[saracav9]

Well it all started about 5 years ago. I went with this guy who was too old for me and stayed with him for 4 1/2 years. He was very controlling and mentally abusive. I finally had the courage to leave him, but not like the other times before. I left him for my own reasons and not to just be with someone else for awhile. Anyway I met this guy who was 3 years younger than me. I am 21 he is 18. Well it went all right for about 2 months then he wanted to break up. I was really devastated. Not only because he was leaving me but only 2 months before my grandfather had passed away and I had broken up with a lunatic and had just quite a great job that I had for 2 years. Well the only thing I thought I could do was to win him back. This wasn't normal for me. I called him crying and told him I loved him and wanted to be with him then finally he came back around and we went out for another 7 months. He finally broke it off again but this time was different. I wasn't calling him or anything, actually he called me. Well I was unaware at the time but he was dating someone else. This really hurt me bad and I was depressed but at the same time happy he just broke it off with me. Anyway it ended like this I thought I was pregnant not because I am crazy but because off all the symptoms I was having. I took a test it came back positive then I called him. Knowing what I had done before I was scared I thought he might think I was insane or trying to get him back but honestly I wasn't. Well the conversation. Went the way I expected nowhere and it just left me wondering why I had called at all. I went to the doctors the next day after a screaming match with him. Well I found out for sure I was pregnant but had a miscarriage. Needless to say I was relieved that I wasn't crazy but it left me feeling weird. He probably think because of last time that I was trying to get him back. So after this long story I need help. Am I obsessive?

[jrebel7]

I would say perhaps more a control issue than an obsession issue. Both are issues that need to be addressed, which ever one it might be. We don't have enough information here to get a clear picture.

From the history you give here, it seems it might be really important for you to take some time to just learn enjoying being without a relationship for awhile. Learn to enjoy your life each day. Coming out of an abusive relationship may have clouded your thinking with the new guy. Give yourself some time. Don't label yourself obsessive. Feed yourself positive thoughts, telling yourself daily you are worthy of being treated with respect. I do however, understand why you posted and asked if you are obsessive. You reacted in a way that was not quite yourself and the acitons seemed obsessive in nature but I don't think you are... I think it was more circumstances brought together. Just another reason to back off from relationships for now.

I have an idea that the girl you were before entering into the abusive relationship, you will find again and you will like her very much and find that you have missed her! Best to you in your journey back to yourself and the blessings that will come from your journey. :)