[wot2do]

Well... It was all going good... those who know my story my ex of 4 yrs broke up with me about 5 months ago out of nowhere. I was in complete ruin etc etc... started to feel better about myself after a while... and started seeing this girl whom I've been seeing the last 2 months ish.

She's very pretty (prettier than my ex) which made me feel good about myself but I kind of felt I didn't deserve her. Anyway... things were going well - yea she has always been slightly crazy, eccentric and dresses like a tart sometimes but she is so much fun. In the back of my mind I knew she was not marriage material; although I'm not sure if this is because I felt I was not good enuf for her, or becus she just does not meet my expectations in what I want in a life partner. I tried my best not to get attached knowing she would end it at any point... but its ridiculous in the space of just a few months I developed really strong feelings for her.

That's when she started acting weird (up to a about a month ago) and basically stopped contacting me in the last 2 weeks. She said she didn't want to end it though when I asked her about it. Strangely this may make me sound quite needy but I'm not a needy person whatsoever! But going 2 weeks w/o bareley txtin/speakin/seein your girlfriend seems wrong to me, having gone from spending quite a lot of time together. Anyway... after more messing about - her saying she would change - nothing has changed, still ignoring etc. So I had to end it because it was making me unhappy.

So now I feel upset because she should of been the one that ended it not me... and its brought back all the old feelings I had for my ex...
As it happens Im going on a date with this other girl who I'm not even sure if I like. Is wrong with me? I do not need a woman in my life... but reading this... and me saying I'm not needy... maybe I have turned into some weird needy person. I don't know what to do... I was starting to feel really good about myself in a long time... then this :(

[Ash123]

You did the right thing.

You might consider that you are just in sexual withdrawl.

The pain will decline each day a bit.
Hang in there - and it's OK to go out and flirt a bit and feel validated.
It would hurt a lot worse later - trust me - she would have ended it one way or another.
She is not long term "marriage material" as you said yourself. So, just be strong.
Good job.

[simoneaugie]

In essence, she did break up with you.

You need more time without a significant other to heal. Sure, go out and have a good time but you aren't ready for commitment.

[gg23]

Trust me pal, I know that after being in relationship for a long time, once that's done there is a strong need to find someone else so that we don't feel alone. My girl recently broke up with me out the blue. Now that it break time, I really miss the comfort developed with having someone in my life. I have urges to suddenly jump in to another relationship. It weird being alone, but I think with time I'll be fine , so I am just taking it one day at the time. I think you did the right thing. As someone said she was probably thinking of doing anyway. I think what you need to do is to work on you. Take sometime off and focus on you. 4 years is long time and it will take sometime for you to heal. Embrace it, work on you, look back and see what went wrong, experience the pain, learn and growth. And also always watch for the red flags. That was the mistake I made and many of us make the mistake of giving them the benefit of the doubt. So my advice always watch for them, and when you see it coming, run run far away! I wish I did it would have saved me a whole lot of heartache! Do something you like and just stay busy. It seems that you did the right thing. The best is yet to come. Hang in there!!