[abbii_x]

I just found out I'm 1 and half months pregnant

I'm 15! I always wanted kids and I don't agree with abortion!

I'm not with the guy I slept with it was at a party and we both had a bit too much too drink and he's one of those guys that every girls wants too be with and he just use girls!

I didn't care at the time because I didn't have any feelings for m but now there's more and I don't know how too tell him!

And I can't even think about telling my mum!


Please help

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

My dear, what would you like help with?

Sooner or later your mother is going to notice changes with you and she's going to ask. I would get it over with and tell her.

Since you want this child let her know that you are prepared to take full responsibility for the child meaning financially and emotionally. And because you are 15, I suggest getting a part time job to help pay for baby expenses.

[ScottGem]

The first thing is to tell your parents. They can then help you deal with the rest of it.

If this guy is like you say, then he is not going to want to be a part of your child's life. But you need to put his feet to the fire. He needs to know there is a responsibility that goes with spreading his seed.

[mafiaangel180]

Well... first off, talk to your mom! And you knew exactly how this guy was... and you aren't going to be the one to change him. No doubt he won't even want the kid.

And a word of advice, if you keep this child... for crying out loud, when it's 15... keep him/her at home. They will have no business going to drinking parties where they will run into this type of problem.

[Marriedguy]

I really don't like answering this post because I have to fight every fiber of my being not get upset.

Your 15 years old and pregnant I'm just going to ignore the fact that you misspelled that word. Education system is failing us.

Apparently, you decided that you were old enough to have sex, in assume that you were smart enough to use a condom and that perhaps that condom broke. Inspect the condom after intercourse every time because if it was to break you get go to a clinical and get a spermicide and destroy the sperm before it could impregnate you. Also, you should always have two levels of protection example birth control pill and condoms.

All of the above is crying over spilled milk

What do you do now? You don't agree with abortion but you believe in having sex with people that you don't really care about? This is kind of backwards.

I'm prochoice and in my opinion is one of the pregnancies that would warrant it. You're too young; the male has nothing to do with you and will not want anything to do with the child. You haven't finished school and your probably have no job. This boy probably hasn't finished school, and he probably is unemployed as well.

But it's a women's choice and if you choose to continue the pregnancy then here is what you do.

1. Tell your mother NOW! Tell her that you had sex and that you are pregnant and your intentions are to keep the child. If you mother decides that she no longer wants you to stay there. There are safe houses that you can go to. Your mother will find out eventually don't prolong it and its better that she knows right away she could support you, but that is her decision.

2. Start on a prenatal care right away. You have to give your baby chance to be healthy. Hiding the pregnancy is just selfish it's not about you anymore it's about you unborn child.


3. Call the father of this unborn child and you say “hello, John I went to the clinic got a pregnant test and I'm 1 ½ months pregnant I made the decision that I want to keep the child. I'm giving you the opportunity to be a part of the unborn child's life from the beginning. If you don't want to be a part of the child's life that's OK however you have to pay child support. Have this guys first, last name, home address get it before this conversation takes place.

[Scleros]

I'm upset too, but not for the reason you think. While all of you are busy being angry at her, how about being angry at her parents as well, or even the dysfunctional school system? Last I heard, children were the parent's responsibility until age 18.

I swear, many of the adults on this forum have their heads buried in the sand and are in denial regarding the reality of the lives of teens today. Perhaps this U.S. Teen Sexual Activity Report will open some eyes. 25% have a STD!

Children make bad decisions without proper guidance. I don't know her education regarding sex, but I do know that the education I received in school and elsewhere was paltry at best. Any anger here would best be refocused on correcting the social issues that led to a 15 year old getting pregnant at a drinking party instead of blasting her. She doesn't bear the blame alone.

[Marriedguy]

I agree with you guys but didn't want the thread to go off topic.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...tml#post986047

[MOWERMAN2468]

Wait a minute everyone, most of you say, tell your mom. Where was mom when her 15 yr old daughter was out drinking at a party and having sex? Perhaps she can find her to tell her she is going to be a grandma.
Try and be there for your unborn child, and know what they are up to when they go out, and perhaps keep them under your wing a little longer in their early teens. Or you may end up being a grandmother at an early age as well.

