[briannamotherof3]

There's no easy way to put this one out here, but it is what it is. I dated this guy for close to 7 years, he has accepted my now 7 year old daughter as his since I was 2 months pregnant. We had a child togeather in 2003, and she passed away from illness in 2004. We went through a terribly rough time and with the influence of his parents he and I separated. He immediately started dating the girl his parents had wanted him to and I eventually moved on too. Although we are in our own relationships apart from each other we remain very close. He constantly tells me how this "girl" (he told me she is like having a child, and from things that happened, I believe him) treats him badly and he is very unhappy. We also have had relations the whole time. His girlfriend knew we were in the past, I guess she was OK with it because she stayed, but didn't realize that it never ended. As many times as I have tried he seems to have a spell over me. I started a relationship with a man of the spanish origin (not mexican) in 2006. At the time I had conceived my son I honestly wasn't that into him as far as thinking we would be togeather for the rest of our lives, but since then we have grown very close. Meanwhile I had the baby, and my ex knew both possibilities of him being and not being the father of the baby. I made the mistake of naming the baby after my boyfriend, and the baby looks nothing like him. My ex and I have discussed it and he agrees he thinks he may be the father, we are getting a dna test for assurance purposes. He doesn't seem to mind the fact that his girlfriend will know he is still being unfaithful. There's also the fact that my boyfrfiend is totally in love with the baby and would do anything for him. There's also the fact that my ex made it very clear that he had no intentions of marrying his girlfriend, and never wanted children with her because of the way she treats him. I'm confused that why he is so accepting of me having his baby if he would be in a relationship with someone else and not want kids with her? I think ill lose a lot though if the baby is my ex's because I think my boyfriend would leave me, and even though he said he woul my ex wouldn't give us another shot. Any advice?:confused:

[kp2171]

Get the test done. Deal with reality first.

As for the he won't marry her or sleeping with the ex or all this other noise... I don't have a clue. I don't think like this at all... so my frame of reference is from the way, way outside looking in.

The best I can tell you is to live in reality... get the test done and work from there... otherwise you are losing sleep over possibilities that may never happen. Seems like wasted energy.

As for the rest of the noise... both you and your ex are choosing to have a relationship while in the context of another relationship. I don't think it is healthy or wise. Don't just ask why he would do it... why would YOU do it?