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TanyaH101 · Feb 17, 2008, 09:08 PM

How easy is it nowadays to prove an unfit mom?? I live in Manitoba, Canada. And what are things that would have to be proven in order to prove a mom unfit?

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 17, 2008, 09:12 PM

There are just too many things to list.

Abandonment, drug/alcohol abuse, physical/mental/verbal abuse of the child, deprivation of necessities.

There's so much more. Is someone trying to prove you unfit or you are trying to prove someone else?

TanyaH101 · Feb 17, 2008, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by TanyaH101

How easy is it nowadays to prove an unfit mom??? I live in Manitoba, Canada. And what are things that would have to be proven in order to prove a mom unfit?

Well my mom is just being a retard right now, because she moved sooo far away from us and she doesn't like the guy that I am with so she's threatening me. I am by FAR unfit, my kids are sooo spoiled, its just stressful that my own mom is being like this to me because of her own feelings towards the guy I am with, My kids are in NO HARM what-so-ever and if I felt they were I definitely wouldn't be here.

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 17, 2008, 09:19 PM

She threatening to try to go to court and say you are an unfit parent? I think that is what you are saying. If you aren't then you should have nothing to worry about.

TanyaH101 · Feb 17, 2008, 09:28 PM

I know but its still a scary situation to be put in... Shes threatening right now just to call Child n Family services on me

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 17, 2008, 09:31 PM

I know it's scary. Tell her to go ahead, you have nothing to worry about. Maybe your confidence in the matter will shake hers.

TanyaH101 · Feb 17, 2008, 09:32 PM

Well that's what I said when she asked me if I was challenging her and I said yes I am... So that's where the conversation ended

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 17, 2008, 09:35 PM

I know I have no place to say it, but if I were you I wouldn't be worried, and I would stop talking to her for a while. Why does she not like the man you are with? Is he a danger to your children? Is that her concern?

TanyaH101 · Feb 17, 2008, 09:41 PM

No he's not a danger to my children, If he was then I wouldn't be with him. However him and my 4 yr old daughter have the whole "you're not my dad" arguments but that's to be expected I think... My daughter and my fiancé do argue quite a bit BUT never ever once has he done anything to her to hurt her in anyway. She doesn't like the fact that I am with another man and not her daddy. My daughter is lashing out for attention right now I think, she just started peeing the bed again, lying, & backtalking and I just don't know what I should do. She gets timeouts but nothing is working with her... However my 2 yr old son and my fiancé get along great!! So its really hard to watch this and no that my daughter isn't happy because he's not her dad... I'm at the end of my ropes with knowing what to do...

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 17, 2008, 09:50 PM

I'm not good at parenting advice as I don't have children, I would suggest sitting her down and have a serious conversation with her though. Talk to her like she is an adult. Tell her that her daddy isn't going anywhere, he's still her daddy, and your currect boyfriend isn't trying to replace him, he just wants to help care for her and teach her new things and watch her grow up. I would assume, if put into simple terms a four year old should understand most of that. Just make sure to tell her what's going on. She deserves to know.

TanyaH101 · Feb 17, 2008, 09:52 PM

Yes that I am going to try when they come back from their dad's place in a few days. Thanks so much for the advice, I really hope it well help me deal with and cope with this "retarded" situation my mom is putting me in. Thanx:)

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 17, 2008, 10:16 PM

Your welcome. Keep us updated!

cdad · Feb 18, 2008, 03:50 PM

Have you talked to her dad about this situation ? Maybe the stress she is having is being prodded from outside and you need to check that. He may feel threatened by your new situation and unintentionally saying things that has the child confused. You may want to seek advice from a professional about " blending " a family.

Alty · Feb 18, 2008, 05:13 PM

You said that your daughter is 4, children at the age of 4 think that the world revolves around them, she will not understand if you try to approach her as if she were an adult, or talk to her like one.

How long have you and this man been together? How often does she get to see her dad? Are you asking her to accept this new man as her father?

I would make it clear to her that her daddy will always be her daddy, nothing could or will ever change that. Reassure her that if she cares about the new man she is not hurting her father or her relationship with him. Maybe a "family" trip together doing something that she finds enjoyable will help them bond. Counselling is a good idea, obviously something is distressing her if she's started wetting her bed again.

You have to realize that this is not "bad" behavior, it is normal. She is to young to understand what is going on, she's obviously confused and probably scared. She needs your love and her fathers love and support to get through this confusing time. Take things slow with her and hopefully she'll come around eventually. Good luck.