[Alan90]

[EDIT] Going to see a councellour tomorrow, first thing.
Answers still appreciated though.

Hi I am 21 years old and I am a sniper in the British army.
I got back from a 6 month tour in Afghanistan 2 weeks ago and I've hardly slept since.
Every time I close my eyes I see all the faces of the men I shot in particular one boy.
Im not sure how to describe how it makes me feel when I re-live these moments.
But to see some ones face close up in that moment before you pull the trigger and how un-knowing of what is about to happen to them is.. well undescribeable. I can't expect you to understand what it feels like. Its something you could only know by doing it yourself.

This is a somewhat serious problem. And I'm not sure how I can get over it, If I can get over it.
Whilst I was in Afghanistan I had no problems what so ever like this. Only since I came back.

Please if anyone has any advice I would appreciate it.
I would really enjoy at least 1 full nights sleep after that tour..

Thanks

[Fr_Chuck]

The military should have professionals who will help you make adjustments back to civilian life.

[Alan90]

Ive spoken to the senior NCO of my Regiment and he tells me that I should speak to a priest but I am not a religious man.
I could go see the camps councellour but I consider myself a 'proud' man and don't feel I could speak to him.
Im not really sure what answers I was expected to get from here but I think its going to have to come to ignoring my issue of 'pride'

[Fr_Chuck]

Of course part of the idea of a sniper is you are merly taking out a target they are not a person, and you are normally not to focus on a face. Next you have to remember that it was for a over all good that you job required you to do things.

But to be honest there will be "ghosts" 10, 20 and 30 years from now, not real ghosts but memories that you will never shake. One has to learn to deal with them, justify them and let them make you grow.

For many they withdraw from society, no longer look at people or at least some classes of people are having value, they lose the value of any life.
This is harmful of course also. To others they throw thierself into some civil or religious life to try and make up for all of what they precieve as a evil of their past life.

Others see doctors and get sleeping medication, depression medication and more. And live a zombie life on drugs.

Others find illegal drugs and do the same.

What I can suggest is either a professional couselor, and also consider a priest, esp some of the Anglican ones you have in the UK, many are not all that religious to be an issue. With that many will cousel while perhaps religious based but not to the point of pushing a faith,

[britster]

I firstly want to say give yourself a pat on the back because you're a very brave person to do what you do. And as for the PTSD maybe this can help?

Treatment aims to reduce symptoms by encouraging you to recall the event, express your feelings, and gain some sense of control over the experience. In some cases, expressing grief helps to complete the necessary mourning process. Support groups, where people who have had similar experiences can share their feelings, are very helpful.

People with PTSD may need to treat depression, alcohol or substance abuse, or related medical conditions before addressing symptoms of PTSD. Behavioral therapy is used to treat avoidance symptoms. This can include being exposed to the object that triggers your symptoms until you become used to it and no longer avoid it (called graded exposure and flooding).

Medicines that act on the nervous system can help reduce anxiety and other symptoms of PTSD. Antidepressants, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as fluoxetine (Prozac), can be effective in treating PTSD. A doctor should monitor you if you take these drugs, because they can have side effects. Sedatives can help with sleep disturbance. Antianxiety medicines may be useful, but some types, such as benzodiazepines, can be addictive.

Goodluck with everything

[Choux]

I have read statistics that show that American soldiers come back from Iraq/Afghan with emotional problems at the high rate of 1/4 to 1/5th of the returnees. I don't know about English soldiers.

You have to remember that you were taught to kill within a tightly knit group of men who lived in a hostile environment. Not to kill could have meant the death of your "brothers".

Get your counselling and talk about your feelings... leave nothing out. Inside all of us is that wonderful core of who we were in childhood, and that remnant will save us all if we give it time and opportunity. :)

DON'T start medicating yourself with alcohol or illegal drugs. This is something you just have to live through and suffer for awhile.

You will make it with help and some time.

[RussellBeard]

Try vipassana meditation - its not a religious thing - its ten day retreat / silent meditation with simple breathing excersises which allows you time to re experience negative memories and accept that the actions which led to those knots of distress that you carry around at the time could not have been avoided - there fore you accept them with non judgemental mind - and with that the suffering that yo continue to cause yourself by re-living these traumas every night will pass.. the idea is that over the course of the ten days you learn to accept that everything is imperminant - everything will pass and make way for something else.. that means me and you and everyone you know - and even the nightmares that plague you and feel like they will never end..

The vipassana thing is hard - there is no talking or eye contact for ten days - and in the silence you will come face to face with things you never knew you remembered but ultimately it's a very liberating experience.. yo can find out about it on line its free and there are courses to do it all over the world..

Good luck man!