[ivystar14]

I have been judged when I first got with my 33 year old boyfriend and I was 20 at the time. But, Eric was different he never had kids or wanted them. Never married but in a few very long relationships. He didn't have a major girl friend for 4 years before me. All his goals are doing what he loves best music and recording. No he's not some loser either. He has produced over 20 albums and is great at what he does and worked with some major labels.
Anyway, we dated for a year and a half. In that time, we had a blast together, I learned so much. He believed in me and told me I could do what I loved which was go to school for art because I was talented. I've had other things going on in my life and he would tell me everything would be okay. I would be there for him and be his cheerleader as well.
In that time we never exchanged I love you. I felt it, but I could not say it. A few months ago, we broke up mutually for the fact that we felt like best friends rather than lovers ( we had a very healthy sex life). It is sometimes confusing to distinguish that best friends from lovers because I thought your lover was your best friend.
I finally saw him for the first time in four months. We acted exactly how we did when we were together. I woke up to him kissing me and holding me. I went home with a hole in my heart. He still does not want to be in a relationship. He says we are in different places. He just wants to do his music. He's confused. When we were together though, I was not high maintenance at all because I was busy too. I actually really got into school and started having exhibitions :) so when we did see each other it was awesome.
Im 22 now and Eric will soon be 35. Eric and I had and have respect for each other. We are best friends. I just think he's a great guy. They are hard to come by. I'm missing him a great deal as a boyfriend. I know if you love something set it free. It's so hard. What can I do?

[Elbenno]

You need to make sure he understands your feelings. But things change as well as people, perhaps Eric has moved on in his career and wants to give it 100%, but if he does get even more successful you will might eventually resent him and it would totally ruin your friendship let alone any chance of a relationship.
I think you should be honest and tell him how you feel, and give him time to think about what he wants now he knows how you feel.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see you were a young girl to fill his ego and to have fun sex with, I don't see anything hard to understand about that. But his life and heart is in his music and work, not a relastionship. He is into "long term" but not marriage since he wants to be able to walk away and not pay anything when he does, no kids so he has not long term commitment.

[enigmagnetic]

I have been judged when I first got with my 33 year old boyfriend and I was 20 at the time. But, Eric was different he never had kids or wanted them. Never married but in a few very long relationships. He didnt have a major girl friend for 4 years before me. All his goals are doing what he loves best music and recording. No hes not some loser either. He has produced over 20 albums and is great at what he does and worked with some major labels.
Anyways, we dated for a year and a half. In that time, we had a blast together, I learned so much. He believed in me and told me I could do what I loved which was go to school for art because i was talented. I've had other things going on in my life and he would tell me everything would be okay. I would be there for him and be his cheerleader as well.
In that time we never exchanged I love you. I felt it, but I could not say it. A few months ago, we broke up mutually for the fact that we felt like best friends rather than lovers ( we had a very healthy sex life). It is sometimes confusing to distinguish that best friends from lovers because I thought your lover was your best friend.?
I finally saw him for the first time in four months. We acted exactly how we did when we were together. I woke up to him kissing me and holding me. I went home with a hole in my heart. He still does not want to be in a relationship. He says we are in different places. He just wants to do his music. He's confused. When we were together though, I was not high maintenance at all because I was busy too. I actually really got into school and started having exhibitions :) so when we did see eachother it was awesome.
Im 22 now and Eric will soon be 35. Eric and I had and have respect for eachother. We are best friends. I just think hes a great guy. They are hard to come by. I'm missing him a great deal as a boyfriend. I know if you love something set it free. It's so hard. What can I do?

Set him free. You know you can't make someone be with you let alone fall in love with you. I've seen many men in their 30's do this sort of thing. They don't want marriage and prefer these type of "liberal" relationships. He's got a fear of commitment. That in itself may be a reason why you are attracted to him, because he is unavailable in that way. Your situation is not uncommon. Listen, you have to do what makes you happy, if finding someone who can be committed is what makes you happy then let go of him and keep learning and find someone who complements you and wants to be committed with you. If it will make you feel better then tell him that you need someone more committed and that you can't keep leaving yourself open to him without that. That you are going to try and find someone who can give you what you need. If he doesn't respond, which I think will be unlikely, the way you want him to then you know that he isn't going to come around any time soon. Good luck, you seem to be a good girl and aren't all that confused, just a bit entranced by the seeming grandeur of your relationship with him. He might feel right when you're with him but it's clear that he isn't fulfilling your needs. Take it for what it is. You guys had a great time but now it's time you found a more mature relationship. Good luck.