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    TwinkletOes26's Avatar
    TwinkletOes26 Posts: 182, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jun 3, 2008, 11:28 AM
    Children and Cursing
    I was in the verizon store the other day and I saw a child who couldn't have been any more than maybe 8 trip and fall on her butt and say damnit that hurts... well the mother smacked the kid and told her you are not to say that its inappropriate but then 5 min later she turns to the sales person whp told her that the phone she wanted would be 219 dollars and she said to him and I quote " God D**n thats expensive!" right in front of her child so here's my question: How can a parent expect their child not to do something when they do it right there where they can see it? Don't they know that THEY are an example to their kids and if you don't want our kids to do something you shouldn't do it. I personally think what the kid said was less harsh than what the mama said lol... I know I curse sometimes but I don't have kids and if I did I most certainly woud not reprimand them if they were just repeating what they have heard me say. What do you guys think? Oh yeah can you teach a child where cursing is totally inappropriate such as school,church,in front of older relatives etc? Like I said I'm not a parent (unless fish count lol) so I don't know.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Jun 3, 2008, 11:33 AM
    It's a case of do as I say, not as I do. It is wrong, but hey, we're all just human beings, and we make mistakes. I have two kids, and sometimes bad words just slip out, when I bang my toe on the coffee table then I am sure to say something I don't want my kids to repeat. It happens, live and learn.
    firmbeliever's Avatar
    firmbeliever Posts: 2,919, Reputation: 463
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    #3

    Jun 3, 2008, 11:38 AM
    I don't curse and prefer if others didn't curse either.

    I have other faults and I have seen my kid imitate me in some things and that makes me stop in my tracks and think,I shouldn't have done that if I didn't want her to copy it.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jun 3, 2008, 11:42 AM
    First cursing is not appropriate, so trying to decide where to is a entire issue within itself. Children learn to curse from several sourses, TV of course, other people, and their parents. The fact that the parents do it is bad enough, since they set the example for their child, But it is obvous that the child most likely got into trouble only because they were public, a child is not that free at saying those remarks if they don't say them all the time
    TwinkletOes26's Avatar
    TwinkletOes26 Posts: 182, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Jun 3, 2008, 12:38 PM
    I think that as a parent if you are going to continue to curse you should not be surprised and angry when your children do it as well. I think my mom is the only mother I know tha does not curse(unless she's extremely angry). I curse but I think when I have kids I'm going to watch my mouth until they are older(aka old enough to know cursing at school is not appropriate or at church)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Jun 3, 2008, 01:08 PM
    As a mom I do watch my potty mouth, but like I said, only human, words do slip out occasionally. I always tell my kids that mommy said something bad, and it's not okay. So far so good, I have a 9 year old and a 5 year old, they never say bad words, at least not in front of me and not that I've heard from anyone else. My kids think darn is a bad word.
    TwinkletOes26's Avatar
    TwinkletOes26 Posts: 182, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Jun 3, 2008, 01:46 PM
    What about when they become teens this usually is where kids decide for themselves whether or not cursing is appropriate for them to use in their everyday language (also at this age thy know if I cuss at school or church in front of mom and dad ill get in trouble) and I remember as a teen no matter how much my mama said cursing anywhere was wrong I did it anyway (I just made sure she never heard me) In fact she recently got mad because I was on the phone with a friend and I called a former roommate we had a b-tch and I heard a 20 min speech did it stop me no I just made sure the next time I said it she was completely out of ear shot
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Jun 3, 2008, 05:22 PM
    Twinklet, a bit of a double standard here. You think it's inappropriate to swear in front of kids, and I agree, but you do swear. You know your mother doesn't appreciate swearing in front of her, but you do it anyway. Now you've learned to make sure you're out of ear shot when you cuss. You say that you will not swear in front of you kids when you have them, will it still be out of earshot? Just a tip, you may think they're out of earshot, or not listening, but they will surprise you at the things they will pick up on when you had no idea they were even in the room listening to every word.

