[angelar8076]

See I have a friend that went behind my back and went with my ex though I still had feelings for him.also she calls me her sis and when she does that it makes me want to kick her a**... am I wronge for feeling that way cause I know that I have moved on and all but at the time that was kind of hard for me but I'm still having trouble trusting her as a friend. Do you think I should be her friend after what she did?should I forgive her?I just don't know... I am so confused please help me determine weather I should just stop talking to the both of them are not...

[Clough]

I think that you should forgive in order to help you to get over this. However, trusting is another issue. If someone does something like that to you, then they have broken your trust. They must then earn it back.

If you want her as a friend, then that is your choice. However, I would hope that you make it clear to her that you don't like what she did, how much it hurt you.

Does she really want to be your friend?

Hopefully, others will also be along to help you. It would also help to know how old all of you are in order to respond the best to your posts. If you are very young, then it's not uncommon for relations to be on and off and "switch players" frequently.

[JBeaucaire]

The world is so full of pain and hurt, do we really want to add the extra that comes with neediness like this? How can we truly call ourselves mature and loving people if we have rules about who other people can date or not based on my pride?

They are both single available and interested. You're no longer in play for this man, but you would impose rules on your supposed friends that inhibit their chance at happiness?

I understand where this comes from. I'm simply saying it's the kind of thing we should spot in ourselves and suppress. It's not healthy, it's not loving, and it's REALLY not fair.

I say friendship is something you give. So give it selflessly.

Just because someone does something that you don't like or somehow hurts your heart doesn't mean THEY have done anything wrong.

There are a lot of moments when I feel offended by something I've heard/read/seen, but when I truly analyze the moment, the only reason I'm offended is because of my sensibilities. The other party hasn't done anything actually harmful, it's just my response to it that's causing the rift.

I can get over those offenses. And I should, with my mouth shut.

Your question was "should I forgive them?" I say "No, tell them you're having a problem with it and ask them to forgive you for putting yourself in between them in any way and you promise not to do it anymore."