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hollylovesbrandon · Jan 10, 2008, 11:05 PM

Well, I guess this is kind of me being stupid but I'll ask it anyway. I'm 22. I have been married for just over a year to a wonderful man! Greatest man alive (besides my daddy and my grandpa) in my opinion. Anyway, I want to have a baby. I know that we are not financially stable so now is not the time. Also, I am still in college going for my Ed degree. Even though I know now is not the time I can't help but think about it everyday. My mother got diagnosed with Breast cancer when she was 35 and my sister died from a cancerous brain tumor when she was 33. I am just so worried that if I don't hurry and have my children that something will happen to me later and I will never be able to. My husband and I both know that now is not the time, were still growing up for god's sake. But, I can't help how I feel. Someone make me feel better. I'm scared about this and I feel that not many people understand.

Wondergirl · Jan 10, 2008, 11:12 PM

So you want to have children that will end up motherless? (Sorry, but that was the first thought that came to mind.)

Having a child is not about YOU. It's about the CHILD and what is best for it. What is best is you and your husband having a few years of marriage under your belts, financial stability, and you with a degree.

You may outdo Fate and live to be 86. Medical science and diagnosis are so much better now and your chances are better than your mom's and your sister's.

Now's the time to study/read up on and even take courses in early child development, etc. The more you know about how to be a good parent, the happier your children will be. Don't be like many of us mothers who wish we could start over after making all the mistakes on the first child.

hollylovesbrandon · Jan 10, 2008, 11:14 PM

I would never have the child if I didn't feel I was mental and financially prepared. I'm just scared that my time is going to run out.

Wondergirl · Jan 10, 2008, 11:18 PM

I give you permission to stop feeling that way. Anxiety can kill you and has been found to weaken the immune system and contribute to the beginning of cancer.

Throw yourself into each day. You will be doing student teaching along the way. Also, find ways to be with children, like working for a few hours at a daycare or teaching Sunday School. Do well in school. Be the best darn wife ever.

If you do all that, you will be too busy and will be enjoying life too much to be anxious.

hollylovesbrandon · Jan 10, 2008, 11:20 PM

Thank you for the support. I just know I'm being silly, I just can't help the way I feel. I am currently looking for a job dealing with children. I just love them so!

Wondergirl · Jan 10, 2008, 11:26 PM

Go to the library and get books on finger plays and the old-fashioned games people as old as I am used to play. Get books on nursery rhymes and fairy stories. Practice being a storyteller. Then, when you are with children, use some of that to entertain them. Paper-Rock-Scissors or Peas Porridge Hot clapping game or Cat's Cradle fascinate computer-age kids. Learn how to make and play with puppets. Learn how to change your voice to be different characters in a story. Be able to tell stories from memory and really get into the story that way.

Can you tell I was a teacher?