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truesbaby · Mar 28, 2008, 11:08 PM

Hi I lost the man I was seeing in February he passed away from liver failure and was in a lot of pain . I know that it was blessing for him to die with the pain he was in, but yet I cnt help wanting him here with me I miss him so much and having a hard time letting him go. I talk to him evry night before I go to sleep here's my question or questions does he know how much I miss him etc and can he hear me when I talk to him

starbuck8 · Mar 28, 2008, 11:45 PM

Oh honey, I'm truly sorry for your loss. Please keep on talking to him. He WILL hear you and comfort you. He isn't in pain anymore, and he doesn't want you to be in pain either.

He understands that you miss him, but I know that he wants YOU to know that he will be right there with you and help you through this. He would want you to be strong for him. He knows that he won't be forgotten because of you and the people who loved him.

I don't know what caused his liver failure, but I think it might help you to try and help other people who are going through the same thing as he was. It will bring you closer to him and give you peace. Just keep on talking to him, and he will lead you in the right direction.

God Bless, and keep your eyes and ears open to the signs that he will send you.

Take care of yourself!

truesbaby · Mar 28, 2008, 11:50 PM

Thank you I believe right now I need a sign from him so I can have some closure to his passing I'm doing the best I can and I will always talk to him before I go to sleep it helps me to sleep at night thank you for the comfort I needed

starbuck8 · Mar 28, 2008, 11:55 PM

You are very welcome. Just look for little signs like butterflies, birds, ringing phones when there is no one on the other end, or just something you know he used to like that catches your attention. That will keep him in your heart, and you will be able to move forward.

anglblu_eyes32 · May 17, 2008, 05:44 AM

I lost my boyfriend two weeks ago today. May 3, 2008. I too am having such a difficult time with it. His death was completely unexpected. It's really hard getting through each day especially when we had our own little routine since we lived two hours apart. We'd email in the evenings and text message until we went to bed. We spent weekends together. Trying to fill those empty spaces seems impossible. I still look at my phone for his messages. It hurts so much and I cry a lot too. It's not something I can control and happens often without warning. I keep being told it will get better, but that is hard to see or feel at this moment. I don't have family near to help me through. On top of that I'm a single mom of three, two have special needs and at times everything just seems so overwhelming. Just thought sharing similar pain may help someone else. This is an experience I've never hd before and am struggling to get through each day. I don't have words of advice, but I am a willing listener...

Fr_Chuck · May 17, 2008, 08:22 AM

I am so sorry for the loss all of you had had, it is so hard and the loss will always be there and so will their memories. We have to remember that we honor their memories in our life. They would want us to be happy and slowly move on, just as we would had it been reversed

starbuck8 · May 17, 2008, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by anglblu_eyes32

I lost my boyfriend two weeks ago today. May 3, 2008. I too am having such a difficult time with it. His death was completely unexpected. It's really hard getting through each day especially when we had our own little routine since we lived two hours apart. We'd email in the evenings and text message until we went to bed. We spent weekends together. Trying to fill those empty spaces seems impossible. I still look at my phone for his messages. It hurts so much and I cry alot too. It's not something I can control and happens often without warning. I keep being told it will get better, but that is hard to see or feel at this moment. I don't have family near to help me through. On top of that I'm a single mom of three, two have special needs and at times everything just seems so overwhelming. Just thought sharing similar pain may help someone else. This is an experience I've never hd before and am struggling to get through each day. I don't have words of advice, but I am a willing listener.....

I'm so sorry for your loss also. This has to be very hard for you, especially without your family nearby. It was very kind of you to offer to listen to someone who has had a recent loss also. I think you could both give each other some support at the times when it seems so unbearable. I wish I had some magic words, but I'm willing to listen too, should you ever need an ear. God Bless!

anglblu_eyes32 · May 17, 2008, 09:04 AM

Thank you for your kind words and offer of support. It is much needed. Various types of bereavement are covered all over the internet, but losing a boyfriend doesn't seem as prominent. It's just as hard as any other loss I would think. Though again, my experience with it is very limited.

I have three reasons I have to get through this and I know that I will need help in doing so. In helping others I feel as if I help myself. Not to say I don't have my moments of crying without reason and feeling sad and depressed. I turn to message him about my day and it hits me he is gone. So some days each moment is a battle. I have found that my small circle of friends is a gift. Without them I probably would have crawled into bed and not come out.

Anyway, I know I need to reach out in order to help myself get up and helping someone else who is feeling my pain will in turn help me. I know there is hope that one day it won't hurt so much I also know that my love was always more concerned for me than for himself and he wouldn't want anything bad for me. Thus I know he would want me to live, not just exist. It's the figuring how to do that without him that's so hard...

starbuck8 · May 17, 2008, 09:30 AM

It does help to talk to other people who can give you the support you need to get through this difficult time. Just because he was only your boyfriend, doesn't make it any less difficult to deal with.

May I suggest that you go and read the advice given in another thread? The post is by Bradysmama17, I believe it's the thread right under this one. Read what HistorianChick has to say. She has a very good coping technique that may be helful to you.

I know it's early and still very fresh for you, so just keep on reaching out when you feel like you need to. I'm sure for awhile it will mostly be the times that you used to talk with him. I can understand how that automatic response to check your phone, to see if you've got a message, or turn to message him would be such a hard thing.

Again, I'm so sorry to hear what you are having to go through.

Alty · May 17, 2008, 10:22 AM

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, and the loss of others on this thread.

Losing someone you love is never easy, whether they suffered a long illness or died suddenly, neither scenario is easy.

Talk to them, keep a journal where you can express how you are feeling everyday. Talk to friends, even if you are saying the same thing over and over. Time does heal all wounds. You will never forget, you will never stop missing that person, but you will find happiness and purpose in your life again, I promise you.

We are all here if you need to talk, to vent, to scream, to cry. Tell stories about the happy times you shared together, one day, instead of tears, you will smile at those memories and realize that you are a better person because you had that person in your life, even though it hurts that they are gone.

Take care, and God bless you through this difficult time.