[rob453]

I am college sophomore going to university in the city. This year I moved in to college housing to live on my own and be closer to school. I live with parents in suburbs which is 25 miles away, and the only way to get there during morning rush hours I by commuter train (on hourly schedule) which takes about 1 hour. If I need to get to another campus it even takes 1h 30 min. I managed to pay for the difference between tutition and financial aid + cost for the housing by getting private student loan cosigned by my father (yuk!). Now as I came home for the winter break, my mother is very crazy about her preferences and rules. For ex. I cannot watch with peace of mind the comedy central channel, because it disturbs when I ''stupidly'' laugh. The TV also must be often literally quiet, though its day and no one sleeps. I must literally stretch my ears to hear anything.

I came home for winter break to fully rest, especially before I will work at a seasonal job.
But somehow her negative attitude to me, makes holiday breaks stressful rather than restful.
IF my college housing dorms were not closed for the break, I would probably stay over there more weeks and come just before Christmas.
ANd now here is a dillema. I have no doubt that living next year on campus or closer to campus on my own would be very beneficial, even though
It costs a lot of money. But housing is very limited for juniors and seniors and if I do not get housing next year I will have to look for
Off-campus apartment. I would move with a friend or two, or find new roomates, but my sister explain that if one of leaves, then you have to pay
More for rent.
Is there some kind of contracts that would require all resident to sign and therefore anyone who moves out have to find replacement? Any solution to that?
In addition, whether I find on-campus or off-campus housing there is another problem- I have no own money and have not yet a good job that would allow me
To earn good money to pay for rent. Therefore I need for that to take more loan, but it concerns my family, parents even though I am responsible for
Payments after years, because they are very afraid that I'll get in so big debts that they will have to later in life help me with payments.
So they kind of have an "excuse" to monitor my planning for college. I am not sure if largely for own good or mine. The parents want me to stay in house for next year
But this make me feel nervous about commuting and family-related stress. When I lived at home I never had friends, from now since I live on campuis housing,
Not only my grades improved, but also mine social life which is very important for me.

What's your advive? How would you plan for the next year if you were in my place?

[Wondergirl]

Hi, Rob!

Well, I'd probably live on campus if I could or become a roommate in an apartment. I wouldn't worry about loans at this point because I know I would earn a good salary once I'm out in the world and the loans can be paid back over ten years or more.

As for working now, have you checked for an on-campus job? Certainly there is something available?? And the college is in a fantastic location. I should think jobs should be plentiful for you, especially with the experience you've had with customer service. Around the Chicago suburbs, all the fast food places are advertising for workers and for manager trainees.

[Clough]

In my opinion here, I would think that the main thing about living away from home would be whether you will have a job so that you can afford to do that and also be able to maintain good grades by doing your coursework. It also seems like it would be less expensive for you to live with your parents for another year. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

What are the prospects for a job for you?

[Wondergirl]

I stayed on campus all summer and worked in the finance office and in food service. Would there be a possibility like that for you during the summer, and then you could slide into the same jobs during the school year?

It would be a shame to lose all that you have gained by living on campus.

[rob453]

Right now I am just going to get a seasonal job at Ruehl (owned by abercrombie). Hopefully this job will be good. I plan to get an internship or on-campus job which involves computers next quarter. If I get a permanent internship in the city, there is chance that I will also work there over summer.
Regarding this loan, I know I am confident that it will pay off over years (and the interest rate is 8%) its not cheap loan, but it is not also too expensive. However, my mother is always negative about everything, and always reminds me about that I'll acrue 200,000 loan, that Ill never pay off, that I'll go bankrupt, she even es me (sorry for language) about $700 laptop that I bough which I needed for college because I included it with student loans. She mocks everything. Its really hard to listen her. Unfortunanly whatever good happens to me, when I find new job, or when I moved to live on-campus she always expect the worst things. I feel like I need to talk to one of my psychological therapists at school.

I feel like I cannot do anything for myself that makes me happy but her not! I could refer my situation to a sad girl in the music clip Linking Park, "Numb". "Every step that I take, is another mistake to you". I feel pressured like she. My mother's control paralyzes my decisions and I feel like I have to do everything against her. I know it sounds sad. But what can cure her negativeness, pessimism?

Going back about housing. There is on-campus housing for juniors and seniors in my college but its very limited and they do every year lottery. I feel I need to prepare for looking for off-campus housing but I am not sure where I should start? How to estimate cost of utilities? I will need to do more research.

[rob453]

I stayed on campus all summer and worked in the finance office and in food service. Would there be a possibility like that for you during the summer, and then you could slide into the same jobs during the school year?

It would be a shame to lose all that you have gained by living on campus.

By the way I really appreciate your help. Thanks for answering my all posts! Its very nice from you! :)

Kiss