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    dominiqug725's Avatar
    dominiqug725 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 23, 2008, 10:26 AM
    Should I make amends with my boyfriend's baby mother
    I wanted to make amends with her because I'm a lover not a fighter soooo I myspaced her a message saying we should act like civil adults and that our only concern should be the health and well being of the children.that we don't have to be friends and that I'm aware that he and she have to communicate because of their children but that she snad I should make amends and respect one another like adults.hell we may not even see each other.do you think that , that was a good idea to try to make peace with her?
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #2

    Jan 23, 2008, 04:08 PM
    Yeah. When I was little, my mother hated my dad's ex-wife and vice-versa. That led to a lot of tension because my mom and dad would fight over it all the time since he still had to talk to his ex wife because of my stepsister. And then because the mothers didn't get along, my stepsister didn't like my mom. And that led to even more tension.
    Trust me, you don't want your children to have to put up with what I had to. You're right, you guys dot need to be friends, but it is in everyone's best interest for you two to be civil and respectful at the very least. So no matter what her reaction is, continue to be the bigger person.
    dominiqug725's Avatar
    dominiqug725 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jan 24, 2008, 10:55 AM
    Thanks so much I just want to try to get along with her that's is all even though I'm sure as hell she does not like me at all.but it's not about her at the end of the day:D
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #4

    Jan 24, 2008, 11:17 AM
    Just act like an adult with reasonable respect. You don't have to like someone to be appropriately civil toward them.

    I know of at least one person I have a conflict with that will never, ever come around. I think she's a mean-spirited, angry person. I don't tell her this. I don't treat her badly. In some ways I feel bad for her... must suck to be so angry all the time.

    So extending an olive branch was a fine thing to do. Even if she doesn't accept, she has heard your attempt. Fences like this take a long time to mend, and you might do all the work. OK.

    Keep your respect. Don't get walked on. Be as civil as you can.

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