[PinkyPoshe04]

My boyfriend has been behaving strangely all of a sudden. He calls me about once a day now, it seems just to say he called. He started canceling dates with me. He seems preoccupied, and always checking his cell phone now. He never used to walk away from me when his phone rang, but now he is always getting calls, and asking me if he can take the call, but drops back. When I asked him about the phone calls. Wait! Let me take you there! I was with him one day, and a co-worker of his (female) came running up to his truck smiling. She did not see me at first, but he leaned out of the window and motioned her to where she didn't talk. She waved to me and left. As we drove off, his phone immediately rang. It was her! He stayed on the phone with her for about 45 minutes. I was extremely upset and hurt, but did not say anything until weeks later. He claims he does not remember the incident and proceeded to apologize. I did not say anything then because I didn't want him to think I was jealous. It was not that, I was hurt because I am with him and he chose to talk to some other woman for 45 minutes. Was I wrong?I felt like I was not important and she was. But! Where the real problem lies is that, he doesn't want me talking to male friends on the phone PERIOD! Whether I am with him or not. Is this a control issue? Could there be someone else? Help Me Please? Tired of crying!!!!!!!:(

[EIFS EXPERT]

The answer is evident. He's obviously distracted. That doesn't mean he's cheating. Why don't you tell him how you feel? If you can't communicate, what's the point?

[oneguyinohio]

Of course there could be someone else. No one can say for certain that there is, but you seem to have ample cause for concern.

With that said, what do you want to do about it? You have more than one option.

[talaniman]

If that how you wish to be treated, say nothing. If its not, time to disappear from his life.

[EuRa]

If that how you wish to be treated, say nothing. If its not, time to disappear from his life.

Once again, this is correct.

And just by asking the question, Pinky, I think you pretty much know what's going on, you just want some assurance. Well your suspicions are right. This guy isn't worth your time.

[MadamaButterfly]

Is the relationship worth saving? If it is, you should get to work and tell him everything the best way you can. However, I'm not too thrilled with the idea that he can be on the phone with another woman for 45 minutes while you are there and yet he forbids you to talk to guy friends on the phone. That right there does not bode well.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

[lavenderly]

U need to exert your authority sometimes. Why did you agree to not talk on the phone with males at the first place? If you agreed to it, he should do likewise. No calls to and from females!

If he cannot do that, let him know he is practising double standards. A relationship is all about giving and taking. If he is only taking from you what he cannot give (ie attention and commitment), then you will do well with him out of your life!

U should have told him on the spot that you are not happy with him talking over the phone for 45 minutes when you are right next to him. Whether female or male, I will be damn mad if he chats on the phone that long, especially without a word of apology or explanation when he hung up the phone.

Honey, you need to talk! Do not be afraid that he will think that you are jealous etc. Just be rational and not dramatize situations. A man who cares for u MUST listen.

[HistorianChick]

You answered your own question, Hon. "Tired of crying!!!!!!" You'll continue to be put in this situation if you don't address your concerns. Be honest with him and expect honesty in return. Once you get an answer, then decide if you want to continue to deal with it... if not, then move on.


Good luck! :)

[PinkyPoshe04]

You answered your own question, Hon. "Tired of crying!!!!!!" You'll continue to be put in this situation if you don't address your concerns. Be honest with him and expect honesty in return. Once you get an answer, then decide if you want to continue to deal with it.... if not, then move on.


Good luck! :)

