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central246 · May 6, 2008, 10:41 AM

The state I live in requires a three month separation prior to going forward with a divorce. I am seeing a lady who has separated with her spouse, but now he is stating he wants to move back into their home because he cannot afford to stay somewhere else and split their bills (which is understandable). My question is this... can they remain "seperated" and live under the same roof?

450donn · May 6, 2008, 11:23 AM

First off you should be asking yourself why are you dating someone that is not yet divorced? He should not even considering dating for two years AFTER the divorce is final. Lastly, if he cannot afford to live alone how do you see anything but waster time with this guy? What makes you think he will become instantly able to date you after the divorce if he has no money now.

central246 · May 6, 2008, 11:39 AM

I am seeing the lady not the man. I just need to know if he has to move back in to "their" home while the 3 month separation is going on can she still be considered separated for the purpose of that waiting period.

450donn · May 6, 2008, 02:21 PM

OOPS, mis read sorry. Still my statement hold true. She should not even consider dating for two years after the divorce is final. And if you are having sex with her consider that she is now an adulteress. Remember she is technically still married.
As far as moving back to the marriage home? Not sure how the laws in your state/country read. Only a lawyer can answer that one.

RayDiant · May 7, 2008, 02:17 PM

You have asked a really good question and you do not deserve to be judged by others unless they are in your shoes. I previously posted a question on here and did not ask for "dating" advice however was slammed with "you should not be dating if you are not yet legally divorced". Life happens people! You don't know the situation.

With that said, how will you feel having your friend's husband move back in with her? Is there the possibility of reconciliation? Did they file a legal separation or did they just decide to separate?

The only thing I agree with the previous poster is that you should ask an attorney about the legal bind between your friend and her husband.

I wish you the best of luck and only YOU know what makes you happy.

George_1950 · May 7, 2008, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by central246

The state I live in requires a three month seperation prior to going forward with a divorce. I am seeing a lady who has seperated with her spouse, but now he is stating he wants to move back into their home because he cannot afford to stay somewhere else and split their bills (which is understandable). My question is this.....can they remain "seperated" and live under the same roof?

Legally, yes; but it is a completely unhealthy situation. If I were the wife, I would say no.

JudyKayTee · May 9, 2008, 04:33 AM

Originally Posted by George_1950

Legally, yes; but it is a completely unhealthy situation. If I were the wife, I would say no.

In some States the wording is that the couple must live "separate and apart" under a signed agreement of separation OR they BOTH must testify that they have lived "separate and apart."

Obviously if they are in the same house either one at any time can claim marital relations, true or not, and there goes the separation -

I don't think if I were the boyfriend/girlfriend I'd be very happy with this. And the husband is going to watch the wife date you?

I see big problems here.

Fr_Chuck · May 9, 2008, 04:38 AM

Normally no this will end any separation period. They may get an attorney and file a legal separation notice in which they state separate bedrooms and lifes but it would be up to the judge to decide if he will accept that or not.

But also remember that "rebound" relationship in which the other person dates for the wrong reasons are common, the other people are only warning you that most of these relationships don't work so they are trying to protect you from future heartaches.

RayDiant · May 13, 2008, 02:29 PM

" also remember that "rebound" relationship in which the other person dates for the wrong reasons are commom, the other people are only warning you that most of these relationships don't work so they are trying to protect you from future heartaches."

I agree with this statement... that people with experience are the ones who probably give the best advice.

Also some one stated above that how is the ex going to feel with his wife going on dates with another man? I could not handle that!