[Alty]

The only thing I can think to add is one other option that hasn't been mentioned. You said that you don't agree with abortion, what about adoption? There are tons of wonderful people out there that are financially and emotionally ready to take care of a child, but aren't able to have one. Talk to a counsellor, exhaust all options. You are only 15, you are no where near ready to have a child, but the fact is that you are pregnant. Don't be afraid to find out about adoption, it is an option.

I guess you found out the hard way what the consequences are to having sex. Now it's time to be mature and take care of the life growing inside you and think about that life after it arrives. Wanting something and being responsible for something are two different things.

Good Luck.

[Marriedguy]

The reason why I didn't coming down hard on the parents I think it's some what unfair. I will agree that parent(s) actions are a factor but the majority of the blame is on this abbii and her little boy friend.

I'm assuming that mother of this young woman has not created an environment in which this 15 year old believes having sex or children at this age is acceptable.

This girl knows she is wrong this why she asked how does she tell mother.

Like most parents they assume the best in there children, in the mothers eyes abbii x is trust worthy and does the right thing.

This party could have been a cut party or the girl could lied and said that she was sleeping over at a friend's house. The parent(s) at this friends house is allows her daughter to go to a party or maybe that children has lied to her parents.

We can argue that the parents could keep a closer eye on these kids but really it would be pointless kids are having sex in school bathrooms, stairwells, behind dumpers, in livings rooms, in kitchens while parents on home thinking that they are in kitchen getting a snack. Honestly, what are parents to do quit there jobs and chaperon there children every where?

At age sixteen I remember sleeping the night out of a girlfriend's house. It was a two family home and one sister owned the bottom floor and other the top. I was friends with my girlfriend's cousin how lived downstairs. So I would tell my mother I was sleeping over his house and that was OK. Technically, I was however I would not tell my mother that the girl I was dating was living in the same house. We didn't have sex but we definitely could have. We just slept downstairs on the living room couch and before daylight came she went back to her room.
I remember buying condoms for the local store with no problem. I brought them because there were no more condoms in my mothers top dresser draw. My mother indirectly knew her teenagers were having sex because that magic draw was re-stocked with condoms and we never was asked were we having sex.

As soon as these children have the ability to have sex I think we should give them the talk. Make sure they have birth control and condoms. You can't be sure your teenager will start having sex but you can help make sure if and when they do, they do it safely.

The idea that they shouldn't be having sex and parents are responsible for making sure they don't is not working.

[o NitSuA o]

Personally I think that you are extremely foolish for 1) having sex at such an early age 2) having sex without protection 3) drinking at parties and 4) being pregnant and not being able to spell it.

You need to tell your parents, tell the guy and get an abortion. You do not want to go through being pregnant right now trust me on that one. If were up to me abortion would be the only option, you need to think about the consequences of your actions before you do something abii.

[Alty]

personally i think that you are extremely foolish for 1) having sex at such an early age 2) having sex without protection 3) drinking at parties and 4) being pregnant and not being able to spell it.

you need to tell your parents, tell the guy and get an abortion. you do not want to go through being pregnant right now trust me on that one. if were up to me abortion would be the only option, you need to think about the consequences of your actions before you do something abii.

It's not up to you, it's up to the OP. Telling her to get an abortion is not helpful.

There are allot of options available. No you shouldn't have gotten yourself into this situation, but that's a mute point, to late now to have the abstinence is best talk. The fact is that you are pregnanct and you don't have to go through this alone. Tell your mom and go talk to someone about your options. Make an informed decision that you can live with.

[maryann222]

I have been in the same position as you
I was the same age and everything.
I didn't want to tell my mum
When I was younger she always used to say if it happened
Id be out the house
But she found out in the end from the school I was at.
I can remember it now so clearly
It was close to my gcse's and I made myself ill with all the stress
But when she found out I felt a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders
And everything got sorted a lot quicker
Also a lot closer to her.
Tell her sweetie it's the best thing to do
And get everything sorted
Good luck.

[o NitSuA o]

It's not up to you, it's up to the OP. Telling her to get an abortion is not helpful.

There are allot of options available. No you shouldn't have gotten yourself into this situation, but that's a mute point, to late now to have the abstinence is best talk. The fact is that you are pregnanct and you don't have to go through this alone. Tell your mom and go talk to someone about your options. Make an informed decision that you can live with.

