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    Thoroski's Avatar
    Thoroski Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jun 1, 2008, 11:37 AM
    Is this Song good ?
    I'm 11 years old so what do you thinks good and wha should I improve

    Watch

    Watch me and listen and you'll be surprised
    Lets just say I can spit and I should be advertised
    Why ? Because I'm that prized
    How can you not notice me ? I'm undisguised
    So, all my peers open your eyes and ears
    Everything that I say’s going to be quite clear
    Also one more thing, please hold the cheers
    Cuz when its over, your going to wish you listned better
    Cuz I'm equivalent to a 4 leaf clover
    Im that rare
    You should care, I'm as important as air
    Plus you’ll never hear something greater
    Cuz no one can compare




    Watch as I get older and my rhymes get colder
    Everyone will honor me as if I as a soldier
    Watch, one day ill hit the big screen,my
    Wallet will be like grass but more green.
    chufa-ou-la-la's Avatar
    chufa-ou-la-la Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #2

    May 6, 2009, 02:09 PM

    HAHAH
    Wiseee
    hailey51's Avatar
    hailey51 Posts: 14, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #3

    Mar 17, 2010, 05:41 PM

    Hey,
    this is great!! I think it's really and that as you get older, you'll get better and better!
    Neelie's Avatar
    Neelie Posts: 512, Reputation: 39
    Senior Member
    		  
    #4

    Mar 26, 2010, 11:08 PM

    Cool :)
    liverpool75's Avatar
    liverpool75 Posts: 58, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Apr 15, 2010, 12:34 PM

    Very good for your age.the 1 thing I would advise you on is try not have the ending on everyline rhyme.even have line 1s ending word rhyming with line 3 and 2 with 4 and so on.I hope this helps.
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