[ZionLynn]

If there is anyone familiar with NH child custody laws...
My ex husband is now living with the woman he had an affair with. He wants to take the children for overnight visits, but refuses to give me the telephone number to the house. We left the visitation as follows--"he can see the children at any time as long as there is advance notice and it does not interfere with school". It does not state anywhere that he is to get overnight visits. He has given me his cell phone number, but he never answers it. I believe that by law he has to give me the phone number to his home for emergency purposes and that I have a legal right to know the address and telephone number of where my kids are. Is there anyone who can confirm this for me?
Also, since the court papers do not say he gets overnight visits, can I refuse to let them got there overnight?
If anyone can help me, I'd really appreciate it. I am struggling financially and cannot afford legal help.
Thanks!

[S SID]

Hi, has I don't know where you are from the laws are very different in other countries. I'm from the U.K and here we have "The citezans advice bereau", they are very helpful and if they can't give you instant advice then they will always get back to you with the correct advice later that day. I don't know if you have something similar where you are from and if not then probably best to contact either the solicitor (lawyer) you used or perhaps even the courts themselves. Hope that helps.

[cjonline]

You have a contact number -- his cell. It will most likely be enough to the courts. I would think that any judge would say you can have his address or the address of where the children are staying. In Virginia you have 30 days to provide it to the other parent.

When I first separated from my ex all he had to provide me with and address and a phone number, the Judge said the cell number was good enough, in order to start visitation. I said he doesn't answer his cell when I call and she ordered my ex to answer it if he has the kids or return the call with in 1 hour no matter what or I could go and pick up the children and refuse the next visitation as punishment. He also has to let me know where the children are going to stay overnight if its not his house and he can't have overnight guests when he has the kids other than those related by blood or marriage. I fought very hard for those guidelines -- they are not 'normal' in the visitition orders.

The down side is now my ex thinks its too much trouble and doesn't want to see the kids and hasn't for over a year.

The bad thing about the vistition being so loose in its wording is that it can be taken both ways. If you refuse him overnight visitation, like you seem that you're going to, he can take you back and get it worded so he can and you will look bad. After all it looks like you are stopping a father from trying to spend time with his children. If it's the case or not, that's the way it looks to the Judge and that's the way your ex will say it is.

Maybe write a letter to your ex and tell him that you want his address or the address of where the children will be for the night and what time he will have them back the next day before he gets the children. Make sure that you say its for emergencies only. If he still won't give you the information then tell him your sorry but he will have to take you back to court to have visitation order changed before he can have overnights. Remember that a Judge will be reading this letter so word it nicely and carefully. Then when he files papers you have doctumation that you were trying to work with him but he is being unreasonable.

If he gives you the address let them go and have fun with their father, you could use the time to yourself.

Don't fight for no overnight visitation (unless he has hurt the kids in the past or is a danger in some way and you can prove it) it will only work against you and make you look bad to the Judge and he will get it anyway.

You should also talk to a lawyer; most have the first appointment for free.