[nchyperchick]

I know there is an unwritten girl rule that says you should NEVER date your best friends ex boyfriend. Here is my case:

My best friend/roommate dated this guy for about 3 months, in which I knew the guy like 2 years before, and they broke up. He was on her nightstand before they were together though. Ever since they broke up she has not been around the apartment and we are no longer close. This was before I started dating the guy, 5 months before. I have been with the guy for 7 months now and have known him for 3 years. We are doing great, but it's still awkward between my 'former' best friend.

Its like she cut me out of her life and it is not want I want. I do not feel like I should have to choose between them. I just want things to be back to normal, I don't want to be her best friend, but we should not be enemies, I have known her for like 8 years. Its just hard because her mom is all of sudden close with my boyfriends mom and it's weird.

[HistorianChick]

Darlin, you said that you know the Best Friend Rule and yet you chose to ignore it.

One of the reasons you don't date your best friend's ex is because you value your friendship with your best friend... when you value your friendship, you don't do things that will jeapordize it.

I really don't think its fair to ask your ex-best friend to be OK with you dating her ex... or, to be all happy and jolly when she's around you. That's not fair to her.

Chalk this one up to experience. If this guy is your "Mr. Right," great. But, your friendship with your ex-best friend will never be back to what it once was... and I really don't blame her for being upset. Even if you and this guy break up down the road, you've lost something with your ex-best friend. And I'm sorry that you have lost that.

I'm sorry that this was the way it all worked out for you - but, you did admit to knowing the rule before you broke it. You said "I don't want to be her best friend, but we shouldn't be enemies..." I think this girl can tell that you didn't really value her friendship as much as she thought you did... and I'm not really sure that I'd want to try and fix your relationship if I was her.

Hope it gets better.

[talaniman]

You broke the rules, and now you pay by losing a friend. I hope he is worth it.

[PokerMoney]

Ok... You DID break the rule. But I am not one to talk. My best friend dated a guy who I had known since I was in diapers, and not to mention our families were life long friends so we were close but he was 4 years older than me. I had always been attracted to him and him to me also. So when my best friend out of the blue one day says she's dating him, I kind of had to step back. Like wow! They only dated for like a month. Then I broke the rule. BUT we have been dating a happy 1 1/2 years now. So my advice to you is that if your friend is a true friend she will not make this awkward. My best friend and I still hang out with each other and our boyfriend. We go on double dates! They only dated for 3 months so it could in NO WAY have been serious. I would tell you to sit down talk to her and tell her how you feel about the situation ask her how she feels. Because after all that's what best friends do!

[imation]

I agree with Tal, why did you acknowlage the rule but then completely ignore it? I know you don't want to choose between them... but you already have.

[talaniman]

Hmm as a guy I have lost my share of ladies, to friends, and it never made that much of a difference between us, but I guess its different with females. Generally I never dated an exes friends, despite the attraction, as it seemed to close for comfort for me. I just think there are options with the choices we make.

[ISneezeFunny]

Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with the above posts.

All I can say is... I hope he's worth it. Even if you two break up now, I'm not so sure that you and your friend will be friendly again... seeing as you "betrayed" her. Just out of curiosity, did you ask her how she felt about you two dating... before you guys started dating?