[purplelilmunster]

Okay so this has been bothering me and I know I should just ask him but its too late now.
There is a guy that used to like me about a year ago and at the time I was not trying to get into a relationship and I was uninterested so I turned him down.
We stopped talking for a short while because of it but then recently we started talking. I grew up as a person and wanted a relationship finally and he came at the right time. So for a short bit me and him got close and talked and hung out all the time. Some problems that I noticed was that he would never tell his friends he was with me (I believe they are mad at me for the beginning of the year). So one day I stayed at his place an nothing happened, we just cuddled and made out and it was very romantic. He said that he would call me the next day to hang out again. He never did. I called him and he said he had to study and he would call me later that night.
He didn't and so I called him and he said he couldn't meet up while sounding a little ed up.
He said we would hang out the next day (this is the day he was leaving school to go home) he didn't call all day so I called him and asked him if we were going to meet up and he said "sure" and that he would call me at some point. I was a little aggravated but I was sure he was going to call.
He did not. I knew when he was leaving town so I texted him bye and said have a good summer and that my friends also said bye. He texts back 'bye'
It sucked like hell. He is in the army reserves and he was leaving to go to basic training on Monday. He never called me from Friday to Sunday when he hung out everyday. (and not excessively just a few hours a day and then we did our own thing) and I couldn't just let him leave without saying goodbye so I called him Sunday night to say bye and He was nice and polite but somewhat cold and I was going to ask him what was up between us but I could not because he was at a family dinner.
He is gone now till July and I don't know what happened between when he dropped me off from his place to now. He used to tell me he would write me from basic and call just to talk. Now I feel like I there is nothing. I liked him a lot to the point I was going to ask him out. This is annoying and stressful and I just don't see what went wrong...

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Perhaps he felt something that night. Perhaps he was scared to start liking you and then leave. That's really all I can see. So he avoided you to prevent either of you from hurting or missing each other.

[purplelilmunster]

He asks me if I trust him... and I say yes he should have just told me... he is making it worse if that is the case

[ChihuahuaMomma]

Ask him.

[purplelilmunster]

I tried but he was busy when I tried to talk to him and now he is gone to basic training till July :(

[ChihuahuaMomma]

You tried over the phone. Like I said, he could have been avoiding you to avoid hurt. I suggest sitting him down IN person when he gets back, and talking to him about this. It's only two months away.

[nova225]

It sounds like you and him are playing CAT and MOUSE... guess who's the cat?? You are all over this guy... give him some space to be free. Maybe he's at the point in his life where he doesn't need anyone right now (free agent). He's going away for awhile and maybe he doesn't want you on his mind the entire time he's away. He might want to be with you, but a LDR is hard.

Stop calling him soooo much... you sound needy and men don't like needy-clingy women.

[purplelilmunster]

I call him once after he blows me off then I leave him alone. He used to like me at the beginning of the year and he was very needy once when he wanted to hang out and I was a friends house and we didn't answer the door (at the time I didn't like him) So he went into my friends back yard and started knocking on windows.
Actually thinking about that incident makes me not like him so much anymore.

[JBeaucaire]

I read your story twice to make sure I got it. I'm sorry, I can't figure out what you're confused about.

You like him, he liked you a little, but after spending some time with you, he decided he wasn't interested and brushed you off. Over and over and over again. And again.

There's no question you like him, he's just not interested, and he's a little passive aggressive so doesn't blatantly SAY "go away", but his actions scream it loud and clear.

Don't they?

The only thing you need to understand is what he is saying, not why. He said goodbye.

[purplelilmunster]

Wow harsh as . But its true. Just wish the douche would say it himself " not as harshly". I guess I knew it but I hate that answer.

[JBeaucaire]

If you want to learn anything from all this, learn that men's actions are way more reliable than their words. Watch what he DOES and believe that.

A guy stands you up once, give him a break.
A guy stands you up TWICE, give YOURSELF a break and don't make excuses for him.
It shouldn't be necessary, but a third standup should be clear enough, eh?

Meanwhile, it won't matter diddly what he's been saying.

Good luck.

[CFZD]

And remember if things don't work out the way you want ,OP. It is not always your fault.
He might not like you that much but hey there is always one person for you!
Don't be too upset, you need to talk this out if it bothers you that much. That's what we are here for.

Take care, Hun.