[pyite]

Last May I bought my wife a necklace from a jewelry store, and a week later I received a "thank you" card from the sales lady from the store (even though I asked not to be added to any mailing lists).

Today, a month later, I receive another "thank you" letter, stating it was nice to see me again and added that she hopes she will enjoy the new necklace. This new letter is clearing applying I bought another necklace. The problem is I've been in that store once in my life and now my wife is convinced I am cheating on her, since she hasn't received 2 necklaces.

I've tried calling the store 3 times today to clear this mess up to no avail. In the beginning, I didn't think much of it, but to see my wife's reaction of believing the letter, has really elevated this whole issue. I have no history of cheating and am honestly not hiding an affair but the jewelry store had all day to handle this issue but as of now, my wife has left the house in tears, I am in a state of shock and at a lost.

Is there a case here where I can hold a well known jewelry company accountable for their mistake and lack of attention on this issue, this has really but a dent on a 3 year marriage today. If your asking why doesn't my wife just trust my word, my answer would be I know she's been cheated on before and it's not like she is married to a perfect man but not a cheater.

[Mom of 2]

Are you sure that there are no other signs that would indicate a possibility of infidelity? Do you work late hours? Are there times that you cannot account for your whereabouts? Do you receive phone calls on your cell phone and then run into the other room to talk so she cannot hear? Even if you are not cheating on her you need to understand that these are suspicious actions that would warrant anyone to wonder what is going on. A lot of times when a spouse has cheated, they get their wife an expensive gift (guilt gift) to compensate for their guilty feelings. If the marriage is very important to you, you need to go the extra yard to help your wife understand that you have not cheated. You need to now become the perfect husband by spending time with her and not to do anything that would be questionable or suspicious.

[froggy7]

Actually, I would be talking to the store very firmly right now, because it's possible someone has gotten hold of your information and bought a second necklace. And I would definitely want that looked into, if I had to go there and stand in front of them until they cleared this all up.

[JudyKayTee]

Actually, I would be talking to the store very firmly right now, because it's possible someone has gotten hold of your information and bought a second necklace. And I would definitely want that looked into, if I had to go there and stand in front of them until they cleared this all up.

Yes, I'd address this with the store but, more importantly, I think I'd look into counselling. This is a rough way to handle the trust issue in a marriage.

Jealousy is a difficult thing to deal with - my husband had a very expensive watch engraved, "I will always love you. Bev." Problem is my name's not Bev and I didn't buy the watch for him. He offered to stop wearing the watch, sell it, have the inscription removed. I didn't see the point - he wore it, I didn't worry about it.

If there had been some level of distrust or jealousy I'm sure it would have driven me crazy. I think lots of people get cheated on over the years - they just don't all carry that suspicion into the new relationship.

Point is - if your wife has over-reacted (and I think she's over-reacting) in this scenario, I would find out why because it can only get worse.

[ScottGem]

First, this is the Law board. You asked a specific question about the store's liability. That question needs to be answered first.

Yes, you need to get firm with the store. If you can prove their error lead to the rift between you, you have a case against them. Either they goofed and need to correct that goof with a strong apology or someone stole your identity. Either way you need the store to take immediate action. I would not do this in writing, I would appear at the store and demand to speak immediately to the manager/owner.

Now I agree with Judy, that, for your wife to overreact, indicates that some counseling might be helpful to deal with her insecurity issues. But I think it should be joint counseling so you both can learn to deal with it.

As an aside to Mom of 2, your post here was very inappropriate. As noted this is the legal board and the OP's question needed to be dealt with first of all. Your response might have been appropriate for a relationship board, but not here.

[Emland]

I work as a manager for a shop that rents private mailboxes. We have to be very careful of our customer's privacy because it is too easy for people/spouses/co-workers to get the wrong idea about why someone has a private mailbox. I can understand how a letter like that can be misinterpreted.

I believe what the shop did is very inappropriate. Especially since you told them NOT to put you on a mailing list. I don't think what they did is actionable because it may be a simple clerical error. They obviously keep a database of items sold and it appears to generate an automatic thank-you letter. I would do what other posters have recommended and go down to the store with your wife and discuss this with the store manager. Make sure you impress upon the manager that you don't appreciate the breech of your privacy and that his store has caused you great distress and that you are going to tell everyone that you know about this problem. Ask him to show you exactly what he is going to do to prevent this from happening again. Ask him to remove your information from their database while you watch.

As for your wife. I would also recommend counseling. You can also prove to her that there are no charges to this store on any credit cards by showing the statements and have her examine your checking account statement to see if any amount like that mysteriously disappeared from the account.

[ScottGem]

A clerical error can still be actionable as negligence. There are two factors that show contributory negligence. First is the request NOT to be put on a mailing list, which was ignored. Second is the lack of immediate action to correct the clerical error.

But I agree with Emland that your first course of action should be going to the store with your wife and complaining loudly. I also agree that you should be able to open your financial statements to your wife to show that so such transaction took place.