I would like to say thank you for your advice, and to everyone else that posted and answer for me. Well, we spent the Friday night together and it was awkward. I was very distant even though I wanted to spend the time with him. We went to movies and dinner. I poured out my soul to him, and he went on the defensive saying that my mind is running away from me. We departed ways in the morning and I said that I wanted to spend the day with him.He told me that he had a lot of work to do on his truck, so I said OK. When we went our separate ways at 11:10am. For some reason I had suspicions that he was not going home which is an hour away. He called me at about 1:25 asking how far up the turnpike I had gotten. That was strange! I asked him where he was and he said that he was just reaching exit 8. Now this is a problem, because it takes him an hour to get home from where we were. He says he sat for 10 minutes after I left. Ok, let's just say 11:30am. Exit 8 is 15 minutes from where we are. Maybe I am just overreacting, but that does not add up. Ok, I don't trip. I go home and then call him and tell him to text me when he reaches home. He texts back saying he is not going straight home. I text back and ask if I can see him later and he says OK. I call him at 6:30pm, no answer. I text him at 7pm, no response. I am upset now. I don't hear from him until Monday night at around 6pm, when he calls and says he was very busy and was just getting a chance to call me. I didn't answer the phone! I was so hurt (maybe I am wrong). I felt so unimportant! How can you go that long without talking to someone you are supposedly in love with? I broke it off, and haven't talked to him since Saturday. I didn't want to be with someone that was not in love with me, and that I thought he had another woman. He replied," I am crazy". I also tole him to call me when he wanted to be in a relationship with only me. He has called me and text me saying that he misses talking to me, and that he is going crazy. He says that he is "In love with me". He text me a again awhile ago, but I did not respond. What should I do? Should I respond?

[PinkyPoshe04]

U need to exert your authority sometimes. Why did you agree to not talk on the phone with males at the first place? If you agreed to it, he should do likewise. No calls to and from females!

If he cannot do that, let him know he is practising double standards. A relationship is all about giving and taking. If he is only taking from u what he cannot give (ie attention and commitment), then u will do well with him outta your life!

U should have told him on the spot that u are not happy with him talking over the phone for 45 minutes when u are right next to him. Whether female or male, i will be damn mad if he chats on the phone that long, especially without a word of apology or explanation when he hung up the phone.

Honey, u need to talk! Do not be afraid that he will think that u are jealous etc. Just be rational and not dramatize situations. A man who cares for u MUST listen.

Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it.This is the only outlet that I have, and it is helping me greatly. I am a strong woman with everything else in my life, except with him. You are correct! I should have said something right away. Not doing so meant that I accepted that type of behavior. I realize that now. Thank you for making me see that. I have broken it off to see if he truly loves me, or if this is just about sex. Don't know how long to hold out, since this is my first time doing this. I want to be with him, but I also want him to be in love with me. It is not fair that I give 100% of myself to someone, who is only willing to give 40%. What do you advise?

[PinkyPoshe04]

Is the relationship worth saving? If it is, you should get to work and tell him everything the best way you can. However, I'm not too thrilled with the idea that he can be on the phone with another woman for 45 minutes while you are there and yet he forbids you to talk to guy friends on the phone. That right there does not bode well.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do!

Thank you for your advice! :) I agree! I felt so hurt and small. I can explain the feeling that went through my body. I really want this to work, but not at the sacrifice of my needs, beliefs and heart. He has to want to be with me just as much, you know? Tell me if you think that I am being over the top about the whole situation. I know you can't make a man fall in love with you, but it would be nice just to know that you do matter.

[lavenderly]

Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it.This is the only outlet that I have, and it is helping me greatly. I am a strong woman with everything else in my life, except with him. You are correct! I should have said something right away. not doing so meant that I accepted that type of behavior. I realize that now. Thank you for making me see that. I have broken it off to see if he truly loves me, or if this is just about sex. Don't know how long to hold out, since this is my first time doing this. I want to be with him, but I also want him to be in love with me. It is not fair that I give 100% of myself to someone, who is only willing to give 40%. What do you advise?

Hey PinkyPoshe04, u need to break it off for YOURSELF. Not to test whether he loves you or not. If u do that, he will once again be toying with your feelings. If he calls back later, which you mentioned that he did, will you give him a second chance?

A man like him wants the best of both worlds. If u are gone, he will want to get you back. That's his main priority now. But that does not mean he will leave the other woman (if there is one). Until he gets you back, he will then pay more attention to the other woman. It's a juggling game, if you know what I mean.

I've been double-timed. I know how it feels when the guy calls back to apologize. He said he was soooo sorry and would love me with all his heart. I trusted my instincts and told him I will give him a reply in 3 days. By Day2, my friends told me he met the other woman's parents already. Since then, they are a happy couple.

I am not suggesting that your man will be like that, but I'm trying to highlight the fact that there are guys out there who would treat you like a princess. Calls u, hugs u, apologizes if he needs to get a call, comes all the way to fetch you etc...

It's just whether you will allow yourself to experience this sort of love.