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-   -   Is this Song good ? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=222060)

  • Jun 1, 2008, 11:37 AM
    Thoroski
    Is this Song good ?
    I'm 11 years old so what do you thinks good and wha should I improve

    Watch

    Watch me and listen and you'll be surprised
    Lets just say I can spit and I should be advertised
    Why ? Because I'm that prized
    How can you not notice me ? I'm undisguised
    So, all my peers open your eyes and ears
    Everything that I say’s going to be quite clear
    Also one more thing, please hold the cheers
    Cuz when its over, your going to wish you listned better
    Cuz I'm equivalent to a 4 leaf clover
    Im that rare
    You should care, I'm as important as air
    Plus you’ll never hear something greater
    Cuz no one can compare




    Watch as I get older and my rhymes get colder
    Everyone will honor me as if I as a soldier
    Watch, one day ill hit the big screen,my
    Wallet will be like grass but more green.
  • May 6, 2009, 02:09 PM
    chufa-ou-la-la

    HAHAH
    Wiseee
  • Mar 17, 2010, 05:41 PM
    hailey51

    Hey,
    this is great!! I think it's really and that as you get older, you'll get better and better!
  • Mar 26, 2010, 11:08 PM
    Neelie

    Cool :)
  • Apr 15, 2010, 12:34 PM
    liverpool75

    Very good for your age.the 1 thing I would advise you on is try not have the ending on everyline rhyme.even have line 1s ending word rhyming with line 3 and 2 with 4 and so on.I hope this helps.

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