How is telling her to get an abortion not helpful? Since when does a 15 year old know what is best for them, especially her who had sex and got pregnant in the first place. It is time for someone else to take over for now because she is headed down the wrong path fast.

Get the abortion and be over with it. Hopefully you will learn a lesson from this.

[achampio21]

Hello. I am fairly new this site and have been nervous about throwing my opinion out there but this made me forget my nervousness. So here is my opinion of what you should do...

You are 15 years old and scared to death because you found out you are pregnant. I seriously doubt that the night with the young man in question was your first time putting yourself in that situation. So that in itself says a lot obout your maturity. Which is really okay because you are only 15 years old. But in all of the outcomes that COULD have happened that night i.e. went to jail, got so drunk you went into coma, got in car with someone driving drunk and got killed or killed someone, you wound up pregnant. A LIFELONG commitment to your baby and the man that helped you create it.

So with that said I want you to fully understand what you have inside your womb...
That baby depends on you 100% for survival. It depends on you for safety, food, and nutrients to help it grow. But pregnancy is the EASY part. Once that baby is born and it is no longer quiet and only has to be fed when you feed yourself. You have to change it's diaper, make it bottles every single time it becomes hungry. You have to soothe it when it becomes upset, you have take it to the doctor on a REGULAR basis and pay for it. You have bathe it and clean it. You have get up every 2,3, or 4 hours whe he/she cries and try to figure out just the heck is wrong this time. And you have to REMAIN CALM throughout every single crying fit. And that is just the beginning and if the child is healthy. If you have a colic baby or a baby with down syndrome or heart problems or breathing problems etc they all require MUCH MUCH more care and attention.

You will spend anywhere from $10 to $50 on one single can of formula which will feed that one baby for about 3 - 7 days. You will spend anywhere from $10 to $30 dollars on any one package of diapers which will last for about 7 - 12 days. Then add clothing and baby shampoo and lotion and rash crème and antibiotics and baby tylenol And you are spending A LOT OF MONEY!

Then as the baby grows the bill to care for them doubles and triples and quadruples. At 15 years old you can only work minimal hours and will usually make minimal pay. I am positive you could get welfare but that doesn't cover every cost. You will also need to keep in mind that if the father of the baby is a dead beat from the jump he will remain a dead beat until he is around 30 years old and sometimes even then they are hopeless. So I would not count on child support. And in most cases the courts will not lock someone up for not paying until they are SERIOULSY past due and even then you won't get any money.

So with all of that said... and I do apologize for going so indepth but I believe that a baby deserves that much, you need to decide if you are going to be able to do it. If your mother can't control you and obviously has no problem with you at 15 not being at home regardless of how much you whine and complain then I wouldn't look to her for very much support either. And your friends... well you can pretty much tell them goodbye because your life of drinking and partying with no consequence to anyone else is OVER and you never even got to go to the bar legally.

And if you think for one second that you will raise a good child and be a good parent and still party and have a good ol time out with your friends every night or every weekend YOU ARE DEAD WRONG. Because that baby is YOUR responsibility. And leaving it with strangers just so you can have a "good time" or even with someone you know to have a fun night is not what a "responsible" parent would do.

I am 26 years old and I have three children. 7 years, 2 years, and almost 1. I haven't had a "good time" out in 5 years. AND I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE WITH MY KIDS!! But it is hard and it is stressful to the point where you want to scream and break things. But every single time I look into the faces of my babies I KNOW it is worth every dime spent and every night home and every brain cell lost!

Good luck and God Bless

[Alty]

how is telling her to get an abortion not helpful? since when does a 15 year old know what is best for them, especially her who had sex and got pregnant in the first place. it is time for someone else to take over for now because she is headed down the wrong path fast.

get the abortion and be over with it. hopefully you will learn a lesson from this.

Abortion is one of the options, it's not the only option. Telling her to just get an abortion and be over with it isn't helpful. Yes, she's only 15, no she's not mature enough to raise a child by herself, and I never once said that she had to keep the child, although that is also one of her options.

She's young, she made a mistake, she got caught. Now it's time to stop thinking only of herself and start thinking about the life that is growing inside of her. She has to make a decision. If it is abortion then she should decide soon, the longer she waits the worse it will be, if she decides adoption then she should start looking in to that, if she decides to keep it then she has to come up with a plan.

