[knowledgeispwr]

Greetings,
I have been with my girlfriend for a about a moth and a half, and started having "sex" about 2 weeks ago... I haven't yet been inside her, is mostly oral and I'm mostly the giver.
My question is that every time I performed oral sex or a hand job just before she is going to orgasm she turns away and gets turn off. And I don't know y. its driving me crazy. I ask her what's wrong I she says nothing... can you girls help me I just want to make my girl happy.
Thanks

[Fr_Chuck]

Have you just asked her and talked about it?

Part of all relationships are talking and knowing things about each other.
And perhaps in some way, maybe she is just not ready yet

[simoneaugie]

Yeah, you guys need to talk about this.

Women can be overstimulated to the point of pain. Harder - faster may not bring her to orgasm. It can be a turn-off. Ask her what she does by herself. Or ask her to show you what feels best.

[knowledgeispwr]

Yes I have talk to her about it and she doesn't know and or wants to talk about something else. I think you could be right about the ready part but she is 28 and I'm 23.
But thanks for the help.:)


Any girl that's reading this, please I would like an opinion.
Thanks!:)

[knowledgeispwr]

Yeah, you guys need to talk about this.

Women can be overstimulated to the point of pain. Harder - faster may not bring her to orgasm. It can be a turn-off. Ask her what she does by herself. Or ask her to show you what feels best.

Deitails, deitails... lol
She is not as sexual as I am... I am more physical if you know what I mean, but I have asked her what she likes and how I should move my hand and stuff, and she is great at guiding me when I go too fast or too hard. She is not shy about that. The problem is when she is all exited and really enjoying herself and ( snap) she gets turn off just like that.

[simoneaugie]

What have her past sexual relationships been like. There may be a childhood trauma/shame issue that she hasn't told you about.

[froggyfemme]

What have her past sexual relationships been like. There may be a childhood trauma/shame issue that she hasn't told you about.

If this is really the issue, is it possible for her to be unaware of the problem?

I have a similar issue. Can you suppress something like that?

[Choux]

I would guess that she doesn't know about her body(young, naïve, inexperienced)... she just knows what she hears about sex, and that is totally wrong for her-she is a sensitive girl, not a porn actress. She is probably frustrated and feeling inferior, but for *no good reason at all*.

In addition, I think you are "working her over" like she is a sex machine and that is making the situation worse. Girls aren't machines where you press a button to get a desired response. Women often need a passion-emotional connection, a head connection.
I'm guessing she wants to have a boyfriend and will do just about anything to have one... even enduring sex that doesn't please her cause she doesn't know what pleases her.

I would think that she needs to develop her own sexuality. In the meantime, I think you should spend about 15 minutes in foreplay, not touching her genitals, then have some gentle penis stroking for about 2 minutes, and cuddling after the two minutes... and leave it at that. She is a real live girl with feelings and needs to be treated gently so she can grow to enjoy sex.

Good Luck in 2008 :)

[simoneaugie]

Shame is the one emotion that, like addiction, tells you that it is not the problem. And if a person can't remember an event, shame is usually the main factor in the memory loss. It just hurts so much to even delve into shame. She may not have been "abused" but the issue is likely involved with shame.

Choux feel that this woman may not know what really works for her. That could be part or all of the problem too.

You two need to talk about everything, sex too. Guessing is a recipe for misery. If you aren't able to find something out, remember it that way. Don't fill in the blanks from your own assumptions to make it fit.

Keep at it and forget the age difference. If a woman gets satisfaction from contact with you, she will come to you for more. Sometimes the satisfaction is in being able to share honestly and receive acceptance, without someone trying to correct the situation.

[Handyman2007]

She may possibly feel some guilt about reaching an orgasm. There is obviouly something that stops her and she isn't willing to talk about it with you just yet. Give it some time. Back off a little bit and see if she becomes more open with you. Good Luck