[taragraziano]

Can anyone help me? I don't know why excatly, but jealousy and insecurity has ruined everyone of my relationships so far. I don't believe I am unattractive except for my weird nose. I'm 18. I love my boyfriend who I am currently with, but he keeps trying to leave me be he says I'm a lunatic when it comes to insecurity. Here is my problem,. there are naked ( or close to it) girls everywhere! On TV, in every movie, on the computer, in magazines, in stores. What's with america and naked women? I know it sells but we are more than just sex objects! How about our brains being sexy for once. We can't do anything together because what if there's a pretty girl in the movie, or in that store? It kills me, I used to cut because of how upset it makes me. I believe that he's my boyfriend, and should see no one else's body but mine. Is that selfish? I don't even like him getting his hair cut by this girl that he used to go to because he has admitted that she is hot. Ugh . I hate watching TV, they are all pretty girls with d cups, and they're tan, and skinny. I hate it. My boyfriend doesn't really want to be with me because if I don't see him for a few hours, the first thing I ask him is, " what have you seen? Were you watching TV? Was there pretty girls in the magazine? Were you looking at girls on the computer when you hung out with your friends? I need help, I don't want these things to ruin my life anymore. What am I going to do?

[N0help4u]

You need to realize that you are the one he wants and others don't mean anything to your guy unless he GIVES you reason for you to think otherwise. Think about if there were some really great looking guy that walked past you and you looked... does that mean you want to do anything with him? Or you just found him attractive. What I do about many different types of situations with a guy is stay back and don't say anything and WATCH how they react to a situation. If they give you no reason to be upset you are only accomplishing pushing them away.
Like if you two are walking past a girl that you could get jealous over don't say anything just watch and see if how he reacts to her. Don't be obvious or obnoxious. Just notice rather than reacting. It doesn't make sense to accuse a guy of doing something they have no intentions of doing.
Also as guys have said to me a pic of a girl in a magazine or a girl in the movies doesn't really do anything for some guys because they realize that if they can't be with them what's the use they would rather be with someone they can actually have.

You need to learn trust first and accuse after you are given REAL reason to believe otherwise. Its not like he is going to turn around and follow the girl walking the other way home... and if he does you are better off if he is that unreliable.

[N0help4u]

Another thing I forgot to mention...
If you do the way I say you are giving them enough rope to hang themselves if they are a cheater; but if you are constantly accusing they just get sneakier so you are working against yourself.

[croftl]

Hi there, I know your comment is 3 years old, but I just read it and I'm in the same situation. I guess I'm glad to know I'm not the only one out there losing my mind over how our society portrays women, and yes, I know I'm overly jealous, but I have the same concerns, regardless of their relevance. I ask my boyfriend the same questions, have the same doubts, insecurities, fears, anger, etc. We can't watch TV or movies without arguing. We can't go to parties or bars without having the topic brought up... My boyfriend calls me crazy and psycho and I'm fed up with the insults and arguments. This is clearly a problem for me and it's very difficult for me to change in a day (not to mention a year!) Have you found a way to deal with this? I'm been this way for over 5 years and seeking help from a psychologist has not helped me at all. Does this mean I need to be alone (single) and change before I can commit to someone? Please, let me know what you've done, if anything, to change the way you feel... I don't want my relationship to be ruined because of my insecurities, but I don't know what to do anymore.