[sublime156]

Sorry it's a little long:
My girlfriend just broke up with me 8 days ago. We had been together for a year and a half and we were very much in love with each other. When she broke up with me it was very random and out of the blue. She said she needed space, that she didn't want to date anyone else right now, but she also didn't want to be tied down or committed to anyone at the same time. She told me that she still loves me and will for awhile but she needs this time.

She had previously been in a reltionship for two years before me and wasn't expecting to get into another long term relationship when she met me. But we just really connected well and our relationship grew fast. But she was very serious about our relationship. We both openly felt like we knew we were getting married one day, even one week before we broke up she was talking to me about what age we should get married. I'm 20 and she's 18.

We also are going to the same college this fall. This will be her 1st year in college but my fourth. We decided awhile ago to go to the same college, I even transferred from a big university to a smaller school because I wanted to be with her. Last month she was talking about how she wants us to get an apartment together her sophomore year.

But now we aren't together anymore. I talked to her the night of the break up and I asked her if she'd be willing to date. She said yes and added that she wanted us to be the same but when we date other people we can't kiss them or anything physical. So at first I thought it sounded great but the next day I decided that it would not work out well and that we should be totally single, all or nothing. So we had a date planned two days afterward but I pushed it back another week to give her time to miss me.

I'm taking her to this dinner and show that she's always wanted to go to. We had planned on going before but its too expensive. It's going to cost me at least $115. But it'll be worth it because she knows its expensive and she'll have a lot of fun. I'm planning on acting like everything is the same and just have fun and not talk about the situation. Then at the end of the night I'm sure she'll kiss me if she still loves me.

What I'm asking is does this sound like I should not be worried or could she be going out with me to let me down slowly? I know she loves me and this break up has strengthened my belief that we are right for each other. I feel like its just one of those cases where most girls break up with their boyfriends before college because they want the "full college experience" and eventually she'll see its not all great and come back to me. I know this has been influenced by her mom, even though her mom says she likes me. But if she truly loved me at one time and she says she still loves me now, she just needs time, and she is willing to date right now, should I be worried? This is just a phase all girls that age go through right?

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry but no most girls don't break up to get a "full college experience" they would try and still date but often still end up growing apart. The transition into college and growing up often changes people as they grow apart with new things happening in each others life.

If you are not together you can't stand still you have to live you life and move on also,

[sublime156]

That's very true and I know that if she does not love me then it wasn't meant to be. However she keeps tellling me that she still loves me and is excited about going on a date. Earlier in the week she wanted to only be physical with me but date other people as nothing serious. But we're not going to do that. I told her we need to be completely single. But its so up in the air right now and I think she is just confused if this is right or not. If she's willing to date me then she obviously must feel like there's still hope for us. Otherwise she would have cut it off completely. I'm just going to take her out Wednesday and have fun and not talk about the situation. I really feel like we're going to get back together. The thing I'm afraid of is I don't know how soon. But I know she really loves me, I know she's been hurting this week like I have, and I know she'll be happy to see me. I really believe this is how she'll feel on our date. I really hope I'm right.