She has to tell her mom, she can't go through this alone, no matter what she decides. And even though she is only 15, this discission is still hers to make, no one else's.

[ScottGem]

how is telling her to get an abortion not helpful? since when does a 15 year old know what is best for them, especially her who had sex and got pregnant in the first place. it is time for someone else to take over for now because she is headed down the wrong path fast.

get the abortion and be over with it. hopefully you will learn a lesson from this.

Because you can't "tell" her what to do. You can offer alternatives, but you can't tell people what to do.

Nor may getting an abortion "be over with it". Getting an abortion can be a very emotional thing and some women suffer severe depression from it.

[o NitSuA o]

Abortion is one of the options, it's not the only option. Telling her to just get an abortion and be over with it isn't helpful. Yes, she's only 15, no she's not mature enough to raise a child by herself, and I never once said that she had to keep the child, although that is also one of her options.

She's young, she made a mistake, she got caught. Now it's time to stop thinking only of herself and start thinking about the life that is growing inside of her. She has to make a decision. If it is abortion then she should decide soon, the longer she waits the worse it will be, if she decides adoption then she should start looking in to that, if she decides to keep it then she has to come up with a plan.

She has to tell her mom, she can't go through this alone, no matter what she decides. And even though she is only 15, this discission is still hers to make, no one elses.

Getting caught is a severe understatement of what pregnancy really is. There is no way that she can take care of a baby at age 15, especially with the characteristics of her lifestyle that she has described on this forum. I agree that she has to tell her mom no matter what, and that it is her decision; but she was asking for the advice and I gave her my own opinion on the matter along with everyone else here.

[sweetsweetlatin]

I just found out im 1 and half months pregnant

im 15! i always wanted kids and i dont agree with abortion!

im not with the guy i slept with it was at a party and we both had a bit too much too drink and hes one of those guys that every girls wants too be with and he just use girls!

i didn't care at the time because i didn't have any feelings for m but now theres more and i don't know how too tell him!

and i can't even think about tellin my mum!


please help

Hi there I know what your going through. I was 15 when I got pregnant with my now 10 yr old son. Man I can even remember what I felt like... I was a party girl to the fullest. Nothing could stop me. I remember I came home from school one day and all I could do was pee pee pee! I was in the bathroom when my mom came in and she asked me what the hell was wrong wit me? Mom I just can't stop peein every 5 min! She looked at me and shouted'" you best not be pregnant" What that was the first I ever heard about posablly being pregnant you know? Sure enough I had some buddys pick me up went to the Kmart (stole) a test and it read... PREGNANT!!

At first in my little old town no one in school was pregnant! Im 15 the father of my unborn and I just split up? I didn't tell him for awhile, my mom first his mom 2nd and then we faced together with my dad before I told Nick. He thought it was a joke and so did I until I seen my body change my belly get bigger and then soon enough I felt him move inside me.

I can go on forever sweetheart but what it boils down to is that kids are NOT a mistake God is NEVER wrong... This baby was an accident in your doing but a gift from God... in a few years from now you'll see where I'm coming from. It'll be OK its hard yes but its worth it and hay don't forget to ask for help and its OK to cry and ask Him why? He (God) Knows you sweetheart he can never give us too much that we can't handel. There's help out there use it to your and your baby's advantage... so take a couple days to soak it up, seek some advice and don't go through this alone... Us single moms are everywhere... Good luck babes and think of that baby. What will he/she look like? The day comes quick when that little one looks at you and says mama I love you. That's a mothers payback... No matter what age!

Here if you need it...

[Alty]

getting caught is a severe understatement of what pregnancy really is. there is no way that she can take care of a baby at age 15, especially with the characteristics of her lifestyle that she has described on this forum. i agree that she has to tell her mom no matter what, and that it is her decision; but she was asking for the advice and i gave her my own opinion on the matter along with everyone else here.

Did you read her post? She says that she is against abortion. You are telling her to get an abortion. That's why you are not being helpful.

My point is that she does have other options, do I have to go through the list yet again?

You have a right to your opinion, but all you did was say "Get an abortion", not, in my opinion your best option is abortion. You didn't give any other option either, just abortion. She's against that option.

Are you understanding what I'm saying now?