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dizzy407 · Mar 10, 2007, 08:11 PM

Me and my ex have bin together about 4 yrs now off and on, since then he has had a g/f and we were still seeing each other. We always fight about silly things and telling each other that its over.The problem now is that we had twin girls about 1 month ago (wow... I know!! ) and he says that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me from the get go, but he doesn't act that way, I still love him but now I don't know what to do. Can someone help me please?

J_9 · Mar 10, 2007, 08:24 PM

Think about this. Okay?

Is this the way you want to live the rest of your life? I really hope not, because, even though we all think about it, we can't change our men. We just can't. It's not even right to try.

Now, another angle. Is this the kind of person you want to raise your twin girls with? Is the kind of role model that they can look up to? Is he the man that you would want them to marry?

You may still love him, dear, but is he truly husband and daddy material? Only you can answer that.

dizzy407 · Mar 10, 2007, 08:40 PM

He is a great dad and everything and he is also single, but I think he has given up on us and now we have family I just don't want to throw that away. I'm just really fustrated and confused.

J_9 · Mar 10, 2007, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by dizzy407

He is a great dad

Originally Posted by dizzy407

i think he has given up on us

Think about what you said there.

That is contradictory.

If he were a great dad, he would have married you, he would not have had another girlfriend, and he would not have given up on you all.

A great dad takes the responsibility of children, a great dad loves their mother and usually will take the responsibility, step up to the plate and marry the mother.

A great dad will not give up.

Just let that soak in.

dizzy407 · Mar 10, 2007, 08:49 PM

Your right... thanks for your help

J_9 · Mar 10, 2007, 08:52 PM

Dizzy, I don't mean to hurt you. I know this is hard, but you have to face reality. Reality is very hard to face when you are sleep deprived (is he there to help at night? Does he give you breaks?) It is hard to face when you are hormonal.

But the earlier you see this the easier it will be to move on.

Does he respect you? Does he help in any way at all?

Do you think, believe, you deserve better?

talaniman · Mar 11, 2007, 11:10 AM

Please concentrate on what's best for raising healthy children, and make sure he fulfills his financial obligations, but otherwise forget a personal relationship with him as he will be a dad for a long time, but has already told you with actions and words he is not the one for you.