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    charliesangels's Avatar
    charliesangels Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 15, 2008, 05:36 AM
    My husband has asked for a trial separation
    Has anyone had any experience of this please?
    We have been married 2 years, together 6
    Is it a prelude to divorce? Or do couples actually get back after living apart?
    Credendovidis's Avatar
    Credendovidis Posts: 1,593, Reputation: 66
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    #2

    Jun 15, 2008, 05:51 AM
    As you do not indicate WHY he asked for that (what the problems are that you two experience) , there is little anyone can say here other than that you two may require a visit to a marriage councillor first to analyze what is the problem, and if that can be "repaired".

    In most cases a trial separation ends up in permanent separation, i.e. divorce.
    So it is worth to get professional help !

    Good luck !

    :)
    charliesangels's Avatar
    charliesangels Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 15, 2008, 05:59 AM
    He can't stand to be with me anymore - I work 12 hours a day, and then I go out A LOT (with work) and at weekends I sleep... I always put myself first, and he's had enough. He wants to see whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, plus we have agreed that I need to change.
    I am not really painting myself in a very good light, but am just be honest. I have not had an affair, and neither has he - I know that - I love him, as he does me but he doesn't feel like we working together as a TEAM...
    wlkr95's Avatar
    wlkr95 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 15, 2008, 05:55 PM
    Sounds like you know what to do to save your marriage. Are you willing to take the necessary steps to improve? Do you invite him to go out with you? I know couples that have sep to get back together and I know some that never find their way back. Tuff to say.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #5

    Jun 15, 2008, 07:12 PM
    From what I have seen if you and he are actually working at making changes then it may be possible. If he is just saying he is willing to work things out but avoiding you and not working on issues with you then very likely he could just be claiming to want to work things out but showing no real interest. Do your part and work on making a difference where you can say that you have made this list of changes. Then maybe he will notice how serious you are about working it out with him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #6

    Jun 15, 2008, 07:27 PM
    It sounds like the problem is your work and the hours you do, is this normal for your job ? Do all your co workers do the same hours and days and travel ?

    I quit a 100,000 dollar a year job when the choice was my family or my job, I put my family first. But many people do choice their jobs over families
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,099, Reputation: 236
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    #7

    Jul 5, 2008, 06:48 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by charliesangels
    Has anyone had any experience of this please?
    We have been married 2 years, together 6
    is it a prelude to divorce? or do couples actually get back after living apart?
    I saw this recently: 'controlled separation'. "Controlled separation is a new approach to dealing with marital problems that has grown in popularity over the last few years. The ultimate goal of controlled separation is to save the marriage by working with a counselor by putting together a separation agreement with specific guidelines." see: Controlled Separation - What is a Controlled Separation?
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