    I guess you'll pretty much follow the do as I say not as I do rule.

    I don't intentionally swear in front of my kids, like I said before, I am human, when I stub my toe sometimes a bad word comes out, my way to make sure the kids don't repeat, talk to them, tell them it was wrong and that mommy made a mistake. Forgive if they make the same mistake, but reiterate that it is wrong.

    Works for me, so far, we'll see what happens when they become teens and I'm not longer the biggest influence in their lives.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Jun 3, 2008, 05:35 PM
    There is only one way to do this to my way of thinking, and that's to teach your kids, what you will beat their little a$$es over.. oooppps, sorry, teach them what you expect of their behavior, and what will be the consequences of disobedience, before you walk out of your door. No doubt they will pick up stuff from other kids, and TV, just to name a few, but laying out some strict guidelines and sticking to it is the whole key.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #10

    Jun 3, 2008, 05:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    There is only one way to do this to my way of thinking, and thats to teach your kids, what you will beat their little a$$es over..oooppps, sorry, teach them what you expect of their behavior, and what will be the consequences of disobedience, before you walk out of your door. No doubt they will pick up stuff from other kids, and TV, just to name a few, but laying out some strict guidelines and sticking to it is the whole key.
    Amen to that!
    TwinkletOes26's Avatar
    TwinkletOes26 Posts: 182, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Jun 3, 2008, 06:12 PM
    Quote : You think it's inappropriate to swear in front of kids, and I agree, but you do swear. You know your mother doesn't appreciate swearing in front of her, but you do it anyway. Now you've learned to make sure you're out of ear shot when you cuss. You say that you will not swear in front of you kids when you have them, will it still be out of earshot?

    No I said I think its insane to expect your kids not to do something you do... and I said I would curb my swearing when I have kids at least until they are old enough to know that cursing at school,church,in front of grandparents and older people, or people who generally find cursing offensive is not appropriate. I follow all those cursing guidelines except the last one because I'm not going to go out of my way to curse in front of someone I know finds it offensive but I'm usually not friends with people who do most of my friends have potty mouths(hey none of us have kids to worry about lol) its nothing out of control but they do curse. I personally don't find cursing offensive they are just words (you can disagree that is your right but I just dont) in fact to me words like d**mn(it) and h*ll aren't really that bad of curse words (I use those to the most) I understand that if I'm in a place with a lot of children I should watch my &*%! (j/k) mouth but if I'm talking to my friends (again none of them have kids) then who cares if they don't I don't. Different strokes for different folks butn again I'm 26 and know what is appropriate where and when.
    kiki_doki's Avatar
    kiki_doki Posts: 200, Reputation: 11
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    #12

    Jun 10, 2008, 02:05 PM
    Firstly I think children learn by example, I sometimes hear children in the streets using terrible language and they must have got it from home! My eldest son said stupid (which is a swear word in my house) and then my 2 year old copied him straight away.
    So they pick up more than we expect them to!
    I get very angry when young people or adults generally swear in the streets.. why should my children be exposed to that because they can't curb their tongues... I then tell them so!
    mimi03's Avatar
    mimi03 Posts: 201, Reputation: 45
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    #13

    Jun 17, 2008, 06:22 PM
    My mom cursed my entire life yet I chose not to. As a child I had friends who'd swear while we were at school but even then I didn't join in because it was one of those things my mom explained that "only grown ups could do" so because I respected her I didn't do it... I still don't curse and find it a little annoying when a person's vocab. Is drenched in profanity.

    Now my brother was a different story, he cursed when we were younger around his friends and such (not anywhere near my mom, of course) but now he thinks it's trashy and can't stand that my mom still uses curse words.

    (she tries to be a little less profane now but I guess it's just a tough habit to break at this point)

    So I think it will definitely have an effect on the child but each child is different... so the best choice would be to lead by example.

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