset. Obviously.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    Jun 23, 2008, 03:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chrissymarie
    Do you think i could just send his attorney a certified letter to relay to him, giving him 5 days once the letter is recieved to have a relative or friend pick up his stuff. I'm definitely not packing anything up or putting anything in storage under may name. I mean we made this verbal agreement once while we were together. now that were not the agreements we had before are broken. I should be burdened with him when he is not burdened with me. I am very upset. obviously.

    Sure, if you're willing to handle things this way have an attorney take care of it - 100% guaranteed you are within your rights and the laws.

    Absolutely.

    (I would imagine you are upset - but you seem to be thinking it through and not everybody does that.)
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #9

    Jun 24, 2008, 05:43 AM
    Hey chrissy,

    Lol I probably shouldn't have given that advice but it did sound so naughty didn't it?

    Thankfully the guy with whom my best friend pulled that on didn't take her to court. I don't think he realized he left stuff at her house.
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #10

    Jun 24, 2008, 07:30 AM
    Thanks for your help everyone. Yesterday after I got off work I made a visit to my dads friend who is an attorney. He let me know I could basically do whatever I want with his things as long as I give him at least a 72 hr notice. My ex's attorney called me and just asked me to send a certified notice that I was going to relinquish his items upon the end of the 72 hr notice after he received the certified letter. As soon as I finished typing it out my ex had someone on their way to pick up his things. I was so happy until a skanky girl in short shorts arrived to get his things with a funky attitude on the phone with my ex the whole time. But at least he's out of my life now...
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #11

    Jun 24, 2008, 07:33 AM
    Just curious, why did he dump you?
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #12

    Jun 24, 2008, 07:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Just curious, why did he dump you?

    I'm do some glamour/lingerie/bathing suit modeling. He met me knowing this about me. Now that were engaged all of the sudden it embarass's him. He wanted me to stop and I did for awhile until recently I landed a shoot with a really hot photographer in our area. I wanted to do the shoot and he flipped. I told him I was going to do it anyway because it my passion. So I guess that was the final straw for him. He's very controlling and I'm really hard to control. The life he has planned for me... kids next year, become a history teacher, have a normal life... isn't exactly the life I want. At least right now anyway. Our age difference is a factor too... me being 20 and him being 30. You should read some of my other questions to get and idea about what we've been going through.
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #13

    Jun 24, 2008, 10:36 AM
    It sounds like he has his own set of problems.

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