[That1grl]

My ex and I were together for 2 1/2 years before we broke up. We had a really good relationship up until the day we decided to take a break. He actually broke it off with me. He said it was because of our age difference, and that we were at different stages in our life. I'm 21 and he's 28. He said the main reason was because I was going out and drinking too much and he wasn't into that anymore. He also said that if we would have met at different times things would be different. After we broke up we remained friends and we even hooked up a couple times after that. I decided to move away because I couldn't stand not being with him, and I thought that it would be so much easier if I didn't see him on a daily basis. I had moved about an hour away from him, but I still talked to him daily on the phone. I soon found out that I was pregnant with our child. I decided to move back 6 months into my pregnancy and when I told him he kind of freaked out on me. He told me I was ruining his life and I was going to ruin our child's life and he was trying to convince me that I had to get an abortion. I gave him a few days to cool off and told him that I was going to keep it. He then asked me if I had been seeing anyone else, I told him no and asked him the same question. He said no. I found out about 2 weeks later that He was dating a girl that he was working with. I guess they had just became official. She's 21 too but she doesn't have any friends so she doesn't go out. And the werid thing is, is that she's everything he said he never wanted. He's a health freak and she's not, He's a clean organized person and she is a mess. She looks like a man, (and I'm not just saying that, she really does). She also tries to be just like me. When they first met her hair was blonde, she then was asking his friends what I looked like, after she saw a picture of me she dyed her hair brown. Not only that but I was just finishing up my degree as a medical assistant and I found out 2 weeks ago that now she's going to school to be a medical assistant. She also gave me a $100 gift card to a pretty nice store before I had even met her. After I had our son, I thought that maybe things might change. We both still get along really well and we are pretty good friends. His parents love me and invite me over for dinner at least twice a week. I just don't know if I'm still holding on to something that I shouldn't be or if I should just move on?

[jolienoire]

First off, I know you may have feelings for him which is totally normal, and you are probably concerned about being with the father of your child, which is also normal, What I can tell you however is that no matter what happens he will always be in your life because you share a child together. The fact that this girl is trying to be like you is irrelevant. If he wanted in fact to be with you he would. I don't think your expectations are at all out of the norm, but I must tell you that as long as the two of you take care of your child, and are happy just as friends then let it be. There is no what if, or trying to make something happen that if it was meant to be it will. A child doesn't keep people together unfortanetly, but most importantly is that two parents are being positive around the child. It makes it pleasant for everyone. However your question about getting back together is a question that no one can answer as time is the only thing that can tell you that. Things can change or they may not change. I don't want to give you false hopes, or tell you to move on because it is definitely easier said than done, I can tell you that to not expect too much out of it, that way you want be disappointed take it for what it is an focus on being the best mother you can be.. a few things can happen, you will get over him, he will want to be with you, or you will eventually meet someone.. all I can say is take one day at a time. I have two children, and I was married, divorced and my husband had came back he wanted to work it out but by that time I didn't want him. He had too many relationships while we were seperated/divorced and eventually he got married, and I met someone who is wonderful to me and my children. There is no animocity and we all get along that is the most important.. So Just take it one day at a time, and don't expect too much and definitely don't try to hard. Give him time and space, and be the best mother you can be!