[Janice1951]

My mother sent me a Valentine card and enclosed a cover from a Farm Bureau Magazine which had a picture of one of my male classmates and his family. They were standing in front of their expensive home and displaying a new Suburban. I am very happy for my classmate and his success and have no reason to be jealous. When I called to thank her for the Valentine she kept making a big deal out of the magazine cover. "Well what did you think of it ?", " They have a new Suburban " , "They sure have a big nice house. ", "They sure have pretty grandchildren. " , " He sure has his fingers in alot of pies . " First of all, he is just one of many successful friends I have and on the other things she said, I too have pretty grandchildren and my husband is a success is one of the best in his line of work. As to the other things, I do not want a big house or fancy car. I can not understand why she would do this (You should have heard the tone of her voice... mocking almost. ) I think maybe she was trying to make me jealous of my friend . My husband thinks maybe my mom is jealous of my friend herself. Also, every time my husband or son , or I have special news, she just says something sarcastic or "hummmmm" or she will down stage it with something along the line that my sister has done. She once lied and said there would be no family gathering at Christmas then called the next day after Christmas and bragged about how wonderful the gathering had been and gave a detailed report of everything each person gave her ( nothing about my gift ). When guests visit her home she points out my adult siblings' former bedrooms as " Billy's room " ," and Lynn's Room ". My room is called "That Other Room . ". I have always been a loving daughter and tried my best to honor her. I once asked her when I was a teen, " Why do you never smile at me ? " Her response was , Do you think you are anything to smile about. ' I am considering cutting ties with her. She burdens my spirit and rains on my parade.

[s_cianci]

I don't know if cutting all ties is the answer. Maybe you should back down a bit. If she confronts you about your lack of contact with her then you can candidly discuss all of your concerns with her including the details you've shared with us here. Making her acutely aware of her behavior towards you and how it's impacted you may get her to tun over a new leaf. Talking with your adult siblings about it could be a good idea as well and getting their take on it.

[shygrneyzs]

Then quit letting her rain on your parade. You do not, do not, have to engage in her petty sniping. You do not have to listen, you can walk away from her when she starts. You can tell her if she does not have any nice to say, not to say anything at all. You can tell her she is not welcome in your home if all she can come up with is how successful everyone else is while ignoring your own success. In short, you do not have to be her target and you can stop being a victim. Yes, you can.

Cut the ties. Be done with her and her spitefulness. You have your own family. Concentrate on them and be happy with them. Be determined to not repeat any of your Mom's nastiness towards people in your life. Overcome it and you will have the best success of them all.

[N0help4u]

Sounds like she wishes you married him instead.
Tell her that is nice and you hope he is as happy with his life as you are with yours.
You probably should cut down on or even cut out communicating with her since she treats you like a nobody.
She sounds like negative energy and her emphasis is on material things.

[gorgeouslady]

My mum was very jealous of me too and really negative towards me.you need to cut her off immediately else she will make your life miserable as time goes on.you need to take care of yourself and your family and make your life happy and burden free.if she says you don't make her smile and deep down in your heart you know you are good to her,then you need to cut ties with her because from experience no matter what you do to or for her,she will never smile with or at you.

[Alty]

Every time she is nasty be overly sweet. If she comments about so and so's new house or car say something sweet like "Yes, isn't it wonderful, he's made such a success of himself, I hope he's as happy as I am." After a while she'll realize that she can't get a reaction from you and hopefully she'll stop.

It sounds like your mother is jealous of you and your happiness. I don't know your family history, but it sounds like she is angry over something real or imagined that she blames you for. Don't let it get you down, you have your own family and that is what counts. Act like she is just an annoying fly and shoo her away.

I feel for you and wish you all the best. Good luck.