[HELLOKITTY31]

I have been with my man for 3 1/2 years and he was great in the first of it now he want to sit around the house and watch TV and sports and talk to his friends.we have all together 5 girls.I do more for the girls then he does what can that tell you? I like to get out sometimes and do things as a family is that so bad? He wants to stay home that's it! He work and I work too.I want to go out with him and spend sometime just me and him but he only does that when he wants too.why!! Its all about him not me or the girls why! I try to talk to him but he will tell me to stop thinking about yourself and I'm not thinking about me I'm thinking about us and our girls. I'm trying so hard to keep this family together but it is so hard when you have a man that don't help. I think I can do without a man in my life lol!! I do everything for him I don't know why but I do.But he going to tell me that all I do is think about how do I think about me when I think about everybody else.I work come home cook take care of the girls clean house wash clothes , etc. But all he has to do is sit on his butt when he gets home.We don't have sex no more sometime when he wants it.Why do men do that? He told me why he don't do it it is because of his age he is 35 that's not old at all I'm 31.Please help me out .I love this man a lot and I want this this to work out.

[donf]

Sometimes some of us guys actually believe that the "King of the Castle" mentality. We forget that we have changed our life style from single to family.

Start by pulling him back by planning things to do that as a family don't involve him, but could if he decides to tag along. Personally, I like math and history (engineering history) I enjoy seeing the evolution things.

If my lady wanted me to tag along, she would plan something like a trip to the Science Museum and during the event would remind me several times just having me along with the family felt good.

How did you get him to notice and be with you before you started living together.

[squeaks77]

Completely ignore him. Don't talk to him, don't tell him dinner is ready, don't buy what he needs at the store. When his dumba$$ starts to whine about you ignoring him, tell him that's how he makes you feel. Oh and start a hobby that gets you out of the house. Don't ask his permission, tell him you're going to be out every Wednesday or whatever and he's in charge of the girls that night.

[talaniman]

I love this man a lot and I want this this to work out.

It will work out when you stop expecting him to do what you want. I don't mean that in a bad way, so don't bite my head off. He is who he is, but he is not responsible for your happiness. You and the girls, can do what ever you want to have fun, and you can do whatever you want to enjoy your own time. As far as housework goes, my gosh he can cook for himself (leaving you even more time for yourself) do his laundry, and whatever else he has to, and if he doesn't he will starve. So what. The whole point is to build a life that you enjoy, and let him sit, and be whatever. After a while he will either want to share in your happiness or... again, whatever. In the meantime your enjoying your time, and seeing the girls grow, and he can make his own decisions. That's a lot better than being mad at him, or nagging, or even arguing. Try it.