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yatyas75 · Jun 4, 2008, 07:50 PM

My husband is the non-custodial parent. We as well as the custodial parent, reside in Texas. For the very first time, his ex-wife has asked us to take their two children for the summer. We are both very excited and looking forward to having them for an extended period, as opposed to every other week-end. However, my husband had agreed ONLY if she provide daycare being she would still be receiving the support payments but not have the children for the summer. She agreed and said the children would go to a well known public daycare. Several weeks later, my husband contacted her to ask what day/date/time, etc. we would pick the kids up for the summer. We needed to schedule everything for the summer. She then announced she was not going to have the children in the public daycare after all, instead, she would have her husbands 14 year old niece care for the children in her home. We were concerned for 1) my husband requests someone trained in CPR, etc. 2) what happens if the caregiver could not care for the children one or more days for whatever reason? We have to be sure we can depend on the caregiver. There is no back up plan? We can't jeopardize our jobs 3) we both work 8 hour days and wonder if the 14 yr. old could even handle that type schedule with 3 young children all summer long ( 1 child is the ex-wife's from her current marriage, in which the caregiver would be caring for as well as our 2) My husband has insisted the children go to a dependable childcare, she refuses and told him he can deal with the childcare she provides or we can't have the children for the summer. We are devastated and don't know what to do at this point. We have always gave in to all her requests, but this one is non-nogotionable. Can she refuse to let us have the children? It is court ordered my husband has the right to have the children for the summer. Besides, she was the one that made the request, in which we gladly accepted.

reikiwmn · Jun 4, 2008, 08:08 PM

Look at your papers and see what it says exactly. How long can you have them over the summer break? I am sure it says the exact amount of time. I am sure paying support does not change just because you have the kids. I also believe that if you are having the kids with you, it is up to YOU to find daycare. This is not support. If they are staying with you and you want to pay for the daycare you want and not have a 14 year old do it, then you should pay for that. While they are with you, you are responsible for all their basic needs, and you still pay support. Basic needs would include daycare.

yatyas75 · Jun 4, 2008, 08:12 PM

The court order says 30 day's, however, the mother asked us to keep them 2 months (60 days) we have no problem with that. The children would see their mother every other week-end, as stated in the court order. Never the less, we would not refuse the children to see their mom if their desire was more often. We have always tried to think of the children's best interest first.

reikiwmn · Jun 4, 2008, 08:18 PM

But as far as daycare goes, while they are with you ,you are in charge of who watches them not her and you should be the one to pay for it, not her.

yatyas75 · Jun 4, 2008, 08:22 PM

So, she should keep the child support I pay for the 2 months I have the children and I should pay additional money for day care? Isn't the cost of daycare part of child support? That doesn't seem to be fair, if she doesn't have the children for the 2 months, why should she need child support??

stinawords · Jun 4, 2008, 08:57 PM

You can go back to court over it but I wouldn't expect it to change much because the support is figured with you having them for 30 days during the summer already. The only thing different would be possibly her splitting the cost of day care becaue you would have the kids twice as long. I wouldn't leave them with a 14 year old either as said before when they are in your care as ordered by the court you are responsible for those decisions. As for the support you might want to try to meet in the middle because if you go back to court you may just end up paying some court costs with out anything coming back to you.

yatyas75 · Jun 5, 2008, 07:03 AM

My husband is the non-custodial parent. We as well as the custodial parent, reside in Texas. For the very first time, his ex-wife has asked us to take their two children for the summer. We are both very excited and looking forward to having them for an extended period, as opposed to every other week-end. However, my husband had agreed ONLY if she provide daycare being she would still be receiving the support payments but not have the children for the summer. She agreed and said the children would go to a well known public daycare. Several weeks later, my husband contacted her to ask what day/date/time, etc. we would pick the kids up for the summer. We needed to schedule everything for the summer. She then announced she was not going to have the children in the public daycare after all, instead, she would have her husbands 14 year old niece care for the children in her home. We were concerned for 1) my husband requests someone trained in CPR, etc. 2) what happens if the caregiver could not care for the children one or more days for whatever reason? We have to be sure we can depend on the caregiver. There is no back up plan? We can't jeopardize our jobs 3) we both work 8 hour days and wonder if the 14 yr. old could even handle that type schedule with 3 young children all summer long ( 1 child is the ex-wife's from her current marriage, in which the caregiver would be caring for as well as our 2) My husband has insisted the children go to a dependable childcare, she refuses and told him he can deal with the childcare she provides or we can't have the children for the summer. We are devastated and don't know what to do at this point. We have always gave in to all her requests, but this one is non-nogotionable. Can she refuse to let us have the children? It is court ordered my husband has the right to have the children for the summer. Besides, she was the one that made the request, in which we gladly accepted.

Libbers21 · Jun 5, 2008, 11:06 AM

If it's court ordered then no she can't refuse...

stinawords · Jun 5, 2008, 11:10 AM

This is the same question asked before you can look at the other thread to get better more answers and if you have more questions then just link it on as an answer to the other one rather than starting another thread.

ScottGem · Jun 5, 2008, 12:03 PM

I've merged the two threads. Please don't start a new thread with the same question.

As I understand it the court order is alternate weekends and (maybe) 30 days for the summer. Is that correct?

If so she's not violating an court ordered agreement.

Child support is for the care of the child in general. Using daycare is a choice, not a necessity. Do the children go to daycare now?

It sounds like you are just getting them for an extra 30 days, not really enough to change the support arrangement

Fr_Chuck · Jun 5, 2008, 02:19 PM

Ok, she does not have to pay for the child care. There is no legal requirement for her to do this, unless it is listed in the child custody agreement. Parents all over the US, get their kids for the summer, they still pay child support and don't get the day care paid for.
That is just what happens. So if you don't want use of the baby sitter, you hire your own, it is your obligation to do so.

Angel_Wings · Jun 6, 2008, 08:32 AM

Isn't there a law limiting the amount of time a 14 year old can "babysit". I say babysit as a 14 year old is not capable of providing adequate "daycare" an extended period!!

P.S. I vote the DAD take the kids for the summer regardless of the expense!
Not only will they be in better care, they will have the time and love of their father for the whole summer. Memories are "priceless".

reikiwmn · Jun 6, 2008, 03:58 PM

I wanted to reply about what calidad said about both parents paying daycare 50/50. From my experience with Texas child support that is not always the case. If mom always pays for it when she has the kids and it is not a part of support, she gets a break on it when dad has them and he pays... unless it states specifically in the decree... but that won't help yatyaz75 if mom if refusing to let him have the kids... I say don't worry over who pays a few bucks for this... it is about the kids. That seems to get forgotten to often in all this court ordered drama.. have a great summer yatyaz... hope you have fun with the kids.