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-   -   My husband has asked for a trial separation (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=227020)

  • Jun 15, 2008, 05:36 AM
    charliesangels
    My husband has asked for a trial separation
    Has anyone had any experience of this please?
    We have been married 2 years, together 6
    Is it a prelude to divorce? Or do couples actually get back after living apart?
  • Jun 15, 2008, 05:51 AM
    Credendovidis
    As you do not indicate WHY he asked for that (what the problems are that you two experience) , there is little anyone can say here other than that you two may require a visit to a marriage councillor first to analyze what is the problem, and if that can be "repaired".

    In most cases a trial separation ends up in permanent separation, i.e. divorce.
    So it is worth to get professional help !

    Good luck !

    :)
  • Jun 15, 2008, 05:59 AM
    charliesangels
    He can't stand to be with me anymore - I work 12 hours a day, and then I go out A LOT (with work) and at weekends I sleep... I always put myself first, and he's had enough. He wants to see whether he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, plus we have agreed that I need to change.
    I am not really painting myself in a very good light, but am just be honest. I have not had an affair, and neither has he - I know that - I love him, as he does me but he doesn't feel like we working together as a TEAM...
  • Jun 15, 2008, 05:55 PM
    wlkr95
    Sounds like you know what to do to save your marriage. Are you willing to take the necessary steps to improve? Do you invite him to go out with you? I know couples that have sep to get back together and I know some that never find their way back. Tuff to say.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 07:12 PM
    N0help4u
    From what I have seen if you and he are actually working at making changes then it may be possible. If he is just saying he is willing to work things out but avoiding you and not working on issues with you then very likely he could just be claiming to want to work things out but showing no real interest. Do your part and work on making a difference where you can say that you have made this list of changes. Then maybe he will notice how serious you are about working it out with him.
  • Jun 15, 2008, 07:27 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    It sounds like the problem is your work and the hours you do, is this normal for your job ? Do all your co workers do the same hours and days and travel ?

    I quit a 100,000 dollar a year job when the choice was my family or my job, I put my family first. But many people do choice their jobs over families
  • Jul 5, 2008, 06:48 AM
    George_1950
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by charliesangels
    Has anyone had any experience of this please?
    We have been married 2 years, together 6
    is it a prelude to divorce? or do couples actually get back after living apart?

    I saw this recently: 'controlled separation'. "Controlled separation is a new approach to dealing with marital problems that has grown in popularity over the last few years. The ultimate goal of controlled separation is to save the marriage by working with a counselor by putting together a separation agreement with specific guidelines." see: Controlled Separation - What is a Controlled Separation?

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