[Sophiekins]

Okay a little background is needed for this. In 1999 my older Sister was raped by a guy that she thought was a friend. She pressed charges of course but the guy walked on the grounds that there wasn't enough evidence and so all he had to do was pay for two counseling sessions and was able to wash his hands of the whole thing. Back then my Sister was not as wise or careful as she should have been. She had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd and was dabbling in drugs. She had been drinking that night and what was supposed to be a night of movies turned into a night of horror for her. This guy's parents have money and of course their "little prince" had access to as much as he needed. He hired a private investigator to tail my Sis at the time and, well, pretty much blackmailed her into agreeing to the plea deal. Well about two weeks ago my Sister got served sopeona (not sure on the spelling so please bare with me) to testify against him in a totally different case involving a 14-year-old victim. You can just imagine all of the memories and emotions that came flooding back to her when she received those papers, and at work of all places. The background on the current victim is that she is of course a minor as her age implies but she is also the step daughter of this guy (horrible I know). Well today she has to relive her ordeal on the stand in the case of this little girl. An ordeal that she has tried to forget about for the past almost nine years. She is scared she has seen or heard of this guy for that entire time until today. She is in counseling at this time to help her try and sort out this whole mess but received only those two initial visits for it in the past. She told me that when she thinks about testifying she goes cold and becomes very afraid; my Sis has never been good about dealing with trauma. She says that all she can think about is her own daughter and what would she do if it were her (daughter) who was the victim. Our Brother comes to mind as well because he was sexual abused by our Father and is now in a home for sexually abuse boys. While our Father may as well have walked for his crime. He spent only 90 days in jail and it was done at his leisure not consecutive. And he had to register as a sex offender. She is so afraid that this man with walk again and hurt another little girl or even another woman. I have tried to help her deal with this but she lives two states away so my contact with her is via phone. Understand she is not in anyway suicidal so I am not worried about that. I too have gone through the ordeal of rape and I know the horrors that she faces and the emotions she feels. But each rape case is different as well as each feeling of dread and each emotion. I don't want to bring my ordeal into this because I don't want her to feel more pressure from my experience (she would) or pain. All I tell her is she is strong (she continually says she doesn't know if she can deal with this) and that she can do anything because she is the strongest person I know. I tell not to focus on the guy, the monster, the thief in the night, that will sit in the courtroom as she is forced to relive her horrible encounter with him. But instead to focus on that little girl, our Brother, or her little girl. I know she is scared and I know that this whole thing is messing with her head a lot. And if testifying isn't bad enough my Sister knows the judge. Not in a friend sort of way though. She is a reporter for the newspaper in her town and has interviewed him for several stories in the past. She is also afraid of how people that may get wind of this trial might feel about her and toward her after hearing why she is testifying. My Sister has been with this newspaper for several years and is one of their lead reporters and she doesn't want this trial to effect her job. Emotionally she is eaten up inside. Physically she is exhausted from worrying so much. Mentally she is at a loss. And I don't know how else I can help her. I love my Sis a lot and it kills me to know she is in so much pain. When we were little (even though I am younger than her) I was my Sister's protector. And it hurts to know that I can't protect her from this and I can't just make it better. This man killed a part of my Sister that she can never get back and there is nothing I can do to easy her suffering. Please help me. Any ideas, suggestions, or thoughts that could help my Sister that I could try would be greatly appreciated. I don't know what to do at this point. I know my Sister is going to come out of that courtroom today crushed and anything that may help her to get through this is something I am willing to try. Thank you all in advance for any help you can offer. I am at a loss right now.:(

[NowWhat]

First off, the fact that your sister not as careful or wise as she should have been 9 years ago does not give anyone the right to violate her. It is sad that, with enough money, you can make things go away. Obviously this guy was found guilty of something, otherwise your sister's testimony wouldn't be admissible in court. He may have gotten just a slap on the wrist (which is not enough).

I know she must be scared to death. But today, she gets her justice. She gets to stand up and say he hurt her and can help (hopefully) make sure he doesn't hurt someone again!
There has to be some comfort there. This guy has skated through on his parents money and thinks he is untouchable. Today, your sister can end that.

I am sure she doesn't want to re-live this. Who would? But, if she can look at the bigger picture - the fact that this guy thinks it is okay to do such things - and with HER HELP the justice system can put an end to it all. With her story, people will know that this isn't a first time thing, that this guy has a problem. He is a predator and needs to be stopped. It is not always easy to stand up for what is right. She may get looks or whispers, but in the end, if she helped protect someone else - it may be worth it.
What if next time he goes for her daughter? Or someone else's daughter or someone younger, etc? If she does nothing - could she live with herself? Knowing that she could have stopped this animal? Would the pain from that be worse than what happened 9 years ago?
She has the power now and she may actually get closure from this.
She can FINALLY face her attacker and get justice for herself and others. She will walk out of that court room and NOT BE A VICTIM! That is huge.

I hope this helps. I hope she realizes that she is strong. It may not be easy, but she has to stop being scared. By living in fear, she is getting raped all over again. Today, she takes her life back.

Keep us posted.

[Sophiekins]

I appreciate you powerful words and I continue to emphasize her strength to her. I haven't talked to her yet since she is more than likely still in court. I am hoping that she does get closure from this and I know that to her this man and our Father are one in the same. Both are monsters. Both have hurt someone or several someone's in her attackers case and hopefully her attacker will get what he deserves since the justice system failed my Brother I can only hope that it will not do the same to my Sister and twice to boot! Our Brother was between 8 and 10 years old before he told anyone and I know that eats at her and even more so now that she must go through this whole ordeal again. She has not slept well since she was served and I am hoping tonight she will finally be able to rest easy knowing that it is over. Thank you again for you positive and powerful words.